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Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: MichaelA on January 01, 2019, 10:45:31 AM

Title: 'Lopsided Love'
Post by: MichaelA on January 01, 2019, 10:45:31 AM
Happy New Year all. Well I did manage to make a bit of time myself between Christmas and New Year to write this one, especially inspired by one or two festive spats going on between couples in our social and family circle. All top entertainment of course, and great ammunition for songwriting!  ;D

So...a song about the fine line between love and hate and everything in between! From my Quirky Workshop... (


Lopsided Love

We blank each other out all week
Leave post-it notes, but never speak
It's OK
It's our way
You make me a mug of tea
A silent truce to say sorry
It's OK
I won the day

The fine line between love and hate
Don't think is very straight
Oh wobbly
That’s what it is

You say you think I love to hate
Why must you overstate?
Oh probably
You’re just in a tizz

It is quite extraordinary
Contrary and strange
Oh very
Oh la la la
Ooh-wah it's our
Lopsided love
…Lopsided love

The washing machine shrunk my clothes
Your little joke, well I suppose
This is love
Quite unique
Your favourite novel superglued
Its pages stuck, you called me rude
We dance then
Cheek to cheek

The dishes hurled across the room
Just mean your passion grows
Oh please
Improve your aim

Down the sink goes your perfume
Now my love really shows
Oh please
Don't stop this game


She loves me, she loves me not
She loves me, she loves me not
She loves me
If apathetically
‘Cos she deserted me, unsympathetically
Now suddenly
Mystified, I am

The properties of love and hate
So hard to isolate
Oh no
A mystery

Only pain can educate
You in the shades of love and hate
Oh no
You're then history

It was quite extraordinary
Contrary and strange
Oh very
Oh la la la
Ooh-wah, our lost
Lopsided love
…Lopsided love
Title: Re: 'Lopsided Love'
Post by: PaulAds on January 01, 2019, 10:56:21 AM
Enjoyed this a lot...particularly in how you use the different line lengths to vary and stop-start the narrative. It show a super almost comedy-timing thing which is pretty uncommon and can't be easy to do as well as this. Lyrics are excellent, of course...they'd have to be for you to even think about delivering them like this. Although its so good, it doesn't sound as if you had to think about the delivery much. That's what I was perhaps most impressed by.

Having said all of that...the music is so good, it almost seemed a shame to use it in a song that will perhaps be taken less seriously because of its brilliant light-hearted nature. It's a tough call. Songs which make people smile so often get labelled as "novelty" songs which is a shame...this has all the necessary chops to be considered a belter in terms of both words and music.

Title: Re: 'Lopsided Love'
Post by: MonnoDB on January 01, 2019, 01:47:46 PM
Hey! Another quirky cracker from you @MichaelA (;u=21274) - quite extraordinary how you continue to knock these out.. The lyrics are fab. Some of my favourite from you I must say... of course this one is a little sad too - I can't believe she left you! Nice work again, sir! K
Title: Re: 'Lopsided Love'
Post by: Viscount Cramer & His Orchestra on January 01, 2019, 03:04:31 PM
Wonderfully woven lyric Michael...some really neat lines and rhymes here.

A masterful vocal interpretation too...great delivery.

Can't imagine how you knocked it up between Christmas and the New week...I'm lucky to get mine done in a year at the moment. It might be something to do with my indecisive nature, or it might not!

Nicely done.
Title: Re: 'Lopsided Love'
Post by: redrhodie on January 01, 2019, 05:23:17 PM
I like this a lot. You're lyrics always make me smile. Love the wobbly synths and background vocals. Lead vocals are perfect. Great one!

Title: Re: 'Lopsided Love'
Post by: shadowfax on January 01, 2019, 05:37:34 PM
Brilliant songwriting my friend..just brilliant, not a critique in sight :) :)
Title: Re: 'Lopsided Love'
Post by: Binladeda on January 01, 2019, 06:02:00 PM


 Enjoyed this. Nice Piano and arrangement.  Took a few secs to get into the vox.
 But once I was there, I was captivated.  It's a definite 'grower'.
 Especially liked the harmonies and sighs  ;D ;D .  You have style ;D ;D


Title: Re: 'Lopsided Love'
Post by: pompeyjazz on January 01, 2019, 10:28:27 PM
This is clever writing @MichaelA (;u=21274) .I loved the quirky fit of the vocals to the music. It's like a psychedelic Xmas experience where someone has substituted the Xmas pudding sixpence for a tab of acid. Thank ferk that I wont have to hear any more songs with sleigh bells until at least next September  ;D Brilliant that you wrote a song over that period. I did exactly the same with my latest. Initial idea on Boxing day morning and finished on 28th. Good on you Michael. You are knocking out some fabulous songs  :)
Title: Re: 'Lopsided Love'
Post by: PaulyX on January 02, 2019, 08:14:37 AM
Yep great lyrics ... I loved the ‘wobbly’ / ‘probably’ rhyme in particular.
It’s one of those ‘kitchen sink’ tunes about everyday stuff we can all relate to.
Big thumbs up.
Title: Re: 'Lopsided Love'
Post by: MichaelA on January 02, 2019, 12:47:16 PM
Thanks for all the positive comments folks, it's a good start to the New Year for me to receive such warm feedback!  ;D

@PaulAds (;u=20253) , thanks for the encouragement. Yeah I know making people smile in songs is risky, but I reckon that's mainly because we have all heard a lot of really bad comedy songs over the years. But mainly I only do this as a hobby for my own enjoyment, so if I strike a chord with a few appreciative listeners, then that is good enough. Good point though, thanks!

