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Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: pompeyjazz on January 01, 2019, 08:37:42 AM
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A very Happy New Year to all of you on the forum :)
Mr Fogg is a fictional character who lives in a fantasy land that bears no resemblance to the real world.
Can you tell us what's for dinner Mr Fogg ?
Can you tell us what delights are on the hob ?
Spaghetti hoops and oven chips really make me lick my lips
I even saved a little for the dog
Do you laugh aloud when eating with your friends ?
With your Chateaubriand steak extremely rare
Oh I wish I had a cartridge to serve you with your partridge
We'll donate the waste and eat it from the bins
These things they never really matter
It's just endless chatter, chatter, chatter – Oh
Do you really want to starve us Mr Fogg ?
As you baffle us with educated smog
You find it hard to hide us so conquer and divide us
Another step towards your perfect job
Can you tell us what's for dinner Mr Fogg ? Oh no
(c) Bradley – 2018
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What a belter :)
And a great listen to start my new year.
Super melody and vocal with a brilliant Lennon-inspired vibe that the man himself would have been proud of. The lyrics are great...witty and cutting with a playful kick in the knackers for the ghastly, cynical, manipulative, self-serving swamp lizard (c)ruling classes.
Some people write stuff that's so good that it makes me feel like I'm wasting my time, but you write stuff that is so good it makes me feel like there's nothing better to do with your time than writing some songs.
You're quite rightly massively respected around the forum...but I still don't feel you get the credit you deserve.
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You've recreated a bit of a Beatles vibe here haven't you @pompeyjazz (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20269) , circa Sgt Peppers era? Nice bit of muscle to the track but a very playful musical mood all the same and interesting offbeat lyrics you seem to knock out so well. The mid break bit certainly adds a cool contrast and I like that 'chatter' vocal treatment.
Entertaining start to the New year from you sir!
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Yes very Beatley though I didn't think of them first.....something sixties and English...the Move perhaps. Lyrically hits that sort of thing too.
Love the breakdown.
You are productive John! How do you manage to get so much done. More to the point how do you manage to keep so motivated without losing heart!
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Whato @pompeyjazz (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20269) - i love this track really clever and well executed, and a lot of work!!
My only idea was to have a mcCartney type piano, you have all the right abbey road plugins to get that sound, just drop an electric guitar and make space for the Lady Madonna-esque joanna,... just an idea.
One of your best, do you use track spacer?
Regards
Rich
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John,
Lots to like here. I started to read the lyrics and heard the opening and though of Madness or even the Kinks. Then the musics kicked in and you've got your Lennon on. :-)
Sharp lyrics, liking the tinkling guitar, and the vocals just right.
I think it would be a real crowd pleaser live.
Put a big :) on my face. Thanks a lot for sharing.
:)
Neil
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Love the relaxed pace of this @pompeyjazz (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20269) - or lazy in a good way :).. I completely agree with the Sgt Peppers refs - hit me immediately. I just love the whacky lyrics.. Setting the scene for some more quality stuff from you in 2019! Happy New Year to you!
K
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Yo pomps.
Ya old anarchist! :D
You do realise when Mister Mees-Rogg is the boss of all you commie types,he'll have oiks such as thee polishing his brass? And you'll jolly well like it. :o
The opening bars were very Floyd,then it went full pomps,who we now know invented the Beatles. :)
Great stuff John,you are never afraid to let your influences show,yet you are endlessly inventive in both topic and musical content. A powerhouse,you are man. 8)
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Ok all, I guess I need to let you know a bit more about the background to this one. About six months ago I'd watched and read a few (more) things about The fans, I had watched the C4 film about how the Imagine album was recorded. I started pissing about with a Beatles cover version as I was interested in how Lennon did his vocals and then @PaulAds (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20253) did a version of it Live with pink lights and everything :) That inspired me to work on the cover again to see if I could use those techniques
Listen to You're Gonna Lose That Girl (Beatles Cover) by pompeyjazz #np on #SoundCloud
https://soundcloud.com/pompeyjazz/ygltg/s-fV2J8
Then on Boxing day morning I got this JRM lyric feel and a couple of walks later I was good to go. I actually can only devote 1 hour a day to recording but got this one done and dusted in about 3 hours. Motivation wise, I'm kicked every day but dust myself down the next morning and always get inspired by something
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As others said it reminds on the beatles or JL what could be good or bad. This is only your decision. Was a pleasure to listen too. Nice work mate.
Alexander
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Superb track John.
Others have said it, but I was also put in mind of ‘Being for the Benefit of Mr Kite’, although it’s by no means a rip-off. Lovely production touches, especially on your voice. And the chord sequence is great - weirdly sinister, which fits the subject matter. One of your best, which is saying something. Astonishing you can crank stuff like this out, by yourself, in 3 hours. Not that I’m jealous or anything... >:(
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John mate ;D what are you on? ;D and can I have some? ;D ;D
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Hi I thought Beatles as soon as I heard it / it might be a grower , good fun write ,
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Hi John,
I'm also getting the Beatles vibe, especially when the chorus comes after 2 minutes and like the Beatles you fuse two different songs together....very clever.
Great Lyrics John excellent playing ....of all those instruments.
For the benefit of @pompeyjazz (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20269) this is excellent
Love it (FYI my son is dancing in the background)
Sandeep
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I'm getting the Lennon vibe from this, your voice certainly has a touch of John about it.
