The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: rightly on January 24, 2019, 12:29:19 PM
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I've been away from this Forum for a while.
This is the most recent song I've put vocals to.
Was a blast to put together, as ever it was a learning experience.
I will at another point be able to give more information about the song.
I'm almost completely happy with it as it stands. It's certainly time to move on.
Feedback would be very welcome. I hope someone enjoys it.
https://soundcloud.com/rightly/power-n-glory
power n‘ glory
looking back through the prism of time
all them women who would undermine
my mistakes
here in my head and under my skin
where on god’s earth have I been
until now?
I want to get up n’ out n’ let’s go
plenty stories to be written, to be told
here in the shadows I am in decline
I’ll catch the light, mostly anytime
contemplating this prism of mine
I realise that the enemy
is my mind
all my business n’ my scuffed up shoes
who do I trust if not you?
what’s your name?
think fast, it need not last, I’ll make it fit
mine is the power, the glory, the music
here in the shadows I am in decline
I’ll catch the light, mostly anytime
__________________________________________
Rightly & Jamie*
________________________________________________
*Jamie my oblivious collaborator. Forgive me for my sins.
@jamie1802
I heard a beautiful, sophisticated song from a member of the Forum called Jamie.
Inspired I asked him for the chords to try to get a variation going.
This song is the result of this Exchange.
Thanks again Jamie!! I'll send you a PM. God bless.
this is a link to that song:
https://soundcloud.com/jamie1802/shadows
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Yo Rightly.
Man,this is a psychedelic offering for sure!
It's like listening to a folk song melded with the soundtrack of a computer game! :o
I openly admire your pushing of the envelope and experimentation,it can only lead to pastures new.
Processing... :D
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I've really missed your presence on the forum @Rightly (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20219) I've actually been listening to some of your other stuff today. It's so refreshing that you always push the boundaries. This one deserves a few listens as it's not immediate and that's a fine thing for sure. Your music always inspires me to think that any direction is possible. Keep creating man as I love your output
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I've really missed your presence on the forum @Rightly (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20219) I've actually been listening to some of your other stuff today. It's so refreshing that you always push the boundaries. This one deserves a few listens as it's not immediate and that's a fine thing for sure. Your music always inspires me to think that any direction is possible. Keep creating man as I love your output
Thanks @Skub (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20061) and pompey
I've been away but I wasn't lazy
I've some new and interesting grooves that I can't wait to share with you
I'm still learning how to go About with cubase, mixing n'mastering.
Sometimes it's a bit irritating because I'd like to just write some simple song on the acoustic, like I used to.
if I just take a break and Play some … doesn't work like that though, I need to have something to say to get a song out.
Oh poor me. Nevermind.
Good to be back.
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Love the trippy psychedelic vibe of this track @Rightly (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20219) 8) Electronica meets Floyd which makes it kind of unsettling in some way :o
Your vocals are great and I think they're what give it the Floyd vibe. How did you get them to sound like that? ???
I really like Jamie's work as well, and although there are similarities to "Shadows", they are quite different :)
A pleasure to listen to your 'out of the box' creation :)
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Really cool song. I think this is your best singing, Rightly. I'm getting an Ian Curtis vibe. Sounds like you've figured cubace out. What a way to come back! Great lyrics, Jamie.
Lynn
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Really cool song. I think this is your best singing, Rightly. I'm getting an Ian Curtis vibe. Sounds like you've figured cubace out. What a way to come back! Great lyrics, Jamie.
Lynn
I'm glad you like the track Lynn. N @crystalsuzy (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18947)
I think my cubase progress is slow. I seem to have ears that will adjust, it's a drawback when mixing.
Cubase is huge I try not to get too lost, just a bit.
I'm not sure I really like this song n this makes it interesting for me.
There's an unrecorded acoustic version that sounds quite different, I want to get that one done.
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"I realise that the enemy is my mind"... what a great line and so often true..
It always takes me a couple of listens or more to your songs to get my head around them because they are a little avant garde and I don't listen to a lot of music like that (I'm just a simple folkie really!) but I invariably get drawn in and this one maybe more than others. I'm waffling, I know... I found the lyrics intriguing and the music very interesting and challenging and I really enjoyed the song and will be revisiting.
A fine song, @Rightly (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20219)
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"I realise that the enemy is my mind"... what a great line and so often true..
It always takes me a couple of listens or more to your songs to get my head around them because they are a little avant garde and I don't listen to a lot of music like that (I'm just a simple folkie really!) but I invariably get drawn in and this one maybe more than others. I'm waffling, I know... I found the lyrics intriguing and the music very interesting and challenging and I really enjoyed the song and will be revisiting.
A fine song, @Rightly (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20219)
Avant garde?
For me the folky sound is nice but limited when expressing or describing human emotions.
I like challenging music, I've nothing against relaxing music but I'm more inclined to explore the possibilities of any given environment. . . I keep myself entertained. :)
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An excellent write...er...Rightly :P
A fascinating offering that pretty much defies categorising.
The title reminded me of something I wrote about 30 years ago...about my local vicar
"The mourners cried themselves to grief, the Conman in the Collar
Keeps on stumbling through his rather far-fetched story
While everyone looks up towards the Heavens and they’re waiting
Kind of hoping for some power or some glory"
Cracking stuff, as ever.
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It plods - full of angst
I like it!
No idea why, I mean it plods and is full of angst! ;D ;D
Good work - very creative IMHO
Paul
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It plods - full of angst
I like it!
No idea why, I mean it plods and is full of angst! ;D ;D
Good work - very creative IMHO
Paul
A plodful of the stuff.
I'm glad you like it. I suppose it Comes from a heady space,
I've really grown to like it myself.
Stayed tuned, the best is yet to come.
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Yo Rightly,good to hear you again man. :)
Below are some of the listed obligations a listener ought to employ when preparing to listen to your music.
1.Tear up that rule book.
2.Ditch your limiting preconceptions.
3.Open your mind
I love to hear you plot your own course,not trying to sound like anyone but yourself. I also love this sprawling aural vista with it's challenging lyrics.
Preach it,brother Rightly. 8)
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8) im sorry but to much pink man anyway 8)
Hey man good to hear you again on hearing your vocal style this is your lead in
I want to get up n’ out n’ let’s go
plenty stories to be written, to be told
here in the shadows I am in decline
I’ll catch the light, mostly anytime
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8) im sorry but to much pink man anyway 8)
Hey man good to hear you again on hearing your vocal style this is your lead in
I want to get up n’ out n’ let’s go
plenty stories to be written, to be told
here in the shadows I am in decline
I’ll catch the light, mostly anytime
hi @Dogmax (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22307)
I'm not sure what you mean with "Pink man".
yeah, I think you might be right
that verse as a lead-in would be fun.
I'm starting to think I might be too quick with calling something finished.
never mind, ever onward! I've more to come.
Thanks dude!