The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: Jack_Diamond. on June 12, 2018, 06:40:29 PM
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EDIT: after a lot of comments on the mix ive gone back raised volumes and had a go at mastering it:
https://soundcloud.com/user-993922645-442229940/bad-thoughts-finished
Hey, after my exams have finished ive finally done a song im really quite proud of.
https://soundcloud.com/user-993922645-442229940/bad-thoughts
lyrics:
They're in my head they wont shut up
they hold me down i cant get up
out of bed so i stay in
with my bad thoughts and bad feelings
Im having those bad thoughts again, oh well
well its okay i know it gets better
Verse 1 repeat
Im having those bad thoughts again, oh well
well its okay i know it gets better
7 days and ill be gone, be gone, be gone, be gone, be gone
and we've had fun but now's enough, enough, enough, enough's enough
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Such a simple production and yet very effective, I think. My primary nit is having to strain so hard to hear your voice. I don't know anything about mixing and production, etc, but I'm pretty sure it's possible to get a sleepy, soft mood without making the voice so hard to hear. Unfortunately, I can't give you any tips for that...it isn't my area. :(
I like the words a lot and I think you've done a really good job of fitting them into a chanting type of melody that suits the subject really well.
I like the way the production gets busy as it progresses, giving an impression of the singer gradually becoming overwhelmed by the cacophony of the "bad thoughts".
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Oh, this is lovely. The dissonance and resonance enhance the lyrics perfectly. The one thing that struck me as unfitting was the change at the end. Maybe a slower build up would tie it in better? Or maybe I just need to listen a few more times to hear it.
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Hello!
Now this, this is right up my alley!! To begin with, I will help you with one thing, Lo-Fi is f-ing great but make it listenable. By that I mean that you should really raise the volume on this track, because it's really beautiful.
I love the synthsounds, I love you voice, I love the fragile delivery, I love you?, I think this is great. But raise the volume.
You have a real talent.
/Tommy
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@CaliaMoko (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19928)
Hey you got it! :) (drowning in thoughts idea). Thank you for your lovely comment you are right there is a way of raising the vocals and im trying to sort it out now. Thanks.
@Jenna (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21074) Thanks
so much and thats a good idea. i look into building it up slower hopefully i can still keep track length down too :S
@Tommy Blixt (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20176)
There is no question mark for me when i say I love you. You certainly have a way with words Tommy because there is big smile right across my face as im typing this which i am very grateful for, so thank you very much. Im currently working on mastering this song and as you rightly pointed out its a bit quiet. I love you.
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First thing is I really love the lyrics of this. Very honest and very real.
I would like to hear your vocals a bit louder in the mix. Sounds like you've got a great voice, especially for this type of music. It's really working.
Love the change to a more psychedelic feeling. To me this is a specific representation of depression and anxiety. That's how I interpret it, at least. And for me, it is a very effective way of producing this song.
Really great job on this!
Micky
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Really beautiful. I love your style. So pretty and melancholy. I'm writing as I listen. Woah, wasn't expecting that uplift at 3 mins. Really cool. Works for me!
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hey @redrhodie (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21171) I always like your comments haha. Thank you :)
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The first section is quite hypnotic and tranquil sounding, even though the lyrics are troubling in nature. The second half boosted production works well in contrast.
It's great to see some young talent pushing through!
The first half though, in particular, is recorded quite low and I had to turn it up louder than other tunes I was listening to. I'd just check that before you publish in future if I were you, as you need to try to keep the output consistent with other songs on places like Soundcloud. Easily fixed, however - and a really nice song, well done.
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@MichaelA (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21274) Hey man thanks for the feedback. After yours and other peoples comments ive made a few adjustments and put a new version above if you are interested.
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Hi Jack, volume is a better now - but still could go up a bit. But if you like it that way, than that is OK too. I like the contrast between the two main parts of the piece. It is a lovely dreamy song and you've done well with it. ;)
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Hi Jack Diamond
The song has a real chill out feel and the change in pace at the end is a twist.
A good listen
Sandeep
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@Movin Flavour (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20528) Hey man, thanks. means a lot x