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Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: adamfarr on April 22, 2019, 04:01:33 PM
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My take on the "other side" of exotic.
My Spanish neighbours don't like immigrants (but they don't mean me). Some people don't like Muslims (except the ones that play cricket for England). Some like to watch Mexicans in films or eat Mexican food (but wouldn't want Mexicans living in their street). Etc. How the universe must roll its eyes watching carbon-based life forms squander our pathetic existences hating and persecuting each other.
Not gone through my normal gestation process and definitely rough and unready. But I think you get the message (and I won't keep you more than about 2'50").
Walking Carbohydrate
CH
(You’re so cross) you're gonna cause a crusade
(Get this straight) cos all your shit is man made
(We’re human beings) just water, fat and protein
And just a little trace of walking carbohydrate
V1
You let us mix your drinks / but never marriages
We’re the ones you blame / when your job vanishes
But we just took the work / that your wives won’t do
Like slaving in your fields / or stripping for the likes of you
V2
Would you tell Jesus / there’s no room at your inn
Scared he’d bring over / all his carpenter friends
But what if one of them's / a rockstar centreback
Is that enough for you / to get us on the fast track?
CH
V3
Accents seem exotic / when on the silver screen
But in the street another / mother tongue’s obscene
I understand you want / the stopping and the searching
But will it ever stop / the shooting in our churches
CH
M8
All of us have our fears
But why must I fear more when near
An armed policemen
CH
(c) Adam Farr, 2019, All rights reserved
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Hi Adam,
Some clever and relevant arguments.
Like the harmonies with hints of new wave anger .
Like the cheeky pianos and those claps too.
Lots to like here.
Sandeep
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You sold it to me with the 2:50 comment mate ;D
Well...owwwwwww I thought you were going to go all Steeleye Span on us then. I was quite enjoying the harmonies in the intro and for a moment when the piano came in, I thought "oh no!", but then it really grabbed me. This tune is so much fun all the way through...I think it´s become my favourite of yours on first listen. I´m not 100% sure I can look you direct in the eye with the lyrics about the jobs "your wife won´t do" - personally, I´d refer to layabout teenagers as they´re an easier and more politically correct target ;D
Despite that tiny point, the whole thing is a bundle of fun, filled with energy and conveys a very important message, AND you mentioned your Spanish neighbours so it´s exotic by default. Well done!
P.S. Where do you live in Spain?
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Adam, this one of my favourites already. Its absolutely Infectious in it's delivery and quirky delivery. The vocals are an absolute delight, such clever bvs. Its indefinable genre wise and that's why I love it so much. I was very lucky to live in an amazingly diverse multicultural area. English, Jamaican, Irish, Pakistani, Scottish, Indian, We all lived peacefully together. The next door neighbour's used to pass freshly baked naan bread and samosas every morning. My neighbour on the other side had the finest herbs from Handsworth. Proud of my birth city being such a wonderful example of diversity. Brilliant song Adam
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I just love your style @adamfarr (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20124) - this is fab! Lyrics are very clever and current of course.. It's so original and confidently quirky.. Chorus is SO strong.. Great decision to lead with it.. Just love this.. Good luck in the comp (you guys take these competitions very seriously, right? Can't believe how many entries there are!!).
K
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I think this is brilliant Adam and I love the message :o Clever lyrics and I love the quirky delivery :-* I thought was going to break into full on barbershop quartet in the intro ;D I love the chorus and the piano in the verses is perfect. This song sounds like it could be in a musical. :-*
Totally unique and a very enjoyable listen :)
Fantastic entry :)
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Much of what I was going to say has already been said.
This is really brilliant. Lyrics are very smart indeed and your vocals sound strong and confident.
Highly original and I think and hope this will do really well.
A triumph :)
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Like others have said, smart lyrics and some lovely musical touches (harmonies are nicely put together). Good to hear all this "outrage" from those with all the advantages being called out, isn't heard enough.
I do find the image of walking carbohydrate a bit icky, but maybe that is the point! :)
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Hi Adam,
Not my thing really, probably would suit a Punk version...keep the shouting in the Chr.
Some clever wordplay.
Sorry I couldn't add anything more, LOVE the title.
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Nice Adam!
Using two different approaches in chorus/verse works wonders. It points out the duality of how people are categorized.
The lingering Christian values of society are also represented in a clever way.
Adding an extra bar after the choruses makes the structure of the song tilt in an appealing way.
Love it.
Martin
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Hey Adam,
Every time I hear your work....it makes me smile ;D ;D . Always, a serious side to your lyrics, but
delivered with a voice that communicates the frustration/hopelessness of the situation, with a sense
humour. It's what I'd imagine a stand up 'observational' comedian's band would sing ;D...if ya know wat I meen ;D
It's great stuff Adam....and I can't think of anyone doing anything like this anywhere ;D
Keep em comin....
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Great sentiment Adam and I dug the shoutiness of it. The title is such that its one of those songs you just have to listen to, to find out what the heck it is about. A winner in a Billy Bragg righteous anger / social commentary kind of vein. Good stuff.
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Hey Adam this is a super job of work....love the wry humour in the style and delivery of the serious lyric message....aren't we all hypocritical bastards! Some clever stuff here right from the cross/crusade line on.
harmony barbershop thing is very nicely done. Your lead vocal still sounds like you but sounds bit different somehow...must have processed it differently....sounding good.
As ever you bring us your own distinctive style...raw (not so much here), honest and original....a bit theatrical here.
Oh by the way I enjoyed your Drum challenge non-entry though I didn't comment on it....would have been a fitting entry shame you didn't get it done in time....
...so...glad you made it this time. Great entry.
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you are your own genre intya!!..as others have said quirky and in it's way quite brilliant...although i think liking a Muslim (or anyone else) that plays cricket is perfectly reasonable and not liking a Muslim (or anyone else) that blows children up after a concert is perfectly reasonable...
who could possibly like anyone of any culture blowing people up? and why would it be wrong to not like them?
best, Kevin :)
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Loved that I didn't know what to expect. Starts out Doo wop, then moves to punk with a piano. Really fun mix of stuff going on. This makes the whole thing not take itself too seriously, even though I think there's a serious message underneath it all. The chorus sticks the landing.
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Very entertaining Adam! Smart lyrics and very quirky instrumentation that's full of surprises. Crazy backing vocal, love it!
Good singalong chorus too. Mucho fun, good stuff! :)
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Yo Adam.
This is a cleverly done piece,I also hear the Billy Bragg vibe.
A genre all of your own and a very original song.
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This was a surprise.
Really funny.
You're so cross, you're gonna cause a crusade.
Another great write from you Adam. Nice one.
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Hi Adam,
Love the sentiment behind the lyrics.
What sells it is the delivery of the vocal. Great gusto.
The styles are all over the place and make for a fun and interesting song - even if it is really planted in such serious territory.
Digger
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It's all about the lyrics here, I think, and you've done a great job. The raw, acoustic feel suits it and though my taste is for a more full-on sound, that would spoil this one. Very quirky.