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Songwriter Forum => Lyrics => Topic started by: Misanthropist on February 22, 2019, 10:50:14 AM

Title: JOY
Post by: Misanthropist on February 22, 2019, 10:50:14 AM

JOY

Hey man or whatever you call yourself nowadays
I’m sorry about all of my delays
I bought you one of the classy chandeliers
I haggled with the seer of seers
So here’s the light of his soul
You wanna see the stars
Well don’t we all

Wait there’s hope the stars are somewhere
Along leafy lanes where lovers stare
At a blind man with a selfie stick
Who thought of light as the brightest trick
But he had nothing to say on the whole
You wanna see the stars
Well don’t we all

I’m am looking for the stars all alone
I find them when god’s on the phone
I can’t answer him and that sounds wrong
But I’m learning this new song
That’s when stars roll
You wanna see the stars
Well don’t we all

I’m learning this new song
While stars roll along
Roll along…….

Title: Re: JOY
Post by: Dogmax on February 22, 2019, 11:38:02 PM

Okay now first off all this is what i see in your flow of lyrics lines  8)

JOY

Hey man or whatever you call yourself nowadays
I’m sorry about all of my delays
I bought you one of the classy chandeliers
I haggled with the seer of seers

So here’s the light of his soul
You wanna see the stars
Well don’t we all

Wait there’s hope the stars are somewhere
Along leafy lanes where lovers stare
At a blind man with a selfie stick
Who thought of light as the brightest trick
But he had nothing to say on the whole

You wanna see the stars
Well don’t we all

I’m am looking for the stars all alone
I find them when god’s on the phone
I can’t answer him and that sounds wrong
But I’m learning this new song

That’s when stars roll
You wanna see the stars
Well don’t we all

I’m learning this new song
While stars roll along
Roll along…….

Title: Re: JOY
Post by: Misanthropist on February 23, 2019, 12:46:31 PM

just flow and no sense really life personified thanks

Title: Re: JOY
Post by: adamfarr on February 27, 2019, 09:14:23 AM

Some great stuff here - "the seer of seers" and "the blind man with the selfie stick".


I seems a shame to go away from the visual and into audible in the final verse - though phones can be visual too so maybe you could tweak to continue the light/seeing images (my unedited first thought: "God's commenting on my instagram prayer; but I can't see through the cracked glass glare ... and that looks wrong")


But it has great potential I think.

Title: Re: JOY
Post by: Misanthropist on February 27, 2019, 10:33:47 AM

thank a lot i'll work on it I just write and post lazily without redrafting
just sheer laziness right now i'm even doubting the tittle of this song joy the song doesn't really evince a lot of it
cheers infinitely yours Shefki

Title: Re: JOY
Post by: adamfarr on February 27, 2019, 11:20:05 AM

The title could be something like "Blindness"...
Don't be lazy with this one - it's really good!