The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: pompeyjazz on November 11, 2018, 01:54:38 PM
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I thought that I would post this song as it follows on from the excellent recent post from @Binladeda (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18620) about using loops and samples. I decided to write something using two loops as a starting point. The process was as follows :-
1. Selected a couple of loops from the vast Loopmasters catalogue
2. Standardised the BPM and key
3. Chopped up the loops slightly (I adjusted some of the chords in one so that it blended more with the second loop)
4. Complimented the loops with some midi chords
5. Added some midi brass and strings as the chorus had a kind of seventies soul feel
6. Played some "real" bass guitar and "real" guitar
7. Did vocs and BV's
A really interesting experiment and an illustration of how loops can be part of the songwriters toolkit
Cheers
John
Hollow Eyes
You're looks are sponsored by amphetamines
That magic powder makes you run around
Until you – Stumble to the ground
And now you're tranquillised by ketamine
You feel so numb that you can't move an inch
Tongue is stuck, can't even speak
When I see you it makes me break down and cry
You just stare back at me with your ghostly hollow eyes
And then you moved on to some heroin
The line stuck in you vein
You null the pain then -
You do it all again
When I see you it makes me break down and cry
You just stare back at me with your ghostly hollow eyes
When I see you it makes me break down and cry
You just stare back at me with your ghostly hollow eyes
(c) Bradley - 2018
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Hi, never really ventured into the world of loops.Quite a different vibe to live playing. Reminded me a bit of the Philadelphia sound mixed in with a bit of 10CC melody.
Interesting experiment!
Cheers
Jamie
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Loving the subject matter (as a theme for a song) and I got a sense of Barry White and a nice 70's sound.
Lovely Soulful sound...and there is nothing wrong with loops.
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Good stuff.
It reminds me very much of the 80's
'brings (relight my fire).
It does sound like a good start though, an unfinished demo
good ideas a'plenty. Could do with finishing.
I hope you don't mind me giving my amateur opinion John.
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Intriguing! I'd say the keys in the intro are a bit harsh and the intro as such too long.
Indeed a touch of the 80s here and there.
During the chorus there is a vox on one side that is not balanced with something on the opposite side so the mix becomes a bit unbalanced (maybe just noticeable on cans)
For some reason I found the verse more interesting than the chorus.
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Hi,
The intro is a little harsh as someone else has said but it soon settle into a more mellow vibe. An interesting way of writing/arranging which I have never dabbled with. I thought you vocals were excellent as was the melody/lyrical combination. Some hints of Curtis Mayfield in the horns and Isley Brothers in the lead electric guitar. Overall, this a top notch piece of music which I enjoyed very much.
M
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Hopefully guys I've sorted out the problem bits in the mix. Thanks for pointing them out :)
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Evening Pomps.
hey I loved the intro on this track, Thought it was the vibe for the whole song, Wasn't a fan of the later parts,
IMHO, Take the intro and make that into a song, it has a really cool groove, Bass is Sweet.
Loved the vocal on this, great effect and super clean. Sat well in the mix too.
Chorus drops in really nice.
But Like I said, Only my opinion and that don't count for Jack.
Great work fella.
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Hi John,
Cool experiment! I really like the descending melody parts, they were an unexpected hook for me. Very cool!!
Nice one mate!! 🎶👊🏻🎶😁
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Hi @pompeyjazz (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20269) ,
Another great song from you with a lots of variations within song that keep an interest to listen. I really enjoy the way you experimenting with a sound. Thank you for sharing your work.
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Hi John
Very interesting. I haven’t really tried with loops properly myself - when I have, it’s all ended up in the bin. Don’t really know what I’m doing I guess. However, your diversity knows no bounds and this is a classy piece. In particular, your vocals suits this style of music (and just about any other bloody style, come to think of it!) I also think you must know what you’re doing to get those brass patches sounding so good.
I found the intro a little discordant if I’m honest, at least the first time, but I’ve listened through twice now and it’s growing on me.
Great stuff.
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Good work mate, good to see you experimenting, I fancy getting one of those loop pedals to try and flesh out my sound when playing live but I reckon I won't be able to figure out what to do haha anyway good song
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Hey John,
I think these are some of your best lyrics. Really good writing. I'd actually love to hear this more pared down, without the loops, maybe even acoustic. I think the lyrics would shine.
Good job as it is.
Lynn
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Hello John, it works for sure. I like it very much. What I would ask is, if the making of takes less or more time than the making of a, let me say, normal written song. Also interesting if the song feels yours the same way as your other songs do.
Nice work Alexander
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Hi Pompeyjazz,
A good idea you've put into being. I thought the vocals were good too. Like the lyric writing here. I'll say Very interesting song, it kelp me listening and that is a good thing.
Irwin
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Hey PJ - interesting indeed - definitely some Relight My Fire vibe in the chorus there!
I actually preferred the more electro-sounding verses - more atmospheric and interesting melodically, I thought.
But that's just a taste thing and I thought the two sections flowed well in and out of each other.
Next stop DJ-PJ...
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It's melodic and creative. Whatever you use to produce a finished song is ok. If you can ask yourself is there a part of you in the song and and have you created something unique that is not a blatant copy of another song, then you've done the job. I enjoyed listening and also think it's a good post to invite others to do the same. I wrote almost a full album using drum drum loops for Nooms and I. The rhythmic patterns invite me to play and write in a way that I don't usually and in the end, both room and I have been delighted ny the finished songs.
Well done Pompley!
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Jon,
Interesting approach, you wouldn't have know if you hadn't said.
I really liked the upbeat piano and brass section was really catchy.
Musically I wasn't entirely sure whether the two sections really belonged together.
For me lyrics fitted the more electronic verse sections. I hope the lyrics aren't about some you know, but think are..
The brass stabs sound really good btw.
:)
Neil