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Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: jacksimmons on January 03, 2019, 05:45:15 PM

Title: Continent of You
Post by: jacksimmons on January 03, 2019, 05:45:15 PM
Hey guys! Sooo I have finished recording my 80s-inspired album and will be hopefully releasing it in the next few months. This is the last song I will post from it for feedback, and its something inspired by 80s alt-rock and post-punk like the Cure. It's quite simply a love song.



Lyrics:

Try to tell me something I don't want to hear
Something that will make me want to not be near to you
You are the rain on my window
You are a smudge on my heart

You are the one I want
You are the one I need
Yeah you shut down my inhibitions
You make me feel complete

When I met you I felt like I'd just been born
Like a flower opening up to the day
I had the time of my life
Discovering the continent of you

You are the one I want
You are the one I need
Yeah you shut down my inhibitions
You make me feel complete

The city streets are just filled with you
Yeah you obscure every view
There are things that make life worth while
And you're the most important one of all

You are the one I want
You are the one I need
Yeah you shut down my inhibitions
You make me feel complete

You are the one I want
You are the one I need
Yeah you shut down my inhibitions
You make me feel complete

You are the one I want
You are the one I need
Yeah you shut down my inhibitions
You make me feel complete
Title: Re: Continent of You
Post by: shadowfax on January 03, 2019, 10:04:21 PM
Lot of nice stuff going on in this song, no probs with your production that's for sure, thought in the first half your solo vocal sounded far away
and in the second half it became a little repetitive..but a lot of pop songs are so maybe I should shut up eh!!

good work though my friend..I'm being picky but that's how we get better..

best, Kevin :)
Title: Re: Continent of You
Post by: pompeyjazz on January 03, 2019, 10:40:36 PM
You are a huge talent Jack and I admire all of the work you put into your songs and you obviously delve into back catalogues to get some ideas but this is uniquely you. If you hadn't mentioned The Cure then I would never have correlated this to them. You have a fabulous vocal range and might have to ask you to do some high end bv's for me at some stage. I could just envisage this on a Saturday night TV show about 20 years from now when I'm unlikely to be around but if I was you would have my attention.  Good luck with the album and keep us all updated on release etc etc. Top work again
Title: Re: Continent of You
Post by: Movin Flavour on January 04, 2019, 09:02:10 AM
A beautiful song Jack......this is really 80s

It does have hints of The Cure.

The la la la in the middle took me by surprise ....really love this, I think this could have been developed more.

Still loved the song though, a great listen.

Great title , clever drum ending.

(Hope this is a recent song that I'm reviewing ?)

Look forward to the album👏👏

Sandeep
Title: Re: Continent of You
Post by: Bill Saunders on January 04, 2019, 09:41:09 AM
I haven't heard anything of yours for a while now, and it's great to listen to you again.

I am personally struggling with a slightly barren spell of creativity at the moment, but when I listen to this - you make it all sound so effortless! I mean, surely anyone could write such a simple, catchy, BRILLIANT song - so easy eh? But of course, for most folk it really isn't. I really like the song, and would enjoy listening to your album when it arrives I am sure.

Makes me want to get up the stairs and write a new song right now - it's easy right? Ha ha - brilliant stuff Jack.
Title: Re: Continent of You
Post by: Neil C on January 04, 2019, 10:39:59 AM
Jack,
Love what you're doing with 4 chords.
Great bouncy energy with drums and squishy bass. And get the cure on the jangly guitars and neat solo.
But the best bit is when the synths underpin the vocals, it just lifts everything.
And then we get the the slightly mad massed vocals, and then dropped into the ending too.

