The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: Paulski on May 27, 2018, 05:19:10 PM
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Here's my entry. Fecking drummer speeds up in the chorus reminds me of the band days.. ;D
Any advice, comments, disparaging remarks are welcome.
https://soundcloud.com/paulcanuck/pretty-blue
Pretty Blue
I'll never be your techni-colour man
No pot of gold if I'm your rainbow's end
No sunny ray of sunshine peaking through
I know I'm grey but babe - you're pretty blue
I love you babe whatever mood you choose
I may be grey but Babe - you're pretty blue
I'm flying from the fire to the pan
I'll never try to light it up again
You know I'm never gonna change my hue
Maybe I been grey but you're pretty blue
choruses and what-not..
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Yo Paul,ya old fox! 8)
Nothing like yer usual stuff,yet totally like yer usual stuff.
You have a way of making a thing yer own. It's the sign of a great artist.
Punk Canuck feck me pink,it's a new genre! :D
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I was also taken a bit by surprise by the genre - not what I was expecting at all, which was great!
I love the energy in this and the vocal sounds fantastic
Although the organ added a new "flavour" I think I would have personally left it out to keep the song a "garage rocker" with the drums, bass & guitar
Overall though, I really liked this interpretation and you really knitted in well with the drum track
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Oh, I really enjoyed that! No nits. For me, it feels like an elderly couple, one singing to the other. Awesome!
Vicki
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I really loved hearing this one...I had no idea what to expect...it’s been incredible how people have gone out on a limb and knocked something up that retains all of their talent and integrity.
It’s obviously a starting point that’s close to my heart...but this is another example of how great writers can take something that perhaps might not be their “thing” and make something special and unique out of it.
Thoroughly enjoyable.
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Completely angry and wonderful - this is punky and the sort of thing that sprung to mind when I did my entry too. You managed to cut out some of the drum track and not fall over too! Very short, very good!
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That's a great infectious guitar riff, really sets the mood and tells us where this going. (Perhaps around the 1 minute mark I thought maybe it could use some variation?)
Love the sentiment too - some people just need to realise that being miserable isn't necessarily a great life choice (and I used to date many of them...)
The organ is interesting indeed - I think that's one of the fascinating things with this track - because it has space for instrumentals and breakdowns then all of us get to thinking about what to add there and the results are unique. I think I'd have it all the way to the end and not just for the break but that would be a different vibe of course.
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Loved this Paulski. That geetar just rawks big time. I love the simplicity, the drive, the energy and the rhythm. I really like the organ actually. Adds a big slice of psychedelic. This is monster ;D
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Love the different meanings of pretty blue both working simultaneously. Cool lyrics. Singing sounds great. Love the organ. Fun to hear you rock out! Totally works. So what are you, capable of anything? Very impressed.
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Neat how you turned the riff in the instrumental/organ bit....and it's that riff which marks this....and your vocal of course, which is Paulski all right but with his tight pants on for this one.
Good old rocker with typical Paulski panache and like all the songs I've heard so far in the comp you wouldn't know the drums hadn't been created just for this!
Yeah the organ part comes a bit out of nowhere but I liked that bit a lot!
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You sound pretty good cranked up, mate! Really good track, love the slippery guitar riff and the perfect delivery of the hook.
Not so sure about the break in the middle, seemed from a different song on first listen.
The drum track fits just right and it's a really great listen!
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Cheers everyone for the warm reception to this song ;D
No-one has mentioned my country twang in a punk song - so that's good ;D
@skub - thanks for that - yeah that would be Punk Canunk I guess
@Boydie (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18510) - cheers Paul - probably should have played guitar in that break but I'm a keyboard man so opted for the organ. Appreciate the kind words on the vocals - means a lot from the production master! ;D
@CaliaMoko (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19928) - thanks Vicki - two old people eh? hehe - I guess even punkers will get old some day. ;D
@PaulAds (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20253) - cheers Paul and thanks for the kind words. I'm anxious to here the original Clash song now that this is done.
oops - here comes the boss :o - more thanks to come later ... ;D ;D
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Heya Paul,
Especially excited to see how you've adapted your vibes to these extra punky drums. And outch, I'm in love with those sinister vocals and driving guitars, from start to finish!
Great use of the drum buildups, 'specially enjoy where it cuts to vocals before easing back in. Reminded me of 'Damn this Field' a little which is another one of my faves - will be back for more listens fo sure.
