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Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: PopTodd on December 24, 2018, 06:49:37 PM

Title: It's been 25 years since my first date with my wife
Post by: PopTodd on December 24, 2018, 06:49:37 PM

In honor of said anniversary, here is a song that I wrote about our courtship:
"Come On, Let's Go (https://hoponpop.bandcamp.com/track/come-on-lets-go)

Were we lonely?
I forget
But I can't forget the way you looked
The night that we first met
It was Tuesday
It was late
But not too late to play the flirt
Or play the hand of fate

A smile hello
Come on, let’s go
The bar’s about to close
“Here’s a pen,
“I’ll call you when…”

Were we happy?
I forget
But I can't forget the words you said
When you said it should end
I was happy
What did you expect?
But I didn’t expect the way I felt
When you stayed in my head

The urge to phone
Come on, let’s go
The show’s about to start
“Hey, why not?,
Another shot…

As much as things were meant to be
This was meant to be
As much as this was meant to be
Things were meant to be
As much as things were meant to be
You were meant for me
As much as you were meant for me…

Now where are we?
How could I forget?
We’re on the road, come on, let’s go…

©2007 Todd Leiter-Weintraub

Title: Re: It's been 25 years since my first date with my wife
Post by: cowparsleyman on December 24, 2018, 07:49:22 PM

Dear @PopTodd (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19771) - Just love this, superb stuff, I dig the title too,

I wish you lovely cuddles over Christmas.

Rich

Title: Re: It's been 25 years since my first date with my wife
Post by: PopTodd on December 25, 2018, 01:44:48 AM

Thank you so much, Rich!
And a Merry Christmas to you and yours, too!

Title: Re: It's been 25 years since my first date with my wife
Post by: crystalsuzy on December 25, 2018, 04:06:47 AM

Man, if someone wrote a song like this for my anniversary, I'd be over the moon  :-*
Very beautiful melody and lyrics, and very beautifully sung and produced :)

Title: Re: It's been 25 years since my first date with my wife
Post by: PopTodd on December 25, 2018, 03:01:16 PM

Thanks so much, Suzy.
Although, I wrote the song many years ago. Just posting it in honor of the anniversary.
But yeah, it is about me and my wife and the beginning of our relationship.
I appreciate you taking the time to listen to it. And, Merry Christmas to you and yours!

Title: Re: It's been 25 years since my first date with my wife
Post by: MonnoDB on December 26, 2018, 06:17:11 PM

@PopTodd (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19771) What a sweet song and a lovely idea to write a song for your wife! Enjoyed the listen immensely :-)

Title: Re: It's been 25 years since my first date with my wife
Post by: PopTodd on December 26, 2018, 06:45:33 PM

Thanks so much Monno!

Title: Re: It's been 25 years since my first date with my wife
Post by: fischermans on December 27, 2018, 06:24:16 AM

Very lovely song, well sung and played and recorded. Nothing to criticise.
Well done Alexander

Title: Re: It's been 25 years since my first date with my wife
Post by: PopTodd on December 27, 2018, 12:17:28 PM

Thanks, fischermans!

Title: Re: It's been 25 years since my first date with my wife
Post by: Mikey on December 27, 2018, 04:49:41 PM

Hi @PopTodd (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19771)

Nicely sentimental song, well played with a lovely vocal,I like the use of the strings to give it body, it all works very well and sounds great.

Cheers, Mikey

Title: Re: It's been 25 years since my first date with my wife
Post by: PopTodd on December 27, 2018, 04:56:32 PM

Thanks so much, Mikey!

Title: Re: It's been 25 years since my first date with my wife
Post by: Movin Flavour on January 01, 2019, 01:14:08 AM

A beautiful ballad, with sentimental moving lyrics.

Love those guitars.

A great listen, enjoyed this one.

Sandeep

Title: Re: It's been 25 years since my first date with my wife
Post by: PopTodd on January 01, 2019, 02:57:20 AM

Thanks so much, Sandeep!

Title: Re: It's been 25 years since my first date with my wife
Post by: MichaelA on January 01, 2019, 10:27:07 AM

It's got a bit of an epic narrative feel to it this, some of these dipping aspects to the melody really tug on the old heart strings.

Really well thought out arrangement and lovely lyrics striking the right balance between a simple statement of love and a pinch of sentimentality.

Lovely song, well done.

Title: Re: It's been 25 years since my first date with my wife
Post by: Neil C on January 04, 2019, 10:12:37 AM

I'm liking this a lot, with its circular piano led chord sequences and empathetic backing and interesting lyrics.
good work you old romantic
 :)
neil

Title: Re: It's been 25 years since my first date with my wife
Post by: Skub on January 07, 2019, 06:39:24 PM

Yo Pops.

A lovely song man. Sensitive and romantic without being cheesy. That's coming from someone who hates the tired old subject of 'Love'. I prefer angst and bitterness!  :D

A fine listen man.

Title: Re: It's been 25 years since my first date with my wife
Post by: adamfarr on January 08, 2019, 06:24:52 AM

If Father John Misty had a heart this is what he’d be doing! The piano in particular really gives this one a classic but modern feel. Really original lyrical take on the scene - thanks for letting us be there with you.

Title: Re: It's been 25 years since my first date with my wife
Post by: tboswell on January 08, 2019, 11:05:35 AM

Very nice work, touched this sensitive old man's heart.

Beautiful detail in the lyric too, making it feel real and have real impact.

Thanks for sharing  :)

Title: Re: It's been 25 years since my first date with my wife
Post by: PopTodd on January 08, 2019, 12:39:29 PM

Thanks for listening, folks!
Really glad that you liked it!

Title: Re: It's been 25 years since my first date with my wife
Post by: montydog on January 10, 2019, 12:50:56 PM

Hi,

This is rather beautiful. The instrumentation is perfect for the sentiment of the song. Your vocal is very nice but maybe a little low in the mix. This reminds me a little of Dean Friedman which is obviously a good thing. Clever lyrics which sound genuine and refreshingly free from cliche. Gorgeous pedal steel lends that lovely yearning quality which is exactly right for the song. I enjoyed this very much indeed.

M

Title: Re: It's been 25 years since my first date with my wife
Post by: PopTodd on January 10, 2019, 01:27:51 PM

Thank you so much, Monty!
I'll have to look up Dean Friedman. Not sure who he is.
Really appreciate it.

Title: Re: It's been 25 years since my first date with my wife
Post by: Yodasdad on January 13, 2019, 01:46:13 PM

I hate you!........that hook!

There's some beautiful moments in this song but for me it is all about the 'I forget' (and substituted lyrics)...what a hook...it really is good, particularly when the harmonies and pedal steel etc all blend to reinforce it. Why couldn't I have written that?!

Well crafted and restrained song.

Anyway, as I said at the beginning...

Yodasdad.