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Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: rightly on September 14, 2018, 01:58:56 PM

Title: 2 walk without shame
Post by: rightly on September 14, 2018, 01:58:56 PM: Hello everybody.

This is a different take fo a song
I've already posted, some weeks ago

i would like some feedback.

I hope someone likes the song too.

https://soundcloud.com/rightly/2_walk_without_shame

The lyrics:

Walk Without Shame

I’ve heard the words before
I know what they say
how to find the way back home
to remove a stain
and once more with god in the garden
to walk without shame

what was won, now is lost
the joys I once held dear
there is no call for remorse
as I find myself here
to ignite a light in the darkness
be done with all fear

to have come and be
gone with the first rain
to go home and once again
to walk without shame

to walk without shame

---------------------------------------------

Rightly.
Title: Re: 2 walk without shame
Post by: redrhodie on September 16, 2018, 01:26:39 PM: Hey Rightly,

I prefer this version. I think slowing it down works and your singing sounds great.

Lynn
Title: Re: 2 walk without shame
Post by: pompeyjazz on September 17, 2018, 07:03:49 PM: Your vocals on this one are superb.You just carry it off so well, not easy to do. Like Lynn I prefer this version. Absolute emotion
Title: Re: 2 walk without shame
Post by: MichaelA on September 18, 2018, 12:29:30 PM: Wow, first line reminds me of old Scott Walker, and the song has this epic classic pop song character/arrangement to it. Restrained ballad belying all the emotion contained within.

I like your understated instrumentation that is quite unique. The 'walk without shame' hook is very prominent and dramatic I think and rounds off a really pleasing song and performance.
Title: Re: 2 walk without shame
Post by: rightly on September 18, 2018, 02:18:11 PM: Quote from: pompeyjazz on September 17, 2018, 07:03:49 PM
Your vocals on this one are superb.You just carry it off so well, not easy to do. Like Lynn I prefer this version. Absolute emotion

This was another of those seemingly inevitable songs that fall out of the bag.
It really wasn't a struggle. I had it done and was quite focused on improving it for a while but for all my trying I couldn't really take it further.
Title: Re: 2 walk without shame
Post by: Morefrog Jones on September 18, 2018, 05:30:30 PM: Fab song - really like this version you have uploaded done as a duet...really nice.
https://soundcloud.com/rightly/walk-without-shame-1
Title: Re: 2 walk without shame
Post by: Neil C on September 18, 2018, 07:08:06 PM: I remember it the first time around, and like this intriguing arrangement and delivery.
Good work.
:)
neil
Title: Re: 2 walk without shame
Post by: CaliaMoko on September 18, 2018, 08:35:11 PM: I do like this treatment better than the first time around. It is so much more emotional. But I miss the haunting effect of the background vocals in the first version. I'd really like to hear one with those included, as well. This is pretty great as is, though.
Title: Re: 2 walk without shame
Post by: rightly on September 20, 2018, 12:15:02 PM: Quote from: Morefrog Jones on September 18, 2018, 05:30:30 PM
Fab song - really like this version you have uploaded done as a duet...really nice.
https://soundcloud.com/rightly/walk-without-shame-1

That one went surprisingly smoothly.
I wanted to have other singers involved even though I prefered my own take.
I'm happy with it.
Title: Re: 2 walk without shame
Post by: MonnoDB on September 22, 2018, 08:13:16 PM: Moody in the extreme. Sound draws me in - your instrumentation is always interesting and coolly bleak.

Your sound grows on me I must say - I've listened to a few of your songs now and I like them more with each listen.

Great stuff..

Karen
Title: Re: 2 walk without shame
Post by: montydog on September 25, 2018, 04:07:35 PM: Hi,

I enjoyed this immensely - your vocals are brilliant and the whole thing drips with atmosphere. Bryan Ferry meets Nick Cave and they go for a night out with Scott Walker.

Lovely

M
Title: Re: 2 walk without shame
Post by: rightly on September 26, 2018, 10:17:14 AM: Quote from: montydog on September 25, 2018, 04:07:35 PM
Hi,

I enjoyed this immensely - your vocals are brilliant and the whole thing drips with atmosphere. Bryan Ferry meets Nick Cave and they go for a night out with Scott Walker.

Lovely

M

Thanks Montydog (nice name, by the way)

I've a few versions of this song. This one is my favourite.
It was supposed to be "the bottom line version"
there's an abandonment in the tone that reminds me of Nick Cave.

It would be something to hang out with those three you mentioned.

Thanks for commenting. It's always flattering when very talented people, such as yourself like my material.
Thanks for the encouragement!!!
Title: Re: 2 walk without shame
Post by: moraamarolaloba on September 26, 2018, 10:13:58 PM: I really liked the lyrics, the sentence "to walk without shame" impressed me, maybe it's because many people would like to walk like this in their lives. Very emotive your interpretation.
Title: Re: 2 walk without shame
Post by: rightly on September 29, 2018, 04:59:52 PM: Quote from: moraamarolaloba on September 26, 2018, 10:13:58 PM
I really liked the lyrics, the sentence "to walk without shame" impressed me, maybe it's because many people would like to walk like this in their lives. Very emotive your interpretation.

Thanks. Yes, I think I really hit a nerve there.
The only idea I had on starting out was to keep it simple.
Thanks for commenting.