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Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Works in Progress => Topic started by: RealKevM on March 19, 2019, 10:46:50 AM

Title: Believe (First Demo, Work In Progress, Advice Needed)
Post by: RealKevM on March 19, 2019, 10:46:50 AM
Hi guys i'm after some feedback on this new song that i've finished writing this morning. It's a bit more rock n roll for me than usual. It's a first demo and I wanted to share so I can get some advice as I develop the song, the recording isn't perfect and the vocals are well, very off let's just say. I'm after your thoughts on the song and maybe some help with the melody if at all possible please. Thank you.

Lyrics

Verse 1

Wipe my feet on your dreams
And everywhere you've been
I'm here to let you know
I ain't buying your show

Bridge

Cos i'm on my knees
Lookin like you won't believe

Chorus

Do you believe in me?
Like I believe in you?
Are you keeping on
With everything that feels so wrong
Holding on for far too long

Verse 2

You wipe your feet on my dreams
And everywhere i've been
You're here to let me know
You ain't buying my show

Bridge/Chorus

Title: Re: Believe (First Demo, Work In Progress, Advice Needed)
Post by: RealKevM on April 01, 2019, 02:26:38 PM
Not much interest in this one (is it that bad?! lol) here's a live version
Title: Re: Believe (First Demo, Work In Progress, Advice Needed)
Post by: cowparsleyman on April 06, 2019, 10:09:03 AM
@RealKevM (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21324) - Kev this is really good, you've come a long way with your playing and vocals, good to see and hear.

Arrnagement wise I hear the need for a Mid8, that make s returning to the theme more hooky, maybe start the mid 8 on the 3rd chord, and move to the 2nd etc.

Production wise I hear a few options, a kink-ish 60's vibe, or a punk balls out version

You would have fun producing both Kev.

Hope this helps

Good luck with it

All the best

Rich
Title: Re: Believe (First Demo, Work In Progress, Advice Needed)
Post by: RealKevM on April 08, 2019, 11:15:54 PM
Cheers Rich
Title: Re: Believe (First Demo, Work In Progress, Advice Needed)
Post by: adamfarr on April 09, 2019, 06:47:39 AM
Good stuff! I like your voice here, has a touch of Jagger to it. At times you have the time to look at the camera and connect, which is great (and difficult when concentrating on... everything else). I agree with Rich that, although short, a bit of variation would be good. I think you might have to check the tuning (the capo may have thrown things off) but I think this could be your best song and performance so far.
Title: Re: Believe (First Demo, Work In Progress, Advice Needed)
Post by: RealKevM on April 09, 2019, 11:58:17 PM
Thanks @adamfarr (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20124) :) Yeah I think the tuning is out, I had been playing a while before recording this and stupidly forgot to tune up! Really kind and encouraging words, thank you again.
Title: Re: Believe (First Demo, Work In Progress, Advice Needed)
Post by: PaulyX on April 10, 2019, 10:06:34 PM
Hi Kev, in this one your voice reminded me quite a bit of Tom Verlaine from the band "Television".  Check out "Marquee Moon" if you don't know it.  Don't know if it was that association, but it made me think you could maybe take that further with this song... cultivate more of a unique indie vibe for it... that'd work.  Hope the further development of it goes well mate.
Title: Re: Believe (First Demo, Work In Progress, Advice Needed)
Post by: RealKevM on April 12, 2019, 07:33:18 AM
Hi @PaulyX (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21034) I don't know that song i'll check it out right now and see where it takes me. Thank you for having a listen and taking the time to reply :)
Title: Re: Believe (First Demo, Work In Progress, Advice Needed)
Post by: Andreas on April 12, 2019, 07:20:04 PM
Hey @RealKevM (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21324) :) I really like the lyrics and your style of writing! Think you have a really original and powerful voice, and as I have heard it has just gotten better for every song I have heard from you. So just keep on singing and playing and have fun doing it! :)
Title: Re: Believe (First Demo, Work In Progress, Advice Needed)
Post by: pompeyjazz on April 12, 2019, 09:30:10 PM
This is excellent @RealKevM (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21324) I also got that Jagger swagger and it's great to hear your so much more confident vocals. You see, all that practice and open mic nights are really paying dividends now "Wipe your feet on my dreams" is such a brilliant opening line and as @PaulyX (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21034) says you really should check out Marquee Moon. So ahead of its time. I really can't believe that it was released in 1977. Top work Kev, you continue to grow  8)

Title: Re: Believe (First Demo, Work In Progress, Advice Needed)
Post by: RealKevM on April 14, 2019, 10:20:25 AM
Cheers @pompeyjazz (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20269) you're right the practice does seem to be paying off, thank you for being interested in my music I really appreciate it. I've got a gig this afternoon so i'll post a live performance of this later tonight or tomorrow. Still not had the chance to check out Television but I will today.
Title: Re: Believe (First Demo, Work In Progress, Advice Needed)
Post by: RealKevM on April 15, 2019, 12:27:39 PM
Well I played the song live for the first time yesterday, I was really nervous for some reason, usually i'm not too bad. Anyway, if you wouldn't mind have a little watch and letting me know what you think please :)



Title: Re: Believe (First Demo, Work In Progress, Advice Needed)
Post by: Fadow on April 23, 2019, 02:10:39 PM
Some nice gritty vocal moments there Dig those parts. Seems bit more aggressive than when you were singing at home. I would try incorporate them more.
Title: Re: Believe (First Demo, Work In Progress, Advice Needed)
Post by: RealKevM on April 24, 2019, 08:21:34 AM
Some nice gritty vocal moments there Dig those parts. Seems bit more aggressive than when you were singing at home. I would try incorporate them more.
Cheers man I will do. I'm off to see RA tomorrow night btw :)
Title: Re: Believe (First Demo, Work In Progress, Advice Needed)
Post by: Cawproductions on April 25, 2019, 05:08:00 PM
Hi Kev.

Track sounds cool,

My 2 penneth is that I would make the melody line of the chorus and verses different, I like the melody line of the chorus, Maybe make the verse different.

Nice work dude, BTW, like the lyrics on this too, you do put out some cool lines.

Andy
Title: Re: Believe (First Demo, Work In Progress, Advice Needed)
Post by: RealKevM on April 26, 2019, 05:38:01 PM
Hi Kev.

Track sounds cool,

My 2 penneth is that I would make the melody line of the chorus and verses different, I like the melody line of the chorus, Maybe make the verse different.

Nice work dude, BTW, like the lyrics on this too, you do put out some cool lines.

Andy
Cheers mate, I am proud of this one. I'll look into changing the melody up, I appreciate your advice :)
Title: Re: Believe (First Demo, Work In Progress, Advice Needed)
Post by: cowparsleyman on April 29, 2019, 11:23:25 AM
Dig the Hummingbird...
Title: Re: Believe (First Demo, Work In Progress, Advice Needed)
Post by: RealKevM on April 29, 2019, 06:18:50 PM
Dig the Hummingbird...
Cheers man
Title: Re: Believe (First Demo, Work In Progress, Advice Needed)
Post by: RealKevM on December 03, 2019, 02:26:37 PM
Right lads for those following what I do (and I really appreciate it) here's a reworked version of this tune, it starts off slow now and around the 1 min mark things kick in. I think that the new dynamic works well, what do you think?