The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: Bill Saunders on November 19, 2018, 04:43:49 PM
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Hi all
Here's another one from me - bit of an 1980s synth rock/pop number going on this time.
Thank you if you listen and feel inclined to tell me what you think, I thank you :)
https://soundcloud.com/bill-saunders/the-more-i-learn (https://soundcloud.com/bill-saunders/the-more-i-learn)
The more I learn, the less I understand
As this world spins around me
The older I get, the less that I know
Of the world that surrounds me
We have the power, but we’re not responsible
Little men with plastic minds craving isolation
I feel giddy, the world spins around me
We pray they’re for turning our private desperation
No one hears the voices of the seven out of ten
We’re standing on the sidelines watching the lunatics
Playing out some crazy movie right before our eyes
Feeling like fools, it’s out of control
Searching for a grain of truth in a web of lies
Who are we to deny opportunity?
Who are we to close down choice?
What right do we have to make their world a smaller place?
No one seems to care and no one hears their voice
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An interesting blend of guitars and Keys. It’s very different from your last post and I like that. I really like the way that this song build and has a very uplifting feel. \I’’d half the length of the intro but overall. a very enjoyable song.
Paul
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Whoa, I love this!!!
This is really a great track. The only thing I wish is for the intro to be shorter and you get right into it. Because right from the get go I was losing interest but then when your vocals came in and the song really started I was like WHOA. YES. So I would definitely cut the intro shorter and just get RIGHT into it.
Love this 80s rock vibe. Great job with this track!!
Micky
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Hi @Bill Saunders (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18525)
The intro synth riff is really infectious and there's a great build to it when the guitars kick in. It reminded me of something that Trevor Horn might have conjured up in the 80's. Your vocals sound different in this one, they really suit this genre. Great production as well :)
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This took me straight back to the 80's (yeah i'm old enough lol) the phrasing of your voice throughout is amazing, the way you attack some of the words. The percussion and melody are spot on.
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Good stuff Bill
I love that keyboard tiff and it compliments the raunchy guitar nicely.
Well sung too - lots to enjoy in this one.
Paul
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Very good song. I agree with some others that the intro is very cool but can be shorten a bit. Like this line best: Searching for a grain of truth in a web of lies.
Well done Alexander
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Great song here with some great original touches - love the "plastic minds" line and the seven out of ten.
The only vague feeling I had was that your vocal felt a tad far away and wanted it a bit higher up in the mix.
But everything sounding really good here - very nice blend of synths and guitars.
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Hi , Good song, enjoyed the build. The synths and guitars went well together,but couldn't really hear the bass and I thought the drums could have done with a bit of reverb to lift them up a bit. Enjoyed the vocals, they had a touch of the Bono's about them.
Good job.
Cheers
Jamie
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Yo Bill.
When this started, I thought this isn't for me but I hung in there and listened to it build...really cool sounding track, Once I got on board.
Went back for another listen and totally got it, Good combo of guitars and synth keys etc..
Top work Fella.
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Hi Bill,
Nice 80's vibe, reminded me of Howard Jones, nice vocal and the guitar blended well with the synths.
Cheers, Mikey
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Cracking song, Bill
Enjoyed the guitars lot, but I liked everything else too!
Drums worked really well...those kick-drum heavy grooves can often get in the way, but it works great here, underpinning the whole thing.
Vocals sounding excellent too...big and confident...nice work!
Love the way it came full circle to end as it had begun...cool!
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Very commercial but with a nice bitter edge under the radio ready sound.
Paints a lot of pictures and has a 'must have another listen' feel.
If I did have another listen I think I would put my own interpretation on the meaning...and disagree. ;)
Yes it sounds slightly dated but not enough for it stand up for itself in todays world.
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I read the lyrics first and expected some acoustic, introspective thing. But this works! Vocal production is great, especially tight in the choruses. There's quite a bit of interesting instrumentation to hold attention, such as the interesting intro and the mid break, then outro fall away.
The fact that it is a bit retro shouldn't bother you, or anyone else, if this kind of thing brings you joy. You sound like you've put a fair bit of passion into this! ;)
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Hi,
Great synth sound/riff and your vocals are strong. Lyrically very eloquent and the whole thing has real drive and authority with nice rise and fall in the arrangement. It's a little long as others have said but still I enjoyed it immensely.
M
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I like the intro. It builds up nicely and kept me interested. Cool vocals. Great song.
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Yeah..nicely done..good song and nice production..
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Thanks all for your kind feedback. (Wish I could do this without pushing the song to the top of the page). Anyway your words are very helpful and gives me the confidence to give this song a spot on my forthcoming album. :D