The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: redrhodie on January 25, 2019, 03:28:34 PM
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Hi everyone,
It's been a while since we posted a song, but things have been crazy, with the holidays, getting our lp done (it's supposed to be cut today) and starting a new job recently. I've been trying to keep up with reviewing all your songs, but know I've missed many. Sorry! I've been trying to catch up, and loving lots of what I'm hearing, but feeling a little like Lucy with the chocolates going by on the conveyor belt. Haha.
Let us know what you think of this. Went out of my comfort zone with the background vocals. Do you like them? Dave is on synthesizers, and Keith is playing all the other instruments, and did the mixing.
Hope you like it. It's okay if you don't. Thanks for listening!
Lynn
Listen to (with HSC) What Might Have Been by faraway my lovely #np on #SoundCloud
https://soundcloud.com/user-468459034/fml-with-hsc-what-might-have-been
Verse:
What if I was born 10 years earlier
(Ten years earlier)
Faraway from the city by the sea
(Faraway from the city by the sea)
What if I hadn't tried to sing
(Oh no)
Would I have met you anyway
(No no)
Wouldn't it fun just to see
Chorus:
Baby let's not have regrets
(No regrets)
There's no time left to second guess
We have today and we might have tomorrow too
(We might have tomorrow)
We don't know what might have been
But we're here right now
Until the end
When the people ((will rule the world))
Verse:
What if you had passed the test
(Passed the test)
And gone with your friends to university
(Oh no)
What if you hadn't knocked her up
(What if you hadn't knocked her up)
Would you be some low life now
(No no)
Or just some rock star anyhow
(La la)
Wouldn't it be fun just to see
Chorus repeats
Middle 8 (oohs)
1 2 3 4
Chorus repeats twice
Outro:
When the people will rule
When our love will rule
When we will rule
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Lovely. Somehow epic.
I wish had someone else to mix my material.
A team effort really pushes thing along.
Well done lyn.
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Really enjoyed this one guys. It reminded me of a 60's Phil Spector sound backed with a nice grungy guitar. There's some great BV's coming at me from all angles.
Excellent work all :)
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This is great - lovely jaunty 60s feel to it. Love the BVs particularly the counterpoint (echoed) parts - and the oooh in the M8. Great vocals, Lynn, and very interesting instrumentation going on there.. such a lot going on overall.. needs a couple of listen to appreciate it all.
Big thumbs up from me!
K
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WOW! that's was an interesting and very enjoyable listen :o with that whirling sound a the very beginning, I thought it was going to be some kind of space odyssey, but then when the vocals came in, I thought it sounded a little on the country side, but not for long, cause the BV's catapulted into a kind of 50's/60's pop song, but then all the interesting instruments in the backing track, gave it a bit of an electronica vibe :o
I think it's a new genre, so way to go guys 8)
I love your vocals Lynn and BV's are an excellent addition :) Love the lyrics and the mix sounds really good to me 8) Great collab 8)
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@redrhodie (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21171) - What a beauty, I love it, just sounds right, could put a double time shaker in @1:54 ish....just to break up the chorus from the verse
What a love thing. Blinkin hooky.
Hope this helps
Rich
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Really enjoyed this, Lynn!
I've always loved your vocals...and they're sounding great here again.
Rhythm guitar sound seemed a little modern-sounding for an otherwise very 60's song...but that was just a thought...it fits in fine.
Mix-wise, I'd maybe pull the backing vocals down a little in the second half...but that's about it. Liked the drums...lovely solid foundation for the track.
Keith hit the jackpot when he found you.
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Yo Lynn.
It's like a cross between Velvet Underground and The Shangri Las.
Sugar sweet vocals,but with a hint of 'bite yer face darkness in those guitars'.
The BVs are good,perhaps a little pitchy here and there,but for me this tempers the 60s pop feel and adds a hint of something ominous.
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Yes, PaulAds I definitely hit the jackpot when Lynn agreed to let me re-mix her song on Justinguitar. The rhythm guitars used a 70s amp setting and a couple of 60s patches. It just goes to show what goes around comes around if that's what modern guitars sound like. The rhythm guitar was based on a classic Spector pattern
When we met in Edinburgh Lynn told me what I contributed to our songs and I finally understand why she works with me.
Skub, what a compliment, I'll take that all day.
crystalsuzy I'm pleased you noticed the hint of country. When I first heard the song it could have gone in many directions, country being one of them.
Thanks MonnoDB, appreciated
Thanks pompeyjazz, Spector is an influence on my mixing he's a great producer what a pity he was a horrid human being.
Rightly, I'm glad you like it. Since Lynn encouraged me to paint I have less time for mixing and have problems with my ears during the winter, only blocked sinuses, I hope. I'm sure you'll find someone on here who will offer to help.
