The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: pompeyjazz on November 27, 2018, 10:42:33 AM
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It's back to basics for me after my last little experiment with samples and synths.
I just fancied doing something a bit raw and rocky so I hope this one captures that essence :)
Vulture Time
Life is a bowl of cherries
Unless you've got none to eat
Grab it, nab it, pinch it, grab it
If you want ti get that treat
Eyes are upon you
In case you can't stand the heat
He who stays there the longest
Gets the most to eat
Oh it's vulture time
Vulture Time
It's vulture time
Vulture time
They pick your flesh right off your bones
And move onto someone else
Funny these days better watch your back
Victims come on help yourself
Better stay focussed
Keep it in time
Fifty sets of eyes are upon you and...
Boy, you're the next in line
Oh it's vulture time
Vulture Time
It's vulture time
Vulture time
(c) Bradley – 2018
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Your lyrics are a fine portrait of our actual society.... At least I think so.
Good intro... a little punk?
You are telling a sad story with a sardonic voice, and that is what I think you wanted to convey, the irony and the sardonic of what you describe.
I liked the FX that has the voice at 2.15
You always surprise me!!
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Thanks @moraamarolaloba (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21233) :)
You summed it up perfectly. That's exactly what I was trying to achieve.
I'm glad I surprised you as well :)
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Mean as mustard.
A sneering and searing slap in the face of our self-centered, self-censoring society. Where most of the rewards seem to go the most greedy and unscrupulous. Other opinions are available...but that's mine.
Early doors, it reminded me a lot of sham 69...there is a great, sort of brutal feel to it.
Great as always. PJ :)
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Yes! Rockin out with my sock out! I love how you aren't always genre specific, real talent.
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Glad you said sock @RealKevM (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21324) ;D
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Hi John
Raucous rock and bordering on punk/metal at times - I can well imagine one of my all time heroes Lemmy doing this justice - I can see him craning his neck backwards at the mic, Rickenbacker in hand...
The two voices running side by side work really well - and they're bloody angry! The drums got my attention - I think you were trying something new with the rhythm there, but couldn't quite work it out.
Always a pleasure listening to your output and this one is right up there.
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Hi John, displaying your punk roots here! Great rocky /punk feel to the guitars and particularly enjoyed the solo with the distorted voice over, nice touch. I really enjoyed the melody except I felt it was a bit uneven as the chorus didn't quite match up the very melodic verses. Great feel to to, enjoyed it!
Nice one!
Cheers
Jamie
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Yes, raw and rocky indeed! Verses reminded me of late 70s new wave, but the chorus was a bit more Madchester era to my ears, so a right rocky mash up there from across the decades. I think it's great to get really stuck into your heritage now and then, no holds barred, no fancy tech, and this is what you do here!
The musical treatment definitely suited the pithy lyrics, and what a great idea and why aren't there more songs about vultures anyway? Such a striking metaphor, yeah just after I've been watching 'Watchdog! and 'Fake Britain' on catch up TV, ha!
Nice release of unbridled energy there, you sound like you needed that! ;D Cheers!
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@PaulAds (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20253) Thanks Paul - Yep, that's what I was aiming for :) It is a bit "Hersham Boys" on the intro innit ?
Good to see you back on the forum btw. I'm sure that you've noticed it's a little quiet, although it has picked up a little bit in the past couple of weeks
@RealKevM (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21324) Thanks man, you know I like to mix it up a bit - variety, spice of life and all that blx
@Bill Saunders (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18525) Thanks Bill - I hadn't thought of Lemmy, but now you say.... The drums are a result in having far too many midi downloads - I can never decide now ;)
@Jamie (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19125) Glad you enjoyed the vibe Jamie, it was great fun to record
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Cool punky sound to this @pompeyjazz (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20269) - great lyrics, delivered with appropriate bite.. a style, I am very partial to! You are fierce prolific I must say - impressed at the speed at which you deliver new quality work.. Fab!
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Great song concept and great passionate (angry!) delivery!
I couldn’t help feeling it could do with an extra element somewhere- maybe a prechorus raising the tension, or maybe an extra line within the chorus to give a little twist? Not that I’ve got any obvious suggestions...
The double vocal is nicely unsettling and really gives it something. Normally I might suggest lining them up more exactly but I think the slight ‘swirliness’ they create adds a nice texture and uniqueness (and anyway is more ‘punk’!)
Always like your rockier stuff!
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nice rock tune
you've got to the point and concise down to a fine art.
I remember reading about the necessity of eradicating the distance between art and the artist in order for one to become consistent in producing high quality. You seem to have achieved this.
Are you setting your sights on something inconceivable to lesser mortals such a I?
Well done Pompey!
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@MichaelA (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21274) There aren't many songs about vultures are there ? There really should be :) Thanks for your feedback, I really enjoyed doing this one
@MonnoDB (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19820) Thanks Karen, sometimes I think I should take more time on stuff but I've always got new ideas banging around :)
@adamfarr (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20124) Hope you got home OK :) - Good idea about a little something extra. Gonna mess with something in the pre-chorus - Thank you :) I do like doing the rockier stuff but also like experimenting outside my comfort zone ;D
@Rightly (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20219) Thanks you so much. I'm just a bloke knocking out songs in a back bedroom that very few people listen to so thank you for the compliment. It's more than enough for me to get respect from fellow writers :)
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Eeek! - had to turn the 'phones down ; it nearly blew my ears out. Superb vocals and a nice, biting, no messing about attitude. You are the master of that squalling wall of electric guitar and pumping bass. Tremendous drum sound - very professional.
Scary in a good way.
M
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Mad..raw..heavy..loud..excessive..loved it, much prefer this musical side of you John mate!
best, Kevin :)
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Another cool & interesting song served up with attitude and style - nice one ;D