The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: Jambrains on November 12, 2018, 04:11:32 PM
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Last time it was disco, this time... well you tell me?
Working with Karen (@MonnoDB) is always great fun and this one was no exception.
All and any feedback welcome :)
Will I hug him, will I hit him? I haven’t decided yet
All the girls around me are taking bets
Reminding me that we were once lovers lest I forget
I put the thought aside cos I don’t do regrets
Was he good, was he good, was he good for me?
Or was he as annoying then as he seems now to be?
Cos a freeloader’s all I see
Was he good, was he good....was he good for me?
Will he pull the finger out, will he help, will he help at all?
As we sweep up all around him at his beck and call
Does he see the mood is shifting as the curtain falls?
Like Oz, he’s standing exposed and small
Was he good, was he good, was he good for me?
Or was he as annoying then as he seems now to be?
Cos a freeloader’s all I see
Was he good, was he good....was he good for me?
Now we see his number, now we see his face
Will he run away and hide or will he have the grace
To hear the words we’re saying as we debate his fate
Cos our disdain should be his disgrace
Was he good, was he good, was he good for me?
Or was he as annoying then as he seems now to be?
Cos a freeloader’s all I see
Was he good, was he good....was he good for me?
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Hi,
That riff reminded me of "My Sharona" and the thing certainly doesn't hang around. Loved the organ sound and the guitar on the break. This reminded me of a female punk band from the 70's which I can't remember the name of. What moves this song above the merely good into the definitely great is THAT CHORUS. Bloody hell - it's off the scale. It's a brilliant piece of writing - so simple but effective. I'm going to need a crowbar and a ton of TNT to get it out of my head.
Totally loved this song in every way. I'm going to have to listen again.......and again..........and aGAIN.
(Did I mention the brilliant, cynical and biting lyrics)?
M
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Yo Jambrains.
I ditto what @montydog (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18653) says. Sharona yes but a great track, loves Karens vocals, They give me a hint of Depeche mode - New life, not sure why but they fit this like a dream. Top work
Chorus is bangin, catchy too.
Great work Guys.
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Another bloody f f f..fantastic bit of teamwork on this guys!! I loved every second! No nits. What a chorus!! 😄🎶👊🏻🎶
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Those cymbals makes me feel that Christmas is coming :) Great song
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Bang on tune guys, bit of a throwback but love the tempo, beat and vocals.
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Great song you guys. I'm also a fan of that ear-wormy chorus.
Still hearing "Was he good, was he good ..." please stop! ;D
Flirts with Sharona for sure - I'd consider just changing that riff just a little bit sideways...
Love the guitar sound and of course the vocals.
Great tune ;D ;D
Paul
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Whato @Jambrains (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19875) - Yip bang on, The Vocalist has the spot on voice for the tune, and I like the HVox in the Verse, and then stepping them up in the Hooky Chorus,
I'm hearing Kirsty McColl in there.
Just so much I love about this song, You have such talent man and you too @MonnoDB (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19820) superb delivery.
Thanks
cpm
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Really fun song. Karen's vocals are awesome. Love it. Makes me want to dance.
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Hello, 2 seconds and I thought it is a B52 song. I liked it very much and felt much younger than I am.
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Hi Johan and Karen,
Well it's not disco ;D
This has a great "New Wave" feel to it to my ears, something that might have come out of New York in the late 70's. I love that reedy organ sound. @MonnoDB (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19820) vocals just suit this style so well and glad to see you've managed to get a guitar solo in there @Jambrains (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19875) :)
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Maybe not disco but I'm bopping around... The Go Go's meets Bikini Kill...
Great hook and vocals - I think I even prefer Karen's punkier side we hear at times here (and think there could be more in the tank!)
Lyrics are very cool too - my prefrontal cortex wanted to get into whether there were too many syllables, but my limbic system said, forgeddaboutit.
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yes, sounds to me like the b52s
very skillful production,
very imaginative
I wonder how long it took to get the song finished?
lovely
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Since you ask it, I think that the style of your song is pop-rock, it's "terribly" catchy, the chorus gets right into your head and women instantaneously get pigtails
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Promising start - A bit of My Sharona ;) and late 70's New wave and then it goes into a bit of that all girl group sound from a few years later.
Really love it - Its my kind of thing - so I suppose that helps - getting loads of influences coming through Kirstie McColl/Cranberries
Super!!!- will definitely be getting a few more listens.
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Hey all - just popping in to say thanks so much for taking the time to listen and the fab feedback! Completely chuffed ;D ;D! Laughing at @moraamarolaloba (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21233) and your pigtails comment!!
Thanks again - very much appreciated. This one was, as @Jambrains (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19875) said a LOT of fun!!
Karen.
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Hi,
Like the title and catchy intro.
Then straight into the dual vocals which are unusual ( in a good way ) and then to the catchy chorus.
Getting at 80's vibe.
Good middle eight too with slide, takes the song somewhere else.
Then back to the repeating chorus - thats what I like!
I kind of wondered whether the song should be called "was he good?"
:)
Neil
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Hello Folks
Missed this earlier...
Great song and a lot of fun...vocals are generally great and really great in some parts...especially with that sort of pop-punk blondie/britney bubblegum style delivery...has instant massive appeal, I reckon...
Reminded me of a club we played at years ago...I was putting my Rickenbacker into its case when a very attractive young lady came into the (un)dressing room and asked me if I minded her whipping her kit off in preparation for her "turn" She carefully took off the very nice clothes she had on and put on a schoolgirls outfit...and I asked her what difference it could it possibly make as to which clothes she took off whilst dancing and what-have-you...but she said she gets 10x more work wearing (then not wearing) outfits that the punters prefer...1) schoolgirl 2) nurse :'(
Just a thought...should the offer of a video present itself. I don't mean Jambrains though :P
Super stuff...mix and production are top-notch too...real top quality!
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Guys,
Enjoyed the change of style - pop with hint of 60's garage.
Strong and simple music and catchy repeating chorus.
Liked the vocals with backing 'On was he good for me', lyrics good and amusing.
Good solo, I expect nothing less, and liked the middle 8 with slide and drums. Neat ending too.
Thoughts: occasionally it sounded like there were too many words to fit in with music. And whilst freeloader is a great title, I think the 'Was he good for me?' is the the better chorus. Possibly the bass is too prominent and maybe would sound cool with a slight distortion like its playing through broken speaker?
thanks for sharing
:)
neil
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I thought I'd already commented on this...obviously not.
I gues the 'My Sharona' comparisons are inevitable with the bass line, but this is just as catchy in it's own right, particularly the chorus, as it should be.
You said it was fun working on this and for me, thats probably the word that best sums this track up, fun.
Great work guys, well executed.
Yodasdad.
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Definitely has a My Sharona feeling.
Some great guitars and arrangements.
I like how you are cramming the extra lyrics into the lines, adds some real dynamics to the song.
A great listen.
Sandeep