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Songwriter Forum => Lyrics => Topic started by: Misanthropist on March 02, 2019, 10:52:43 AM

Title: TRIPLE GAZE
Post by: Misanthropist on March 02, 2019, 10:52:43 AM
TRIPLE GAZE

There goes Goldilocks her Paris frocks with her hair in a bun
Mincing about town under a blue sun
Well she thinks it’s blue and pinkie hue la la
She twitted liked and followed the latest craze
It was a man’s triple gaze

Triple gaze like a boss
Sideways and across

The triple gaze went everywhere off course
Hashtag it to the lady in drive-thru divorce
She loves trend setters spreading good news
Especially the meme in phase
It was a man’s triple gaze

Triple gaze like a boss
Sideways and across

Even my star jumping great great great nan
Who likes playing bingo while having a scan
Ran out in the street and looked much younger
what did she need apart from x-ray
it was a mans triple gaze

Triple gaze like a boss
Sideways and across


Follow triple gaze
Like triple gaze
Hashtag triple gaze…..
Triple gaze the craze


Title: Re: TRIPLE GAZE
Post by: Dogmax on March 02, 2019, 09:26:06 PM
I really do like this every line and verse draws you right in fantastic use of words but why triple gaze, would not crystal gaze flow better with understanding   8)
Title: Re: TRIPLE GAZE
Post by: Misanthropist on March 04, 2019, 11:41:08 AM
i see no clear gaze I'm afraid in view of the ubiquitous online sociability what I had in mind was a gaze of a man in the street amiable harmless but she is too busy to notice it with her head on the smartphone screen the second one comes from a man lustfully or insidiously gazing at her profile pictures online third gaze is woman’s own caused by excessive selfie taking which I purport distorts her reality it might as well be a man’s gaze
thank you though ta
Title: Re: TRIPLE GAZE
Post by: Dogmax on March 05, 2019, 06:20:27 AM
Yeah okay triple gaze gave the harmless views of a man but the imagery you have in your lyric is

(Triple gaze like a boss Sideways and across
The triple gaze went everywhere off course)

I just thought crystal gaze and it's meaning of future imagery might flow better on reading but triple gaze will do, nice one.
Title: Re: TRIPLE GAZE
Post by: jte on March 07, 2019, 11:56:21 AM
I like that one! Nice flow and well balanced metaphores.
"Drive through divorce" made it into my long term memory i guess;)
Title: Re: TRIPLE GAZE
Post by: Neil C on March 07, 2019, 06:57:14 PM
yes, thought I have a read and liked it a lot. cleaver imagery and word play.
Cool
Neil
Title: Re: TRIPLE GAZE
Post by: Misanthropist on March 08, 2019, 12:46:06 PM
you're all very kind thanks
Title: Re: TRIPLE GAZE
Post by: Misanthropist on October 13, 2021, 09:08:27 AM
Music to Triple gaze

Listen to Triple gaze (Alt) by Ollie on #SoundCloud
https://soundcloud.app.goo.gl/vMZ6R
Title: Re: TRIPLE GAZE
Post by: rightly on October 13, 2021, 12:06:45 PM
TRIPLE GAZE

There goes Goldilocks her Paris frocks with her hair in a bun
Mincing about town under a blue sun
Well she thinks it’s blue and pinkie hue la la
She twitted liked and followed the latest craze
It was a man’s triple gaze

Triple gaze like a boss
Sideways and across

The triple gaze went everywhere off course
Hashtag it to the lady in drive-thru divorce
She loves trend setters spreading good news
Especially the meme in phase
It was a man’s triple gaze

Triple gaze like a boss
Sideways and across

Even my star jumping great great great nan
Who likes playing bingo while having a scan
Ran out in the street and looked much younger
what did she need apart from x-ray
it was a mans triple gaze

Triple gaze like a boss
Sideways and across


Follow triple gaze
Like triple gaze
Hashtag triple gaze…..
Triple gaze the craze



That's third material Mr.!
I really enjoyed that
Things make a lot more sense to me now
lol

Rally nice Ill check this again later