Rich, I prefer the low end and that's reflected in my mixes. There's very little percussive highs in the songs I've mixed. It might be time to step out my comfort zone for the next song.
Thank for all the comments,
Keith
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Yes, PaulAds I definitely hit the jackpot when Lynn agreed to let me re-mix her song on Justinguitar. The rhythm guitars used a 70s amp setting and a couple of 60s patches. It just goes to show what goes around comes around if that's what modern guitars sound like. The rhythm guitar was based on a classic Spector pattern
When we met in Edinburgh Lynn told me what I contributed to our songs and I finally understand why she works with me.
Skub, what a compliment, I'll take that all day.
crystalsuzy I'm pleased you noticed the hint of country. When I first heard the song it could have gone in many directions, country being one of them.
Thanks MonnoDB, appreciated
Thanks pompeyjazz, Spector is an influence on my mixing he's a great producer what a pity he was a horrid human being.
Rightly, I'm glad you like it. Since Lynn encouraged me to paint I have less time for mixing and have problems with my ears during the winter, only blocked sinuses, I hope. I'm sure you'll find someone on here who will offer to help.
Rich, I prefer the low end and that's reflected in my mixes. There's very little percussive highs in the songs I've mixed. It might be time to step out my comfort zone for the next song.
Thank for all the comments,
Keith
That's cool, just go for it, whack a little exciter on it, and bring it lower than you think in the mix, usually goes mid to hard R or L. It's the sort of thing that would be missed if you removed it but folk wouldn't know why.
Good luck Keith
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Thanks Rightly. I'm lucky Keith came along. Before him, we were paying someone to mix our songs, and it wasn't cheap, (and didn't have his panache).
Yes, pompeyjazz. That's the sound I was going for.
Thanks Karen! I was hoping you'd like it. I always love your vocals, and aspire to sound good to you.
Crystal Suzy, you have great ears. You picked up on each of us as individuals. It definitely started as a country song (that's me), and I sent it to Keith and asked him to fix that. Not that there's anything wrong with country, I just didn't want it to go that way. So he went Phil Spector with the rhythm, and I said oh, and that inspired the background vocals. The electronica is Dave, who makes everything a little bit darker, and makes us sound like us.
Thanks Rich. I'm really glad you like it. I could've pulled out my tambourine. That might have been fun. Keith's probably relieved I didn't. Haha.
Thanks PaulAds. I'm glad you still like my vocals. Keith's answered everything correctly, except that I'm the one who hit the jackpot. I guess we're both lucky to feel that way.
Skub, I'm glad you like my pitchy vocals. 😊 I wish I could say it was intentional, but the highs were higher than I ever tried to sing before in my life. I kept cracking up. Although I didn't quite hit the mark, it felt as if I channeled Buffy Sainte Marie; a good time was had by me.
Thanks again everyone! Really appreciate your thoughts.
Lynn
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Hi Lynn,
This one's so much fun! Loved the bubbles right at the beginning & the instrumental with the oooos just kicked it into another gear.
The 60s Spector rock rhythm & chord progression goes really well with the melody & your vocals are very good. The main voice & echo vocals made it very captivating!
Thanks for sharing,
Law
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I'm loving the bass and the whole production/feel is great too. Great work.
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Like it Lynne. It's catchy and we'll delivered. I would personally prefer it a little faster and a little more bouncy. Perhaps in a slightly higher key too. And the lead vocals could be upped a bit in the mix. Not a criticism. It's great as is. Just a bit of tinkering could elevate it further. Thanks Micky
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Hey Red,
Lots of people saying it's been a while since they posted, sounds like a really good time for everyone to be getting involved! Absolutely love your progress and fantastic how news on your LP, well done to you all.
Oh you do make a great team, all that creativity and talent bundled together and the comfort in how that's combined comes out both in the composition in the coming out of comfort zones. Backing vocals sound beautiful, both the voice and production.
Very fulfilling listen, lots of great sounds int he right places, and synth section is super cool.
Cheers,
Scott.
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Thanks the portrait piano. You're too kind. I really appreciate that you like it.
Thanks RealKevM. I agree with you about Keith's bass and production. He's funky.
Micky, I think you might be right about making it faster/bouncier. I might experiment with that. It's maybe lacking a little oomph. Maybe it's too slow.
Thanks Scott! The LP came and is everything I hoped for. Glad you like this song. Always appreciate your words of support!
Thanks again, everyone,
Lynn
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I love this long extra assured chorus melody line @redrhodie (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21171) , they don't write 'em like that anymore. Shame, cos it's great!
The instrumental break is quite a surprise as it breaks out of the retro vibe, but is so well done. As the song goes on and the backing vocals take a bigger part you've created a great soundscape and quite a melodic joy.
Yeah, I really enjoyed this, whatever genre it may be - who knows - but definitely a fab listen! ;D
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The backing vocals on the first half of the song have a cool Linda McCartney vibe. :D