The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Lyrics => Topic started by: Liam on July 26, 2018, 11:33:48 AM
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Came to me in the shower
I've got a melody for it
When the sun shines on me
When the sun shines on me
there's no better place to be
than by my side
you can see the brightness in my eyes
as mountains slide away and hide
I've a smile longer than the Nile
as freedom builds a bridge
and heaven doesn't seem so far
when the sun shines on me
there's no better place to be
than by my side
you can see the soul I am
as mountains move away
and all the shadows lift
and you can see the brightness in my eyes
When the sun shines on me
there's no better place to be
than by my side
you can see the brightness in my eyes
as mountains slide away and hide
I've a smile longer than the Nile
as freedom builds a bridge
and heaven doesn't seem so far
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I have one suggestion. It sounds like the protagonist wants to walk by his/her own side. So I suggest there's no better place to be than walking by your side. To make it sound like you're talking about another person.
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Thanks Vicki I know what you mean but it's about me and people seeing me come through the other side
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Okay, I get it. I don't know I would get that from hearing the song, but it makes sense, once you explain it. And other people (who are not as dense as I am) might get it right away.
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Lol you’re far from dense Vicki xx
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Katie
I like this, you've wasted no time by letting the listener know what the title is that's Good and it's also a very easy Melody write well done.
Best of luck with this
Royston
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Hi Royston glad you like it xxx
Sent you a PM