The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: Binladeda on January 17, 2019, 06:51:36 PM
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Hello one and all ;D ;D
Here's another one that should have been posted months ago, but the gods had other plans ;D
Most of the work was done by @Cazrolina (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20891) ....vocals, bass, drums
@flossie (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=6918) wrote the piano track, and I put together the lyrics..
Also BIG thanks to @Skub (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20061) for production, and @cowparsleyman (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21308) for his creative input and advice
There's been a lot of debate around songcraft/repetition/dynamics etc etc, but in the end I've decided
it is what it is ;D . I love it, and if I'm in the right mood....it brings a tear to my eye :-[ ::)
Anyway, it will be interesting to hear what everyone thinks........thanks in advance for taking the time
to listen and comment. ;D
https://soundcloud.com/binladeda/memories-caz-flossie-collab
You never said I'm leaving
You never said goodbye
You were gone before I knew it
Only you knew why
A million times I needed you
Countless times I cried
If love alone would have stopped you
You never would have gone
But I wont stand by and cry
For all those things we thought we were
But you're there when I close my eyes
Everything endures
And you're still with me (I still love you)
But things aren't as they appear
Things aren't as they appear
My whole world has changed
And only memories ease the pain
A friend, a laugh, a kiss
All these things I'll miss
All these things I'll miss so much
The comfort of a loved ones touch
You were always a heartache, a silent tear
And now these things are precious
A memory of when you were here
But things aren't as they appear
Things aren't as they appear
And only memories ease the pain
I remember moments we shared
You are gone now
But one thing remains
Here in my heart
A smile in my day
No matter where you'll be
You'll have me in your memory
And telling other lovers
You'll think of me
I can't let you go
You're still with me
I still love you
Love you
Well there 'tis folks. Hope you enjoy the journey ;D ;D
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@Binladeda (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18620)
Hi Bin, lovely song with nice piano, I'm afraid the bass and drums didn't seem to fit with the rest to me, but @Cazrolina (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20891) has done her usual stunning job on the vocals.
Cheers, Mikey
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@Binladeda (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18620) - Really lovely song Steve, another sublime piece, must have been an ordeal for you...
Good to hear the final cut, do love Flossie and Caz's contributions
Rich
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What a beautiful voice @Cazrolina (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20891) has - it’s lovely song and the lyrics are heart wrenching and emotionally delivered. Bass was a bit loud for me - I’m no expert and am listening on apple buds.
I can see how this one would bring a tear to your eye! It really is lovely.
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Beautiful song.
... Never know whats coming round the corner with your songs....only the talent level stays the same.
Great pianos, I like the contrast with the bass., gives the song a bit of depth and a kind of live feeling.
Cool and sentimental lyrics... a
Amazing vocals.
Top tune
Sandeep
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Hi B,
That's incredible piano work & Cazrolina really did the heart wrenching lyrics due justice. The juxtaposition with the more upbeat bass & drums was an unexpected surprise but certainly added an extra dimension.
All in all, I really enjoyed the song & high quality production.
The Portrait Piano
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This is a superbly crafted sophisticated piece of work you guys. The piano and vocal work are exceptional. It's a super slinky vibe and the production is absolutely top notch. My only minor critique on this one would be that maybe the bass could have been used a little more sparingly for more dramatic effect. I don't think you need it in the first verse and would be more effective as it drops in and out. The beats give it a modern feel although again I thought that they could have been used intermittently. I sound like a right muso crit don't I. Don't get me wrong guys as I think this song is outstanding and I really can't knock it in any way. Just observations from my first 3 listens.
Top notch :)
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@Binladeda (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18620)
A beautiful song from the heart Steve. Aren't they the best ones?
Paul
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Wow I,m flashed. Thats the music I'm going for. A distinct voice a lovely piano and some sparingly well played instruments.
Perfect delivered top notch. I'm a bit jalousie.
Alexander
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This is not my kind of music...BUT...
I can recognise quality when I hear it!
Stunning vocals, as expected from Cazrolina and a well played and written piano part to accompany.
Great lyrics and there is a sophistication to the melody writing and the only thing that is lacking to my ears is that killer hook to catapult this in to the stratosphere. That might just be my inexperience though trying to pull this song back down to a level that it has already surpassed.
I think you've come together to deliver something very good here guys and with a little refinement and rethinking of the sound and treatment of the bass and drums, this has the potential to be a modern classic.
Yodasdad.
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Really lovely, folks
Piano and Caz's vocals grabbed the spotlight and never slipped back into the shadows.
Lyrics were really touching when read through. They didn't dominate the song, though...which worked nicely...it was just another layer of goodness you could indulge yourself in, should you wish to delve deeper into it.
Very nice indeed.
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Had a few listens and I love the times that the vocal parts intertwine, really gives an atmosphere, which I came away remembering (more than any particular moments or words but that's not a bad thing).
Nicely arranged too to give enough room for all the talent on show.
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Standing ovation. My co workers think I'm insane.
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Good to hear again after all this time,bin and Caz.
That bass needs to come way down,I'll have a look and see if it's still in my daw and do a tweak. @Binladeda (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18620)
Caz vox are awesome,as is Flossie's keys.
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I love me a good piano song - and this is top drawer IMO.
Nice ivory tickling and vox as others have noted.
I wasn't sure about the busy bass - but it is a great bass sound and well in tune ;D
Another good collab
Paul
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All I can say is WOW! Incredible collab 8) What a beautifully piano line...so delicate...really lovely Flossie :)
Beautiful heartfelt lyrics Bin,and so beautifully sung by Caz...amazing :o Gorgeous harmonies :-*
Production is excellent, although I agree that the bass should come in a little later and maybe a little less busy...I like the spareness
starting around 2:45 :-\
On the first listen, the drums didn't sound like they fit, but the more I listened, the more they grew on me :-\
Absolutely gorgeous song :)
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Hi,
This is a lovely collab - the vocals are a particular highlight. I didn't like the drums at all and the bass is too busy but the beauty of the song and performance carry it. Others have pointed out that there is no killer chorus but I say who cares?
Lovely song beautifully sung.
M
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Bin appears to be on the missing list (hope he's ok) So I've taken the liberty of doing a remix based on the opinion gathered so far.
I've simplified and lowered the level of the double bass.
Dropped out the drums completely,as I lack the skills/finesse to make anything work and just maybe....that's because the song doesn't need drums?
This link is private,as it's not my gig,so if any of the main folk object,I'll dump the link and no lives were lost.
Have a listen,if you have the time and see what you think.
Davy.
https://soundcloud.com/skub1955/beauty-bin-caz/s-W28sV
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Top work Davy. My Festival monster partner is still whipping us all into shape I can tell you for sure :)