The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: The Portrait Piano on January 14, 2019, 10:59:28 AM
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I guess this is just a run of the mill love song. It's written for a special someone and I just wanted to share it. Thanks for listening :D
https://soundcloud.com/theportraitpiano/strangest-of-senses
Strangest of Senses
Verse 1
Once again
I'm writing a song
It's the strangest of senses
Happiness
Every time this happens
I know I will get a cupboard
Jump straight in and smash it open
It's only emotions
Day after day
I see myself in the mirror
I am dancing inside with my shadow
Getting low
Chorus
Every time I see your face
Your sweetest smile and soft embrace
I know why it's so
I can't bear to live without you
Can't you tell can't you tell these words are true * 2
Verse 2
Once again
I'm writing a song
It's the strangest of senses
The sadness
Every time this happens
I know I will get a hammer
Smash things up until they're broken
It's only emotions
Night after night
I see myself in the mirror
I am dancing inside with my shadow
I feel the glow
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@The Portrait Piano (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20602) - I really dig this, some very nice progressions. Just needs a bit of production and maybe arranged a bit, but very good work.
Hope this helps
Rich
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Hi mate,
I completely agree with the above comment. Very nice piano especially. Just needs a bit of production to make the vocal pop a bit.
I'm sure you're special someone will love it though.
Nice work.😁👍🏻
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Thanks for your kind feedback. Do you have any suggestions on production equipment/ software for piano vocals?
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Some great piano and the tune has a lot of potential.
As per above comments need a good production process.
Well done
Sandeep
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Very Dylanesque vocals,
Again I would agree with the previous comments.
If you let us know how you are doing things at the moment and what equipment you've got available, we could probably suggest something that would require too much effort or investment.
From the sound I'm guessing you're using a single mic, possibly even an iPhone, to record the vocals and a digital piano/keyboard simultaneously. I could be mistaken but if this is the case some basic software that would allow you to record both separately and then combine them would be a good step up.
Then you could look at recording the audio or digital signal from the piano, rather than the sound coming from the speakers, which would eliminate the sound of fingers on keys.
From there a whole world of possibilities are opening up to you...
It's a bit like Pringles though...once you pop, you just can't stop!😆
Yodasdad.
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@Yodasdad (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19208) you're spot on, I basically press record on my phone then start playing & singing.
It'll be great to learn how to record instrumental & vocals separately & digitally. Thanks in advance for your advice!
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I agree with all what the others said. Anyway could be a very nice song.
Here you will get a lot of help for sure.
Alexander
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Nice piano and melody, i'd try and think about phrasing and perhaps slowing things down a bit. At the moment it's difficult to make out the lyrics plus the vocals need to be louder or brought up in the mix. As I say thouh you've got a really good song here.
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Yo PP.
The song has a music hall/musical feel.
You sound as if you are holding back on your vocal delivery,as if others can hear and you don't wish to disturb them. This approach never works for anything other than a reference point for a song. You need to be in a place where you can express yourself with no inhibitions.
Like others I'd love to hear a decent recording. I hear the Dylan thing on your vox too.
A solid song man. :)
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I agree with @Yodasdad (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19208)
It has taken me ten years starting to learn recording. Look for a multi track app for your phone, it might be a good start.
All together a good song!
All the best, and keep posting!
Martin
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You can stick with your phone as @Martinswede (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20851) suggested. If it is indeed an Apple iPhone, you want to download GarageBand. Not sure what is available on Androids. Not sure what kind of interface you would need to record keyboard directly in to the phone, as opposed to the sound from the speakers, but I’m pretty sure the technology is available.
If you have acces to a computer, you’re probably better of going down this route, because it’s no doubt where you end up anyway.
If it’s and Apple Mac, go for GarageBand again, I think it’s free, and it’s perfect for what you want. Not sure what’s best or cheap on PC but I’ve heard good reports from people on here of Reaper.
To get you started on a computer you just need a few basic things: A digital audio workstation (DAW) such as GarageBand/Reaper, a digital/audio interface, a microphone, an audio and/or midi lead to connect keyboard to interface (and a lead for the mic) and a decent pair of headphones.
From there you will chop and change and add to your setup as necessary.
I’m pretty sure @Boydie (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18510) may be along shortly to offer you some more expert pointers, or I would recommend posting or looking through the threads on the recording page.
Yodasdad
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Some nice chord progressions going on and a good melody. It did sound a bit like you were trying to cram loads of words in there. Maybe it needed slowing down a bit or maybe leave some words out as sometimes less is more :)
Good work
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Yep I think it's all been said... nice chord progressions (especially the choruses), felt like the scanning of the lyrics could be worked on a bit in some of the lines (chop some words out). I could for sure imagine it with big production though.
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You have some very interesting lyrical ideas there - definitely not a run of the mill love song, but something edgy and original.
Phrasing's a taste thing, with no real right or wrong and I say if it sounds right to you then go with that, depending on the effect you want to convey. Reminds me a bit of Benjamin Clementine who seems to have his own (very effective I might say) rules.
So keep going - I'm sure you've got lots more to come.
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Thank you for all of your feedback. I really appreciate you taking the time to listen to my song & write to me.
@cowparsleyman (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21308)
@LostBoy (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20481)
@Movin Flavour (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20528)
@martinswede
@fischermans (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19014)
Yeah I take the point about music production. It's been a slow progression from my brain to piano jingle, to phone recording and hopefully to proper recording in future when I learn how.
@yodasdad I really appreciate your advice on production tools. I think I'll give Reaper a go, pretty decent price for a full DAW. Any suggestions on what mic to buy?
@Skub (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20061) you're spot on, I live in crowded London town so can't really let rip with the vocals...
@pompeyjazz (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20269) @paulyx yeah get told I'm really wordy a lot, some say it's good others not. When I try cutting down the word count though my songs lose their zing...
@adamfarr (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20124) I really appreciate that. The lyrics just come out, I don't really have a structure in mind. With this one, I just needed to chuck out some strong imagery to convey the contradictory feelings that come with love.
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Thumbs up for Reaper
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@ The Portrait Piano The chord progression in the chorus is exceptionally good. A new recording in a digital audio workstation would lift this to another level. It's such a beautiful gift to write a song of love for anyone!
Paul
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@The Portrait Piano (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20602) I would suggest this advice given by @Boydie (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18510) on the recording forum is still a good starting point for mics.
http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=15016.msg147283#msg147283
I've used the SEx1 myself for a number of years and while I'm starting to think about upgrading, it's still a cracking mic for the price.
Yodasdad.