The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: fischermans on December 28, 2018, 09:14:55 PM
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It's a song about the end of a relationship.
To thank god
1) Long time ago you walked hand in hand
And it seemed your love never ends
Divided in two now it’s only you
It’s only you it’s only you
2) Sometimes you dreaming of a better time
You never asked here: “Will you be mine?”
After she is gone you noticed some things went wrong
Some things went wrong some things went wrong.
Chorus: Now it’s to late no way back
time didn’t tell how to protect from hell
Now it’s too late now it’s too late
3) Out in the dark you are alone
Your eyes filled with tears
Your heart becomes stone
No helping hand in this foreign land
Foreign land foreign land
4) Another day and another year
without you but memories are clear
lot’s of broken dreams nothing is what it seems
nothing is what it seems nothing is what it seems
Chorus: Now it’s too late no way back
time didn’t tell how to protect from hell
Now it’s too late now it’s too late
Now it’s too late now it’s too late
Now it’s too late to thank god.
© Voice, Words, Guitar and arrangement Alexander Fisch aka ><(((°> fischermans
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I love your style man and I don't give a fig about the production side of things as I think your songs just portray a lovely long lost innocence that is often lost in whirls of production. Bravo. I loved it :)
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Cool song, man. Has bags of charm.
I love how it's not overblown. Songs can sound complete and real without being buffed and polished and having mascara slapped all over them, eyebrows coloured in and delivered with a trout-pout. In fact, this goes to show that they can have much more impact this way.
A red pill. I loved it.
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@fischermans (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19014) -
(listened on iphone earbuds on a laptop)
As @pompeyjazz (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20269) says no issues with the hissing etc. so many plugins try to re create it hoho...
lovely guitar sound, nice lead vocal. I think I'd ditch the twangy high pitched mandolin thing over to one side, to me it distracted from the meat and veg of the song.
Could do with a bridge, or introduce a bunch of BVox on the 'now it's too late'. It sounds a bit linear, there's no dynamic contrast, imagine a classical piece, there's so many dynamic instructions like crescendo, diminuendo etc. to make the piece look like a mountain range (sonically).
just an idea, hope it helps
Rich
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A song that breaks your heart...I think it could be trimmed even more by removing the distracting twiddly guitar in the left channel, the song doesn't need it..
best, Kevin :)
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A great tune.
Guitars compliment the voices so well....like this style.
An enjoyable listen.
Sandeep
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Hey @fischermans (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19014) - I think charming is the perfect word for you and your music. This has a lovely honesty to it. I always love your guitar playing and so do I here - I tend to agree though that the higher part in the left ear is not required and distracts from the lovely vocal and guitar. Sad song, delivered very well...
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Perfect lyrics, the delivery is sublime and really heartfelt. Top notch.
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@pompeyjazz (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20269) Wow thank you sooooo much.
@PaulAds (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20253) Thank you so much. Mades me real happy.
@cowparsleyman (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21308) Thank you Rich but i think it takes years to get me on a high producing standard. ;D
@shadowfax (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20024) Thank you Kevin, I promise the next song is without a twiddling guitar in the left channel. ;)
@Movin Flavour (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20528) Thank you so much Sandeep
@MonnoDB (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19820) Thank you Karen. To call my music charming is a great compliment.
@RealKevM (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21324) You definitely made my day sir. Thanks for that.
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Hi @fischermans (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19014) - your songs is really good, production quality comes wth time and practice, this forum is here to help you if we can, maybe just give the ideas a try and see if you think it improves the song, nothing to lose.
Simple arrangement decisions can make a song much better even before anyone has started the sound production, getting that right first saves an awful lot of work later on
Hope it helps
Rich
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I really like this -very well sung , very emotive- I couldn’t stop listening , very powerful xxx
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Alex,
Good to have you back here. Really refined your songwriting and recording. You've just kept the simplicity but sound so much more confident, both in your playing and singing.
Good work
:)
neil
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Very evocative song, really transmits the emotion of the theme.
I do always like your guitar sounds - the interplay between the two is really unique and atmospheric. I may have said this before but probably the chorus could do with some more differentiation from the verses and the second (twiddly) guitar - though of course it's a key part of your original sound - being used for emphasis rather than all through.
But overall the song is very effective - the music and pace tell the story almost as much as the words.
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Really lovely stuff, sounds like a found tape from the 60s that someone like Bert Jansch recorded in someone kitchen.
Delicate and understated and all the better for it.
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I could hear our own Rightly doing this song. Very individualistic in composition and delivery.
The song is strong and it stands alone without the need for anything else.
I'd concur with Kev and at least drop the other guitar out some of the time.
Very enjoyable and honest work.
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@cowparsleyman (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21308)
Hello Rich for sure I need a lot of further practice. ;) Thanks for listening.
@Orange Mississippi (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22290)
Thank you very much for your friendly words.
@Neil C (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18856)
Thank you Neil.
@adamfarr (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20124)
Thank you so much.
@tboswell (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20223)
Wow thank you mate.
@Skub (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20061)
Thanks so much. Will listen again with and without the second guitar.
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Hi Alex,
Lovely song as ever from you. Beautifully played and sung - simple but effective and intimate. A good song should shine without a kitchen sink arrangement as you prove over and over again. I didn't like the mandolin thingy in the left channel - that detracted from my listening pleasure. Otherwise a lovely thing indeed.
M
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@montydog (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18653) Alan thank you so much for listening and for your kind words
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Hey Fish ;D
Nice to hear your distinctive voice and style again ;D ;D
I would agree with what's already been said regarding the guitars in the mix.
It's an enchanting little song. Bags of charm, delivered with feeling and
emotion. Love the way the guitar echoes the melancholy of the vocal...a
perfect match ;D ;D
Lovely song old friend ;D ;D
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I'm not much of a 1+1 guy but this one worked very well for me. Think I disagree with some of the others regarding the mandolin(?), the fact that it's always there and that the guitar plays the same pattern (well, more or less) throughout gives it almost hypnotic qualities. My only suggestion would be to add something playing on the 1. The guitar pattern has the bass not there and if that could be reinforced just slightly (a kick, tom or something, not too up front, just a touch) I think the 'mode' would be even better.
Good one in any case!
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@Binladeda (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18620) Thank you Bin, good to see you too. ;)
@Jambrains (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19875) Thank you mate, makes my day. :D