Yes @MonnoDB (;u=19820) , it was so sad she left me. But it is only a song you know, and not REAL LIFE!  ;D  ;D  ;D Glad you like these lyrics though, as they were fun to write!

Hi @Viscount Cramer & His Orchestra , well I have to admit I did have the piano track down prior to the Christmas hols! So I wasn't that quick! But don't you find some songs just come together quickly and others seem to take forever! Well that's how it is with me. Thanks for the listen ;)

@shadowfax (;u=20024) , thanks so much, very kind words.

Hello Lynn @redrhodie (;u=21171) nice of you to have a listen. Glad I have made you smile again with my lyrics, and I appreciate that comment on the vocals!  ;D

Hi @Binladeda (;u=18620) , thanks and Happy New Year to you as well. Thanks for saying I have style, wow! Although I mentioned this to my wife and she just laughed for some reason!

@pompeyjazz (;u=20269) , thanks for the general thumbs up! I don't think I will ever become as prolific as you however, you are just on songwriting speed!  ;D

Hi @PaulyX (;u=21034) , thanks for mentioning the 'wobbly' rhyme as it is one of my favourites from all my songs. 'Wobbly' is just a great word, isn't it? One which should have been used in far more songs down the years in my view! Cheers for the listen!  ;D

Title: Re: 'Lopsided Love'
Post by: Movin Flavour on January 04, 2019, 08:09:59 AM
A lovely song, love the lyrics....especially the she loves me loves me not towards the end.

I always love piano lyrics and this is no exceptions, I really like the electric organ sound in the background....

Great singing , has hints of Blur.

Enjoyed this

Title: Re: 'Lopsided Love'
Post by: Paulski on January 05, 2019, 03:15:11 AM
Hi Michael

Now that is a hook to behold!
Unique and respected  ;D
Lovely song - nice melody lines and harmonies.
And that wobbly synth(?) fit perfectly.
I listened hard and I can't find a nit to pick.

Really enjoyed it
Title: Re: 'Lopsided Love'
Post by: Skub on January 05, 2019, 05:41:29 PM
Yo Michael.

A charming song with very clever use of wordplay.

Interesting and entertaining,also a little unconventional.

Loved how you delivered the song vocally too.  8)
Title: Re: 'Lopsided Love'
Post by: MichaelA on January 06, 2019, 11:59:21 AM
Hey there @Movin Flavour (;u=20528), @Skub (;u=20061) and @paulski, I'm glad you enjoyed this. Thanks for the comments, all noted, and the listen.

Cheers!  ;D
Title: Re: 'Lopsided Love'
Post by: adamfarr on January 06, 2019, 12:29:31 PM
Love having you here, partly as I may not be the most “quirky” one around any more!

So glad you don’t compromise in the name of correctness or commercialism. For me it’s a complete package - the music and production are on a par with the standout lyrics. The superglue line really stuck with me (ahem) - do people really do that?! Evil...
Title: Re: 'Lopsided Love'
Post by: RealKevM on January 06, 2019, 02:52:43 PM
Creative lyrics that are simply amazing.
Title: Re: 'Lopsided Love'
Post by: fischermans on January 08, 2019, 06:32:46 AM
Very, very good songwriting here. Well sung great instrumentation and cracker lyrics. Love it as it is. Nothing to criticise.
Congrats mate
Title: Re: 'Lopsided Love'
Post by: tboswell on January 08, 2019, 11:18:00 AM
Really good listen, melodic and thoughtful. Nice to hear love songs with some of the real complexity of real life in them.
Lots of nice details in the lyrics.
Great stuff!
Title: Re: 'Lopsided Love'
Post by: mikek on January 08, 2019, 04:59:10 PM
I really enjoyed this. Its lovely
Title: Re: 'Lopsided Love'
Post by: cowparsleyman on January 09, 2019, 12:38:10 PM
@MichaelA (;u=21274) - Good work Michael, I really loved the lyrics, really creative work. production sounds good to me.

Title: Re: 'Lopsided Love'
Post by: MichaelA on January 10, 2019, 12:47:20 PM
Thanks to all who commented, much appreciated.

@adamfarr (;u=20124), well yes the super-glue thing is very big in our house from time to time. There's no need to glue the entire novel, just the last page so it cannot be read!  ;D Thanks for stopping by!

@mikek (;u=20884)  , glad you liked it! Thanks.

@RealKevM (;u=21324) , @fischermans (;u=19014) , @tboswell (;u=20223) and @cowparsleyman (;u=21308) , thanks and glad you all appreciated the lyrics. Good ideas do not necessarily come easy, but this one was easy to write once I got into it, which made me think it could be one of my better lyrical offereings! Cheers!

Title: Re: 'Lopsided Love'
Post by: montydog on January 10, 2019, 03:16:45 PM
Hi Michael,

Extraordinary lyrics which are so unconventional and witty. I love the arch sarcasm and dry sense of humour of your writing which is matched by the almost disdainful way you deliver the lyrics. Some lovely, clever touches which are unexpected and maintain interest throughout. Mature and adult themes dealt with via a light touch - not an easy thing to pull off.