The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: SlavaB on February 04, 2019, 06:26:32 PM
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Hi All,
For the last year I was waiting for inspiration to write new song about the town I moved recently in. After quite few actions within a town and discussions within facebook group which has been classed as local forum. couple days ago someone stolen apple trees from the central park and it kind of inspired me to write a song about the overall situation in town. :D sounds fun with a lot of sarcasm.
Would love to know your opinions about the tracks.
track :
Thank you.
Best Regards,
Slava B.
Lyrics :
Verse 1
They are sitting on the benches
In the park and in town
They have happy,happy faces
Watching clouds by passing now
Soon as they got tired drinking
They are falling into sleep mode
Public taking pictures,pictures
To discuss this on the forum
Verse 2
Beautiful and very green town
Planting apples in the park
Someone said "they will be stolen"
We just laught and trees being grown.
Soon as trees spread roots in ground
I see pictures on the forum
People cry that trees has gone.
Half show wonder, and half ignore
Chorus
Wisbech, Wisbech normal Wisbech
Every day is not the same
Try improving with some effort
Signs that town lives on its own.
Smashing keyboard seeing forum
Full of tears and lot pretenders
Please delete this forum now.
Verse 3
Someone spend his whole day
Tracking people in car park
Taking pictures, pictures
One motive -to show the forum.
Only minor really care
Hundred people in discussion
None of them are being wrong
All of them are known lot better.
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Great stuff. I'll take a listen later. Your next song just has to be "Downham Market" ;D
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Hi John, thanks.
Ha ha... Yeah and followed by Guyhirn :D
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This rocks!!
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Superb stuff Slava. I always read your lyrics before listening to your music and you have summed up the general attitude in many a provincial town and City in the UK pretty succinctly. Apple trees stolen !!! Shit, that's BAD..
Loved the irony. The music was very well put together. You seem to get better and better at that side of things and man is it fecking loud :)
Now concentrate on concluding your East Anglian trilogy. Maybe we can persuade Partridge to get you on his show. Honestly loved this one :)
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Wow - great energy.. really fun track.. Love the vocal delivery - fantastic!
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This rocks!!
Thank you. :)
Superb stuff Slava. I always read your lyrics before listening to your music and you have summed up the general attitude in many a provincial town and City in the UK pretty succinctly. Apple trees stolen !!! Shit, that's BAD..
Loved the irony. The music was very well put together. You seem to get better and better at that side of things and man is it fecking loud :)
Now concentrate on concluding your East Anglian trilogy. Maybe we can persuade Partridge to get you on his show. Honestly loved this one :)
Hi John,
Yes, thats was a kind of shock for me in regards to trees, i felt like we step back to Russian 90s for a while where everybody was earning as they could :D
Thanks for detailed feedback i appreciate it. How did bass sound on your speakers was it okay?
Wow - great energy.. really fun track.. Love the vocal delivery - fantastic!
Thank you MonnoDB for your time
Best Regards,
Slava B.
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Great energy and a fun listen! Perhaps shorten the intro?
Cheers,
Kevin
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Yo Slava.
Love the drive and momentum in the song. The observant lyrics are a bonus.
It all reminds me of a happy Rammstein. :D
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Bass is Mega @SlavaB (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19895) 8)
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Yay! You just gave me a big big grin.
Love this - it's mental.
Great positive energy, flippin' awesome guitar sounds.
It doesn't try to be 'cool', and because of that ends up being very very cool indeed. One of your very best Slava.
1, 2, 3, 4, GO!
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Bass is Mega @SlavaB (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19895) 8)
Thank you sir.
Yay! You just gave me a big big grin.
Love this - it's mental.
Great positive energy, flippin' awesome guitar sounds.
It doesn't try to be 'cool', and because of that ends up being very very cool indeed. One of your very best Slava.
1, 2, 3, 4, GO!
YEAH YEAH :D Thank you PaulyX appreciate youve listened to it and liked it.
Thank you.
Best Regards,
Slava B.
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Good fun.
I can't stop wondering which town this is.
If they have a forum I'm sure they'd get a kick out of hearing this, if you're new to the town though and want to stay there, maybe withhold your ID until you see how it's received.
I've never lived in a small town as an adult.
Rock on!