Thoughts: just listening to the backing guitars in verse 2, with the echo they sound ever so slight out of synch around the 0.50 to 0.55 seconds, you may want to check it out. I really like the title but its not in the chorus so perhaps consider either 'You are' or 'Complete'?
Happy and uplifting pop, when will it be on the radio?
 :) :)
neil
 
Title: Re: Continent of You
Post by: Wicked Deeds on January 04, 2019, 01:20:24 PM
Hello Jack,

I grew up as a teenager in the 1980's.  This has embraced the spirit of that decade.  I'd say it's musically leaning towards The Associates and Altered Images though I don't hear The Cure.  I love the choir section.  That's more  in keeping with Prefab Sprout from their excellent song 'The Venus of The Soup Kitchen' I spent  a lifetime trying to escape the influence of this decade - it wasn't really thought of as cool to be 80's sounding as I embarked on my musical journey but hey, that's just musical snobbery from the musicians in my home town.  It's refreshing to hear someone who wants to set their own musical goals and embrace a genre/decade of music that they are proud to be associated with.

By the way, the title is as cool as it gets!

Well done my friend
Title: Re: Continent of You
Post by: mikek on January 04, 2019, 03:42:12 PM
I especially love the song title....i actually expected more fleshing out of that image.

One hinky part for me was this verse

"When I met you I felt like I'd just been born
Like a flower opening up to the day
I had the time of my life
Discovering the continent of you"

Based in the job you did on the rest of the song, You are capable of a better vocal performance on this verse

Its a solid tune and a decent bit of writing. Good effort.
Title: Re: Continent of You
Post by: tboswell on January 04, 2019, 03:57:07 PM
Love the production style and it evokes the 80s well for those of us that remember it!

Found the song a little repetitive for my tastes. Recycling the melody for verses and chorus did ware a bit by the end, and my brain wanders off because I think I've heard all the interesting stuff by now.

Love the breakdown with the gospel style vocals though, that was awesome, just so short! I would have made that longer.
Impressive work for sure.


Title: Re: Continent of You
Post by: mikek on January 04, 2019, 04:00:48 PM
The tune has bored a little hole in my noggin. Sir, I believe you have an earworm on your hands
Title: Re: Continent of You
Post by: Paulski on January 05, 2019, 03:23:38 AM
Hi Jack
Forgot how good you sing man - love the vox.
Very hooky melody esp the chorus.
Shame the title couldn't be in a melodic hook, but doesn't always have to be I guess.

Sure captures the care-free 80's IMO. ;D ;D
Paul
Title: Re: Continent of You
Post by: Skub on January 05, 2019, 06:00:53 PM
Yo Jack.

I read the title as 'Incontinent of you'.  :D When I read it correctly,it conjured images of 'Yo Mamma' jokes,so I can't win with this one!  ;D

The song grabs my ears from the opening bars and relentless pounds it's catchy message right until the end. Kinda reminds me of Scissor Sisters style.

Vocals are great,as always.

Big hair and big collars,it's all here!
Title: Re: Continent of You
Post by: MichaelA on January 05, 2019, 06:14:56 PM
You go for the jugular with that repetitive chorus Jack and then attack time and again relentlessly. It is very catchy indeed and I think it's modern enough not to be thought of as simply a retro tribute to the 80s.

The vocal performance is really strong and it's an all round entertaining pure pop track that will be a real winner on your album! Good work!
Title: Re: Continent of You
Post by: cowparsleyman on January 06, 2019, 09:49:43 AM
@jacksimmons (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18881) - So good to hear your woprk again Jack, nice to know the house is all sorted, and that you got your studio back together.

Really dig this song, Thought the clever use of shadowing the gtr with the Vox at the beginning, then the Strings doing that job, Yeah, as someone else said, I can hear the Associates in there, 80's for sure, the vocal thing @1:47 you could lose the acoustic gtr.

@2:23 the strings were too high masking the lead Gtr, if you can get a eBow, that might enhance the '80's feel of the Gtr in that section.

Liked the Vox coming in @2:50 that was very effective, think the drums could have faded before the Vox and left the Acapella going.

Very nice production.

You do have a knack for creating very hooky, riffs, that's worth a lot of wallop...

Good luck with the album jack.

