The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Works in Progress => Topic started by: RealKevM on August 16, 2018, 05:25:15 PM
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Hello! Here's a brand new song I started writing this morning, in fact this is what I've cobbled together in ten minutes. Please let me know what you think 👍
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I like the chords and melody.
Only suggestion is I like the strumming rhythm overall - particularly for the verse - might experiment with a rythym for the chorus that is a little more different. One thought would be a rhythm that emphasizes/accents more upbeats or just different beats (e.g. like 1 and the and of 4 getting accented).
Anyway sounds like the basis for a potential really good song. :)
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Whato Kev
I really like this, some of the best songs come very quickly, and this is one of them, great sounding guitar too.
Love the socks in the video..
Your singing is improving... :)
cpm
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I liked the song. My one nit is that (for the benefit for us old hard of hearing guys) I'd like to see a lyric sheet to help me follow the words.
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I like the chords and melody.
Only suggestion is I like the strumming rhythm overall - particularly for the verse - might experiment with a rythym for the chorus that is a little more different. One thought would be a rhythm that emphasizes/accents more upbeats or just different beats (e.g. like 1 and the and of 4 getting accented).
Anyway sounds like the basis for a potential really good song. :)
Thanks so much, it is still in its early stages so i'll definitely be altering the strumming pattern to create a dynamic between the verse and chorus.
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Whato Kev
I really like this, some of the best songs come very quickly, and this is one of them, great sounding guitar too.
Love the socks in the video..
Your singing is improving... :)
cpm
Cheers man :)
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I liked the song. My one nit is that (for the benefit for us old hard of hearing guys) I'd like to see a lyric sheet to help me follow the words.
Thank you. I do usually include the lyrics but haven't this time as it's unfinished but when I post a finished version I definitely will :)
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To update, i've done all the lyrics and arrangement, here are the lyrics and a newly recorded acoustic version. Please let me know what you think
I'm coming up 40
In this 30 limit
It's doing nothing for me
But at least i'm still in it
I'll lose my shoes
Now i've found my feet
If it's the same to you
I'll beat this disease
Chorus
I'll sing my songs
You sing them back to me
We sing along
Across the fields through the trees
2nd verse
The years are falling
Going by like the rain
Can#t you hear me calling
I'm going down again
And to stop the rot
I'll write you something new
Does it matter or not
If it sees me through
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...Nice man
cpm
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...Nice man
cpm
Cheers dude :)
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Yo Kev.
I like this a lot. It's the bare bones of a good song. Great lyrics.
I can hear it done in a Tom Petty style,lots of jangle and stuff...but that's just how I'm bent.
At the moment I think there needs to be a step up for the chorus part,for me it's too similar to the verses.
Good work man. :)
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Cheers skub, appreciate the comments. The song is evolving as I get into it more (I only wrote it two weeks ago) but yeah I need to be more dynamic with my vocals and a faster tempo in the chorus. Here's a new live video version if anyone wants to take a look
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Nice one Kev. I think your guitar / vocal combination works really well and impressed that you filmed it as well
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Thank you so much, I respect your songwriting so that means a lot to me.
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Hey there I am really liking this, I think for me if the strumming had more emphasis on the down beat it would sound better to my ears anyway
cheers
Lilly
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Hi kev,
Just been skimming the video progress, its coming along nicely, Stick with it, thats a great song dude.
I reckon, like sub said, make that chorus lift by not going too mad on the verses, then you have somewhere to go.
Also get that vocal nailed and you have a great track on your hands,
As ever Kev, great lyrics.
would love to hit one of your songs with the AtticVibes/Cawproductions stick sometime.
Keep up the good work.
Cheers
Andy
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Hey there I am really liking this, I think for me if the strumming had more emphasis on the down beat it would sound better to my ears anyway
cheers
Lilly
Cheers Lilly. I'll give that a go! :)
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Hi kev,
Just been skimming the video progress, its coming along nicely, Stick with it, thats a great song dude.
I reckon, like sub said, make that chorus lift by not going too mad on the verses, then you have somewhere to go.
Also get that vocal nailed and you have a great track on your hands,
As ever Kev, great lyrics.
would love to hit one of your songs with the AtticVibes/Cawproductions stick sometime.
Keep up the good work.
Cheers
Andy
Thanks Andy, really appreciate it. You're right, i'm going to have a look at the dynamics see what I can change up. Get to work on any of my songs anytime, you do great work :)
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Cheers Kev,
Keep up the good work dude, you are really progressing fast.
Andy
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Cheers man, appreciate it!
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I like this one more Kev, better thought out, no cliches, a good honest song
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like the song, and I listened to "to late..liked that song too.
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I like this one more Kev, better thought out, no cliches, a good honest song
Thank you really appreciate that :)
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like the song, and I listened to "to late..liked that song too.
Thank you, glad you dig them. I've a bunch of songs up on my Youtube if you want to have a browse about.