The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: MichaelA on November 26, 2018, 03:40:00 PM
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Hi all, after writing some more serious stuff of late I thought it was time to have a bit of fun again - and to revisit the quirkier side of my songwriting. I know nobody is going to have a hit with fun songs like these, but hey I just enjoy making them and sharing with a few folk! ;)
The song is loosely based on some fraught conversations I have been having of late with my dearest wife - regarding ...well my snoring problem actually and what she says is my general inconsiderate behaviour when she is asleep! Enjoy!
https://soundcloud.com/michael-a-duffy/my-sleeping-beauty (https://soundcloud.com/michael-a-duffy/my-sleeping-beauty)
Lyrics:
My Sleeping Beauty
I tried not to wake her
I tiptoed up the stairs
As quietly as I could until
I fell into a chair
I may have been a little drunk
She was stirring in the bed
She seemed glad to see me
When these come-on words she said
I want you baby
I want you now
She said seize me in your arms
And thrill me
I love your beer breath
My drunken dear
Let me whisper in your ear
Get real!
You woke me up!
I tried not to wake her
Cos she was clearly in a mood
But snoring has its own ideas
On what is and is not rude
I felt an elbow in my ribs
Nearly knocked me out of bed
I'm sure she looked at me with lust
As these sultry words she said
I want you baby
I want you now
She said seize me in your arms
And thrill me
I love your snoring
My noisy dear
Let me whisper in your ear
Get real!
You woke me up!
Oh, counting sheep
Off to sleep
And a sweet dreams wonderland
I find pure tranquillity
Helps amenability
Woke next day
Feeling great
Though I slept in rather late
Called my dearest back to bed
Bring a cup of tea I said
Hopes of passion filled my head
Oh darling
Good morning (kiss)
I want you baby
I want you now
I said seize me in your arms
And thrill me
I love your bleary eyes
My sweetest dear
Until she whispered in my ear
Get real!
You woke me up!
Oh, la-la-la
My sleeping beauty
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I love it @MichaelA (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21274) . I know it's a fun song but lots of interesting musical ideas going down here. Reminded me of something out of the 60s a la Bonzo dog era. Love the fact that you are able to be versatile in your songwriting. A huge thumbs up from me :)
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Yeah...I loved this!
That's all, really :)
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I haven't been the leading man in this kind of story for some time.
The song brought back memories.
Musically I think it's fabulous, playful and really tidy.
Really entertaining. Well done.
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Thanks @pompeyjazz (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20269) , I had forgotten all about Bonzo Dog until someone else made the same comparison about another of my songs some weeks back. I really enjoyed catching up with them, and lots of songs tbh I had never even heard before! Cheers!
Cheers too @PaulAds (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20253) , it's nice to get short and sweet approval!
Hey @Rightly (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20219) , sorry to hear you have not been leading man for a while in a story like this. But surely you are not missing too much the sharp elbow in the ribs treatment?! ;D Thanks for the comment!
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I of course have no idea what this is all about. Brilliant stuff and I can see this going a storm live in the pub or club. I normally hate weird synth sounds like you have in the chorus but in a way it just added to the overthetopness!
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Oh my God - you're living my life!
I enjoyed this immensely - a breath of fresh air and a very clever, funny track. Endlessly inventive and beautifully realised. Way out there and all the better for it. Funniest thing I've heard on here in a long, long time.
M
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Hi Michael
This made me chuckle....This sing is going to ring with lots of guys.....Oh the Joy of beery nights out.
Fun track dude.
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Lol! :D :D :D :D
Yes, not a hit but very entertaining nevertheless. Hilarious lyrics and I esp enjoyed the different voices you applied in the different parts. Great fun!
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Haha. This is delightfully ridiculous. Good for you for going there. Damn, the chorus is really catchy. It's brilliant. Really funny.
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Very cool song and I love the lyrics. For sure it won't be a hit but it brings tremendous amount of fun. ;D
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Hey there, thanks everybody @adamfarr (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20124) , @montydog (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18653) , @Cawproductions (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20938) , @Jambrains (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19875) , @redhodie and @fischermans (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19014). Looks like you all had fun and maybe enjoyed a smile or two. That makes me happy, as that's all I am trying to achieve with side of my songwriting. Spread a little happiness and all that! ;D
Cheers for listening! ;)
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Great concept, we've all been there and executed perfectly.
And the changes between the two elements of the song work perfectly and then lead to the payoff line!
Cheers
:)
neil
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Yo Michael.
I thought I already had commented on this... ???
I do this all the time,comment on soundcloud,then think I've done it here too!
Anyway,it's a great song,humorous and perfectly executed.
Versatile are you man.
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Well I agree that I don't think the youngsters are going to be dancing to it in the clubs any time soon, but it sure is a lot of fun!
It reminds me of that famous Victoria Wood song...can't think what it's called...Let's do it??
Really infectious chorus, had me waiting to hear it again each time.
Catchy comedy, well done.
Yodasdad.
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Catchy song.
Has hints of Morrisey and Jarvis Cocker combined with 80s electronic pop.
Nice instruments and vocal effects.
A good listen.
Sandeep
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@MichaelA (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21274) - Clever timing of the lyrics, very precise, I'm getting the Human League bass here, it's not my thing, but it's well done, and sounds like a lot of work.
If I can add anything maybe a few cheesy Female ooooh's in the chorus.
The outro is very hooky, maybe make more of it...?
Hope this helps
Rich
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Omg this one's so much fun! The fairy tale music juxtaposed with the reality of waking up the Mrs is fantastic.
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Fantastic! really made me laugh, I bet every bloke on here has done this
cheers, Mikey
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Oh looks like this one is having a second wind on here. It must be the effect of the Nov SOTM contest, where it came in third place. Pretty good I thought for a fun song. I was very happy with that!
So thanks for all your recent encouraging comments @Neil C (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18856) , @Skub (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20061) , @Yodasdad (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19208) (I love Victoria Wood and that song you quote!) , @Movin Flavour (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20528) , @cowparsleyman (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21308) (nice ideas there) , @The Portrait Piano (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20602) and @Mikey (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20986). The song was a big talking point over Christmas between some of our friends - and definitely struck a delicate nerve with one or two disgruntled females! ;D
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@MichaelA (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21274)
Quirky from the beginning. I love the instrumentation. Hearing such a playful song as this is a delight. On a different note, it's too good for the comedic approach. There's a great song that will appeal to many if you tweak the lyrics just a little.
Thoroughly enjoyable.
Paul