Hope this helps

Rich

Title: Re: Continent of You
Post by: adamfarr on January 06, 2019, 12:20:22 PM
Very infectious as ever and has 80s all over. The gospelly bit really works well. I would probably say that lyrically it could be a bit more coherent - the “continent” is a cool idea and might be “explored” more maybe. Though I totally get the obsessive love idea which can also come out in different pervasive and not necessarily thematic ways!


Definitely now curious to listen to the album all through!
Title: Re: Continent of You
Post by: RealKevM on January 06, 2019, 02:50:40 PM
You're really talented dude, great song, fabulous sound and production. At the right time too with The 1975 and Pale Waves being popular. Good luck with the album :)
Title: Re: Continent of You
Post by: jacksimmons on January 08, 2019, 02:14:51 PM
@shadowfax (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20024) Thank you! Yep I agree it is incredibly repetitive but that is by design. I sort of stumbled upon that chorus tune, realised it worked through all four chords and then had it stuck in my head for weeks. with the structure of this song I wanted that chorus to be driven in to your skull almost to the point of annoyance. It's a fine line! hopefully I didn't cross it hahaha

@pompeyjazz (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20269) Thank you very much. I am aware that radio and TV and fame is a pipe dream, but it's fun to think about. I am glad you like the music. The album will be out sooner rather than later.

@Movin Flavour (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20528) I am glad the middle choir bit took you by surprise, that is what I hoped it would do. I kept it short and sweet so people would have something to go back to for a 2nd listen, plus really wanted to keep this one around the 3min mark. I actually forgot to mention in the original post that all those voices you hear in that choir section are my Dad haha. He is very good at arranging vocals.

@Neil C (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18856) this actually started off as an experiment in keeping the same four chords throughout a song but keeping a verse chorus structure which is not the way I usually write. I am glad you noticed! You may very well be correct about the guitars being out of sync. I will go back and tweak them. I confess I got a bit lazy with this one and began to copy and paste. It will be on the radio in my dreams in a few months time.

@Bill Saunders (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18525) That's such a lovely reply Bill. I am glad I have inspired you and hope you break out of your writer's block soon. It comes in waves! I have found myself in a dry spell before now and realised there is no point fighting it. You just have to ride the wave and when the time is right you will write again. If there is one thing I have learned it's that writing a catchy song is the HARDEST thing about writing a song.

@Wicked Deeds (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19231) Yeah the 80s has gone through a tough time but I think the revival is happening now. It's definitely cool again among my generation to listen to 80s music. I have not listened to Prefab Sprout much so will have to give them a go.

@mikek (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20884) Yep you are right about my vocals in the second verse. I found it surprisingly hard to sing actually and was trying to record with all the noise restraints that come with living in a house of other people. I have moved out now though and can make all the noise I want so will have another pop at it. I LOVE that you have had this stuck in your head. That was almost my only intention of this piece. Thanks.

@tboswell (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20223) It is against my better nature to recycle a tune for a middle 8 and chorus but I did it here to pummel you with that hook. I know it can begin to wear thin though haha. Glad you liked the tune

@Paulski (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19241) Thank you very much. Hopefully you will be humming this. With regards to the title, I needed something memorable and that was the phrase from the lyrics that jumped out of me. I am turned off by titles that are forgettable and all the chorus lyrics are simple and recycled phrases haha

@Skub (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20061) Thanks for that, mate, now Incontinent of You is all I am ever going to think of when I see this song title hahaha. Thank you for the kind words.

@MichaelA (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21274) THANK YOU :D

@cowparsleyman (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21308) Thanks for the mixing advice it is very handy. I think you are right about the drums and I will go back and fix that. @2.23 are you referring to the main synth line being too loud? And I must ask: what is an eBow? I will also take the acoustic guitar out of the a capella section and see how that sounds because I think you could be on to something there.

@adamfarr (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20124) Thank you for your feedback! I agree it isn't a particularly coherent vocal piece. The lyrics were written incredibly quickly so that might have something to do it. Something about love that just makes you want to spill on to a page though, right?

@RealKevM (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21324) Cheers Kev.

Thank you everyone for listening. I really appreciate it. Great advice all round.