The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Lyrics => Topic started by: rightly on August 05, 2018, 09:30:36 PM
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This is a fairly recent write. Feedback is always very welcome.
It came out of contemplating monogamy / polygamy in a romantic relationship.
I think the defining factor In any such relationship is the degree of trust whichever way is decided.
I've heard getting involved can be a bumpy ride.
The rewards are potentially great, the dangers can be fatal, at least to the spirit.
Perhaps it's not for the light-hearted. Generally I prefer to keep my dramas on stage.
The song is about finished. I'm not always entirely sure whether I like the song or not.
Sometimes I really do, other times not so much.
I'll see how it fares in the course of time.
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one heart whole
there's a warm breeze
and many ways to survive
take your worries
and hang them out to dry
hear me if I'm not mistaken
forgive me all I know
many loves must be forsaken
to make just one heart whole
to make just one heart whole
your wily ways,
all these secrets and lies
should have no place
in your heart or mine
any thorn can be misleading
and discolor the rose
left alone, distraught n' needy
leave me anything but broke
to make this one heart whole
... drop all defense, discard pretense
relinquish resistance, be still
hear me If I'm am not mistaken
forgive me all I know
many loves must be forsaken
to make just one heart whole
leave me anything but broke
to make just one heart whole
there's a warm breeze and there are so many ways to
survive
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Hi Rightly
Up to your usual high standards.
I can't find any nits.
drop all defense, discard pretense
relinquish resistance, be still
loved the assonance in that part (bridge?) ;D ;D
Paul
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Thanks Paul.
Yes, that's the bridge.
This is the final song of an 18 track "double album"
Lol. I think it sounds silly, chasing these standards of convention.
I'll be free to do my own thing now.
Hurrah.
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It's a wonderful write @Rightly (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20219) .Let us know when the album is out as I for one will be well into that
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It's a wonderful write @Rightly (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20219) .Let us know when the album is out as I for one will be well into that
@pompeyjazz (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20269)
John, the song to this is now ready.
It's presently at the top of my soundcloud.
The album is of 18 tracks (I like to think of it as a double album, cuz I'm old school).
It sort of chronicles my efforts learning to use cubase.
I think you know what a monster cubase or other highly developed DAWS are.
It took some effort and many mistakes were made but i quite frequently surprised myself in a good way and I have great affection for this album.
I still need to get the volume levels right, for even listening.
It could already do with a remastering but I haven't the time.
My skills have improved and I'm already working on new material, I'm already close to having 5 new tracks for a new album.
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I absolutely love the lyric to this, went to listen to the song and.........it sounds nothing like I had in my head haha!
I really like it though. Much more upbeat than my pessimistic mind had envisaged!
Great work as always 😀
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I absolutely love the lyric to this, went to listen to the song and.........it sounds nothing like I had in my head haha!
I really like it though. Much more upbeat than my pessimistic mind had envisaged!
Great work as always 😀
Glad you like the song.
The acoustic version will be less upbeat. :)