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Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: Williamjohnsmith on January 24, 2019, 09:15:00 PM

Title: A Difficult Year
Post by: Williamjohnsmith on January 24, 2019, 09:15:00 PM

Hi there

this is the first song I am posting on here

a song about a year I lived through and other things

recorded in my bedroom

https://soundcloud.com/user-602168004/a-difficult-year

feedback appreciated, I know the production could do with work more interest in feedback just on the song itself although anythings welcome :D

Lyrics:

Kill the Maître d' so slowly
I'd hate to see you frown
so turn it upside down hunny

what's worse is all of the aching
time spent pacing the hall
I guess I want you all or nothing

I've wasted all my youth
and I can't even face it
wasted all on you
so wasted you couldn't remember the faces

and I'm getting ugly
just like I'm meant to be
lonelier than god
so sick of I don't know what

so feed me through a tube
cut my hair and call me your baby
everything I do
I do it
so that misery
can keep breathing

if the beatings worth the bruise
i’d hate to say that i don’t need you either
cos god i know i do
and god knows
i can’t bare to be here with you either

Title: Re: A Difficult Year
Post by: pompeyjazz on January 24, 2019, 10:40:34 PM

I really liked this @Williamjohnsmith (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22301)
Atmospheric,  dark and moody
What you've done with the vocals is interesting and pretty unique. This could be expanded into a mega track. Personally I would minimise the fx a bit but apart from that it's a blinder of a first submission. Nice work man  :)

Title: Re: A Difficult Year
Post by: Williamjohnsmith on January 24, 2019, 10:43:40 PM

Thank you @pompeyjazz (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20269) !

I agree with you about the effects after listening again

Title: Re: A Difficult Year
Post by: pompeyjazz on January 24, 2019, 10:47:58 PM

Nothing wrong with FX man. We all need all the help we can get, or at least I do  ;D

Title: Re: A Difficult Year
Post by: rightly on January 25, 2019, 09:48:10 AM

I like this too
Really stripped down.
It does Sound very, I hope it isn't autobiographical.

Rock on, dude

Title: Re: A Difficult Year
Post by: Williamjohnsmith on January 25, 2019, 10:03:21 AM

Thanks for the positive feedback @Rightly (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20219) the song is about things I saw and experienced last year I hope you still like it!

Title: Re: A Difficult Year
Post by: crystalsuzy on January 25, 2019, 11:26:14 AM

Hi and welcome to this forum @Williamjohnsmith (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22301)  :)
What a powerful 1st song...so dark, so heavy, so moody :o Must have been very hard to watch and experience this :'( 
You've done an amazing job expressing it in a song 8) writing and singing this must have been somewhat cathartic :)
Great job!

Title: Re: A Difficult Year
Post by: Williamjohnsmith on January 25, 2019, 12:47:30 PM

Thank you @crystalsuzy (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18947) I’m glad/surprised people have enjoyed it

Yes very cathartic

Title: Re: A Difficult Year
Post by: redrhodie on January 25, 2019, 01:25:21 PM

Welcome to the forum! Wow, this is really dark, and really pretty. Writing music is very cathartic, and listening to music can affect or reinforce ones emotions. I'll remember this next time I want to feel sad. Very powerful.

Lynn

Title: Re: A Difficult Year
Post by: Williamjohnsmith on January 25, 2019, 02:15:27 PM

Thanks lynn! @redrhodie (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21171) hopefully it doesn’t make anyone too sad though! I myself find sad music quite comforting

Title: Re: A Difficult Year
Post by: Cawproductions on January 25, 2019, 02:47:53 PM

Hi there William,

Really loved the vibe and Arps on this, Created the dark side nicely..

Interesting vocal style but yeh I think it worked..

Nice song.

Title: Re: A Difficult Year
Post by: redrhodie on January 25, 2019, 03:11:33 PM

Quote from: Williamjohnsmith on January 25, 2019, 02:15:27 PM

Thanks lynn! @redrhodie (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21171) hopefully it doesn’t make anyone too sad though! I myself find sad music quite comforting

Oh, no, you shouldn't be worried about making people feel too sad. That's the whole point. Haha. Make them cry, and revel in their tears!

Lynn

Title: Re: A Difficult Year
Post by: Williamjohnsmith on January 25, 2019, 06:04:10 PM

Thanks @Cawproductions (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20938) and good I won't worry then @redrhodie (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21171) :D

Title: Re: A Difficult Year
Post by: MonnoDB on January 25, 2019, 08:59:17 PM

Interesting sounds, intriguing lyrics. Very dark indeed, a little disturbing but that's not a bad thing - thought-provoking. I too really liked the guitar work.. the arps really work.

Look forward to hearing more..

K

Title: Re: A Difficult Year
Post by: Skub on January 25, 2019, 09:51:39 PM

Yo William.

Some great lines in this piece.

More than a nod to Radiohead,without being derivative. Interesting.

I played it several times,so I connected with something.....

Title: Re: A Difficult Year
Post by: Williamjohnsmith on January 25, 2019, 10:17:16 PM

thank you very much @MonnoDB (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19820)  !! and thank you @Skub (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20061)  I am glad you enjoyed it enough to listen to more than once, I've only ever heard one song by radio head and that's "the bends". a kind compliment nonetheless. :)