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Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: Neil C on January 22, 2019, 10:54:59 PM
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Hi,
Here's a new tune from me. I've always been interested in history and often wondered about the Underground's mural. So I started to dig and write these two stories about love, and then put then to a pop tune.
So really interested in hearing what you all think.
:)
neil
https://soundcloud.com/neilconnor-2/charing-x-master-13-jan-2019 (https://soundcloud.com/neilconnor-2/charing-x-master-13-jan-2019)
Charing Cross
I never thought that you’d go
I never thought you would
Leave me standing on the platform
You left me there for good
Eleanor, oh Eleanor
Where did you go?
So in love, so in love, how was I to know?
Of all the precious things I’ve loved
And all that I have lost
I never thought you leave me there
At Charing Cross
Sitting on the underground
I’ve passed by many times
I never really thought about
Those medieval lines
See the busy workman working
With tools and hands
In black and white upon the wall
I didn’t understand
From Lincoln down to Westminster
At places where she laid
Of all the precious things I’ve loved
And all that I have lost
I never thought you leave me there
At Charing Cross
Eleanor, oh Eleanor
You were my queen
Eleanor, oh Eleanor
The only one for me
Of all the precious things I’ve loved
And all that I have lost
I never thought you leave me
At Charing Cross
c N Connor 2019
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Great job Neil!
I might be of chasing a goose, but does Chairing, apart from being a location, refer to drawing with charcoal?
Anyway. I found the choruses lacking a bit of reverb. You sing softly but there seems to be a bit too little room sound.
The solo is great. Real nice guitar tone but at 2:16 you hit the note C# a bit off the beat. (Sorry about that I'm just over caffeinated.)
All in all great.
Cheers,
Martin
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Loving the choppy guitar and top lead guitar work as usual Neil, lovely solo btw. A lovely bouncy uniquely British style pop song :)
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Hello Neil, good song. I second the British style pop song and the top lead guitar with a great solo. In times the singing sounds a bit monotone but may can be fixed with a bit hall or reverb?
Well done.
Alexander
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Hi Neil,
I love songs that mention places & Charing Cross is a great choice. I real melting pot of tourists & city workers, I often use it to get to Chinatown.
The choppy guitar & bouncing base makes it really uplifting & cheerful & I enjoyed the well thought out guitar solo.
As others have said, a bit a tweaking to bring the vocals out more & this will be really great.
Law
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Didn't get it until I googled "charing cross."
Love the history and what seems to be (maybe) a little bit of a present day "loved her, lost her" story mixed in????
Even if you didn't intend it, it's good that it creates some doubt/wonder in the listener's mind.
Haven't listened yet. Going to do that now.
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Martin, I though something similar about the name, maybe making charcol but no: ‘name probably came from the Anglo-Saxon word ċerring, meaning a bend, as it stands on the outside of a 90-degree bend in the River Thame. Then we add the cross for Eleanor. Going to have to listen again to your other points. Keep up the caffeen:-)
Pompeyjazz, re British pop song I was hearing late 70’s Joe Jackson, XTC etc.
Alex, that’s for your comments
Law, thanks. I like to include British place names, to British ears US places always sounded exotic..
Verlon, thanks yes I conflagulated two love contrasting love stories with same name Eleanor.
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Hi Neil,
Kinkesque and so English folk/rock. Top notch playing and production with a lovely vintage vibe. Loved the electric rhythm guitar sound. The lead is very Dave Davies. Great catchy chorus tops off a rather excellent piece of work.
M
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Yo Neil.
I dig the concept and the history lesson. I learned something today.
One thing I've always known is,you get a great guitar sound as well as writing a mean song.
Top stuff. 8)
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Catchy tune @Neil C (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18856) .. great guitar work and interesting lyrics - added bonus of the background stories. Agree re the Kinks vibe to it. Really enjoyed and went back for a second listen, which must be a good thing! :-)
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Montydog, great feedback, I think the Kinks reference comes in part from the lyrics, my vocals and the the downward progression on the solo. although I had in my my two others in mind Joe Jackson and XTC again both very British bands..
Skub, "I dig the concept and the history lesson", pleased it worked and not too contrived and thanks for comments on the tune and guitar - thats my latest acquisition a brad paisley tele - light as a feather and really alive to play with a vox :-)
MonnoDB - pleased you like the story as well as the tune, thanks
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Love them guitars! Catchy little number indeed. Pop at it's best and production is right on the money as well, maybe a bit more of that snare would give it even more'drive'? Really tasty solo esp the last bit, good move to drop everything after the solo and build it up again.
Well done!
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Yeah...quirky and cool...like great English pop music used to be.
Very nice guitars and Ron's (?) drums are still doing the business unless I'm much mistaken :P
Nice story too!
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Loving this!!! Total foot tapper!
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Jambrains,
Praise indeed given you're production and let us not forgot mighty guitaring thanks indeed.
PaulAds,
'quirky and cool...like great English pop music used to be' and yes Ron's drums - good spot
dinnerwithgreedo,
great to see you back on the forum and that you're foots at tapping
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I really like this one. It has all the elements of a good song and your production and musicianship is very good. I particularly like the bass guitar work.
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Clever song
Makes you think , how many land marks you've walked past and just taken for granted.
Has a real Brit Pop feel.
Love the guitar arrangements...a great listen.
Sandeep
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Yes, before I read the other comments I was also thinking “Ray Davies” and “XTC”, which is fine company to keep.
I think this is one of your best Neil. Great upbeat guitars and the lyrics are cool,and the middle section rocks out nicely. Great stuff.
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Luv it good work laa
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Whato @Neil C (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18856) - Hooky indeed, and carefullt crafted, Love the mid8 chords, and the gtr sounds, BVox too sound tight, just a couple of ideas...maybe use a pick on the bass, it would give it a bit of punch.
The LVox sounded a little laid back for this choppy track, just a tad more balls in the vocal delivery maybe with some female ooh's in the hooks.
Hope this helps Neil
Rich
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I really like this Neil. You've got a real songcraft sensibility about your pop. Production is excellent as always. The structure works really well, leading from the verses to the choruses with a nice little run-down and lead in. You also give it a bit of variety in the changes, then during the solo and cleverly take out the instruments for the final verse before building back up again. It's a classy arrangement.
Sometimes I do wish you'd give it a little more welly with your voice, I think it would suit a song like this one. But all in all, it's great. Thanks for posting!
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Really nice pop tune Neil :) The lyrics are compelling and well sung. Very well produced and arranged as always ;) Great solo :)
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i missed this
knockout song neil
love the idea and imagery
vox work great & natural
hear all your influences roll into something else unique
lovely changes ..you serve up dummy turns like a centre forward
great track