Cheers!
Scott.
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@Bill Saunders (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18525) - cheers Bill - more hangry than angry - I hadn't eaten when I recorded this ;D Appreciate the kind comments.
@adamfarr (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20124) - cheers Adam - you're prob right about the organ - should have kept it going maybe. Thanks for listening!
@pompeyjazz (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20269) - thanks John. yeah it was fun to do sth like this fo sure!
@redrhodie (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21171) - thanks Lynn - well I'm capable of trying anything - succeeding? - well that's another kettle of fish ;D
@Viscount Cramer & His Orchestra - cheers Ian. Yeah I like going to the sub-dominant in a bridge - makes things go kind of sideways - hopefully in a good way!
@tboswell (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20223) - Thanks Tom - means a lot coming from you - agree that organ part is a segway. Hope it gets better second time around (if anyone plays it that often ;D)
@ScottLevi (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20495) - thanks Scott - yeah there's no let-up in this one - the drums made me do it! Appreciated the kind remarks on Damn this Field too.
Hope I didn't miss anyone - thanks again everybody and good luck in the contest (not that you'll need it)!
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real strong vocal paul some welly indeed (uk for foot on the pedal..with some urgency !)
and such a mean riff ! a JCB of a riff !
love the Wurlitzer rising up from the pit
great song on top
imagine this on a juke box !
great comp
each of the songs ive listened to so far could be singles !
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You're very versatile Paul!! And you show off your rocky side here and in great form. That guitar riff is powerful and rocking and the bass really driving! Your vocals are just superb! And towards the end, when you go hell to leather, reminded me a little a Eric Dover (he's the vocalist from Slash's Snakepit's first album...).
Great rock track with great rock vocals!
Darren
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I really like the first part Paul remind me of Dr.Feelgood but can i ask was the vocal done in one part 8)
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Another strong riff on this one, really cool. The vocal harmonies give it a slightly country twinge, which is a nice touch and they are well delivered. A like the use of reverb to make some notes echo on right after the solo although I'm a bit on the fence about the organ. Maybe it would've sat bit better with a bit of adjustment in the sound/tone/type of organ.
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I liked the title that drew me to it straight away sounded like something The jam might have as a title, good song - I don't have lot to say - I liked it 8 out of 10 from me - good vibe , good voice good strong song
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You're just relentlessly beating that guitar Paulski! This is a song that really grows with a few listens. The backing vocals add a nice touch. The guitar gives the vocals a good push.
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Hi Paul,
Sounds like something off "Live Rust" by your vocal doppelganger and fellow Canadian....you know who:-)
Insistent riff and wild vocal set this apart from your usual style - you are incredibly versatile like a musical chameleon. I think it works perfectly to fill the brief of the competition.
M
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Sorry for the late bump. I'll just thank peeps and "get off the effing stage!" as my old bass player used to say to aggressive drunkards. ;D
@nooms (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=11264) cheers nooms and congrats on taking home the prize!
@Darren1664 (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20970) thanks Darren - glad you thought the vocal suited the track - my Canuck twang usually gets in the way of sounding anywhere near cool ;D
@Oldbutyet (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20424) Oy - Pat! Nice to hear from you. Vocal in one take? Probably not - I can't remember my own phone number at the best of times. ;D
@Ramshackles (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=6887) cheers Ram - very kind of you. Yeah the organ is a bit of an interloper init?
@katiewilson1 (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22124) thanks Katie. I'll take 8/10 any day ;D
@Martinswede (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20851) Thanks Martin. Yeah I'm the shits on guitar so I just choose a bit I accidentally played well, and loop it. No wonder it sounds relentless! Appreciate the kind words. ;D
@montydog (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18653) Thanks Alan - Live Rust! - well that's a compliment indeed. Cheers for that!
Hope I missed no-one - great competition - it was a lot of fun doing sth outside the box for me.
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Hi Paul,I missed this competition completely :'(,but I have heard a few of the entrants, pretty good idea! Love this, it's quite a way from your usual thing, but as usual you carry it off with panache and style. What can't you do? >:( ;)
Cheers
Jamie
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Hey,
didn't know you couldn't do that !
I wish for the synth/organ part to be longer, it seems to announce itself and then it disappeared lol
Great tune, works 100% with me.
Nono.