Love the lyric (if I am reading between the lines right ;)). Seems like the situation in the UK is making the political songs seep out a bit. I'm expressing myself that way too at the mo.
Musically the production is really effective, especially on those vocals. I found the pace a little slow, felt it needed to be a touch faster, so the syllables come out intact without being to separated. I think you could speed it up and still get the lazy behind the beat(les) vibe.
Super work as always!
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Hey John
great work here - love the fab 4 sound and the vox and harmonies some of your best work IMHO.
the arrangement is well thought out too.
It was 20 years ago today...
Prob more like 50 ;D
keep 'em coming mr. lennon. ;D ;D
Paul
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Thanks for all of the feedback guys, invaluable as ever
@PaulAds (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20253) Thanks Paul - I tried to make the lyrics cutting yet open to interpretation. Glad you liked my Fab's experiment ;)
@MichaelA (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21274) - Yes, I was aiming for the sound of that era
@Viscount Cramer & His Orchestra Cheers Ian - The Move, what a great writer Roy Wood is. I don't really know how I'm so productive tbh - Motivated, not always ;)
@cowparsleyman (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21308) Thanks Rich - Actually there is a piano in there, it's probably buried in the mix a bit. Maybe a bit of EQ will resolve. I don't use track spacer, I'll have to look it up to see what it is ;D
@Neil C (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18856) Cheers Neil - It was an experiment vocal wise to replicate the Lennon technique ;D
@MonnoDB (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19820) Thank you Karen, I'm glad you enjoyed it
@Skub (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20061) Cheers Davy - Mister Mees-Rogg will probably be rotting in the tower and the comrades will have stolen all of his brass and melted it down ;D ;D
@fischermans (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19014) Thanks Alex, review much appreciated
@PaulyX (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21034) - Good to see you around again Paul. What a huge compliment. I suppose I could take more time on each song but I seem to get to a point where messing about with it seems to lose some of the original feel and I've usually got some other idea brewing :)
@shadowfax (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20024) - Hey - Cheers Kev - I'll get you the recipe :)
@Orange Mississippi (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22290) - Thanks for the listen - Much appreciated
@Movin Flavor - Hay Sandeep, glad you liked it and the little fellah enjoyed his dance
@Paulski (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19241) - Gee, thanks Paul, a huge compliment coming from you
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@pompeyjazz (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20269) - consider the Lennon Vox nailed!
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Hey John - ‘Happy’ New Year! Is Mr Fogg a distant relation of Mean Mr Mustard? Brilliant satire here...
I actually bumped into the real JRM this Summer as he was having selfies taken with fans saying what a good job he was doing... Mind you we were going into a sports ground and some of the security guards looked like they were relishing the prospect of giving him a good ‘pat down’...
You seem to get songs recorded and published in the time that I can get a verse on paper... more power to your arm.
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Definitely a The Beatles vibe, love the lyrics. Tremendous as always :)
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Lucy in the Sky? Thats where it takes me. I could like this if the vocals werent so affected. I find that aspect of the production very distracting. Good song though.
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I think my comment about the affected vocal may sound a bit snippy. Sorry about that. I need to try and look for more diplomatic words when providing feedback.
I will try again... Its fine if thatis what you are after but its just not my thing. When I hear a vocal trratment like that it gives me the impression that someone is trying to cover up some aspect of their tone that they are not comfortable with. I used to try and hide my voice or make it sound another way but it just doesnt go over. Embrace your voice and belt it out as best you can. That's my nickles worth.
I do like the song.
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Some more thanks.....
@tboswell (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20223) Tom, I Think you're right about more issue related songs being out there. See what you mean about the pace. Might have to speed it up slightly
@adamfarr (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20124) Thanks Adam, the "pat down" would have been interesting to witness. What was the sporting event, croquet or polo :-)
@RealKevM (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21324) Cheers Kev, always appreciate your support
@mikek (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20884) No offence taken Mike, that's what this place is all about. I've actually just checked to see what FX I used on the vocals. I did use some ADT and Izotopye vinyl with a 1960's setting. The other thing that I did do was to sing (nearly) identical vocal tracks as this was really born out of an experiment to see how Lennon got his vocal sound. I'm not usually up for vocal FX but horses for courses and I think sometimes they can be used really effectively. If you check out some of my other stuff you'll see that this one is an exception rather than something that I usually do. Anyway, I'm glad that you like the song
Thanks you all once again :-)
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In my defence, it was cricket...
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I thought that it was probably Cricket @adamfarr (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20124) but couldn't resist ;D
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Hi John,
Sounds like something from The White Album which is a very good thing indeed. Such clever, funny and biting (sorry!) lyrics combined with an inspired production which sounds like a professional job to me. I think this is the best thing I've heard from you. God, I wish I could make songs sound as good as this. Eccentric, English and very original. Also a little bit of early Pink Floyd (Bike?)
Wonderful stuff
M
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It's the Beatles Jim, but not as we know it..
This is what I imagine the Fab 4 would have sounded like in the 70's if they had been a 5 piece, with Pompeyjazz added to the line up.
'Oh I wish I had a cartridge to serve you with your partridge' - Class!
Top stuff Pompey, you've excelled yourself here.
Yodasdad.