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Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: mickyplankton on May 11, 2018, 02:03:46 PM

Title: Seven Hills of Santiago.
Post by: mickyplankton on May 11, 2018, 02:03:46 PM
Hi All,

I originally posted this track in WIP a couple of months ago and got some great feedback from Pompey Jazz, Cowparsleyman and PaulAds. The feedback was comprehensive but the main takeaway for me was that it needed some EQ work. - The original was too low end.
Ive been using Garageband for years but didnt realise there is a very crude method of EQ where you can alter the levels of treble and bass in the mix. So this and did and here is the largely finished product. This is probably the last song i will publish with my existing set up. An IPad 2, and Garageband version 9 (or so). My Ipad is now technically obsolete as Apple now longer support it with updates to the operatiing system. This has a knock on effect as to my ability to use the latest version of Garageband and Dropbox which means i cant accept any offer of help for mixing or mastering which is very frustrating. Im probably going to stick with Ipads and Garageband now that i know there is an EQ set up on the latest version.

Anyhow, heres the updated song. Thanks in advance for comments on any aspect of this



https://soundcloud.com/mickyplankton/seven-hills-of-santiago-demo-2

Seven Hills and Twelve Tain Men
What i have seen, Never again,
Keepsake me in your locket
Picture of you in my wallet.
That was all that remainded of the fire
That burned so bright, keeping warmth on the dark Night

My Wallet is now long gone.
Stolen on the Lost Heroes.
Question if you mind if i must
if the battle is to be won.
Then what must be lost?
And you become a living Husk
Your shit out of luck.
Title: Re: Seven Hills of Santiago.
Post by: diademgrove on May 11, 2018, 05:16:13 PM
Hi Mickey,

I really like the song but the vocal sounds really muffled. It may be my ears haven't got rid of all the wax that's being blocking them but I don't think so.

Sorry to be a little negative but the song deserves to be heard,

Keith
Title: Re: Seven Hills of Santiago.
Post by: pompeyjazz on May 11, 2018, 05:30:59 PM
Hi Micky, you know already how much I like this song. It's sounding better that's for sure and I'm sure that's down to your mixing efforts. It's really frustrating when you're stuck with old tech. Good luck with the upgrade. It seems that there's a pretty good eq feature in the latest version of Garageband. I don't use Garageband myself but there are a few guys on here who do and I'm sure they can update you with what's available.
Title: Re: Seven Hills of Santiago.
Post by: PaulAds on May 13, 2018, 01:00:38 PM
Hi Micky

You're definitely getting there with this one...I listened a few days ago at work...and the mix seems loads better...vocal is clearer now...could maybe still have a little more presence or a tiny volume increase ??? just a thought...


it's a really good song
Title: Re: Seven Hills of Santiago.
Post by: redrhodie on May 14, 2018, 01:24:52 AM
Fun melody. I like the sing-songy vocals. Yeah, this is a really good song. Like the horn. Reminds me a little of Cake.

Sorry about your setup going obsolete. That sucks. But I could hear past the sound quality, and you have a great song underneath.
Title: Re: Seven Hills of Santiago.
Post by: Katie Wilson on May 14, 2018, 09:49:30 AM
I agree with the comments about the muffled voice - but there really is a song in there -an anthem even - reminds me of the temple Tudor song -'swords of.a thousand men ( I think that is what it was called,) has that kind of stomping aggressive power
Title: Re: Seven Hills of Santiago.
Post by: IronKnee on May 14, 2018, 02:52:32 PM
Love the bright and brisk pace.....sounds Beatleesc.
Love the lightness of this, musically, but the mix does sound a bit muffled, still. Although, that can introduce a charm of its own, if you know what I mean (lowFi is a fav. amongst some)
Anyways, good writing, and thanks for sharing.
                                                                                       8)-Tom
Title: Re: Seven Hills of Santiago.
Post by: Skub on May 14, 2018, 03:14:45 PM
Yo Micky.

Love the song and the obvious enthusiasm,the mix gives the track a very live feel.

The keys break was very cool and gave it a Continental holiday vibe.

I understand the frustration of hearing a sound in your head and not having the tools to implement the result. The mix/production side of things can be laborious and most of us would rather be playing than twiddling!  :D

Keep it going lads.  :)
Title: Re: Seven Hills of Santiago.
Post by: Cawproductions on May 14, 2018, 07:49:36 PM
Mickey,

This thing has balls, love the kik in at 1.52...

Less Reverb on the vocal will help them shine through a little more.....but if thats the vibe you want, then its cool.

Andy
Title: Re: Seven Hills of Santiago.
Post by: Viscount Cramer & His Orchestra on May 15, 2018, 06:11:57 PM
This is an interesting one Micky and has a lot of appeal. I'm fond of the vocal as it is really...it seems right somehow.

You obviously had a big vision for this one....if that's the right way to express it for something heard not seen...so I'm going to sign on to your idea for it and not make any suggestions.

It's a great song title too and a mysterious (to me anyway) lyric which is obviously personal to you. I figured Santiago in Spain first but since you've also got a song about B.A. and it's hilly I'm going for Chile.

Interesting that Katie mentions Tenpole Tudor...I wouldn't have thought of that....totally forgotten about them in fact, but it does have an epic, heroic quality especially with the Twelve Tain Men line and the 'battle to be won'...and the 'Heroes' of course.

Like it.
Title: Re: Seven Hills of Santiago.
Post by: adamfarr on May 16, 2018, 02:40:53 PM
Everything sounding really good here in the end...


With the vocals I think they're fine later on when there's more going on. At the beginning I think the harmony vocal gets in the way a bit, and I anyway think it would be more effective and interesting to have a solo voice until the second section.


Definitely getting there though!
Title: Re: Seven Hills of Santiago.
Post by: tboswell on May 16, 2018, 05:18:52 PM
A little too ragged for my tastes on the whole and I agree with others that the vocals lack clarity which makes it hard to hear what is going on.

The overall sound it good though and I enjoyed the psychedelic feel to it in places.
EQing seemed good too  :)
Title: Re: Seven Hills of Santiago.
Post by: MichaelA on May 16, 2018, 05:32:06 PM
I agree with the anthemic potential of the song mentioned above. Wow, it's like the Doors meet The Clash at a groovy psychedelic party in the sky!

Like how you end with that instrumental section as it is a much better outro than it may have been as an interlude. Well it's just loads of fun this, good work.

I use ipads and GB too and recently had to buy a slight upgrade ipad on Ebay (refurbished), so I sympathise with that frustration at equipment  becoming obsolete. But I do have a lot more memory on my latest ipad, so more room for more projects!

The vocals here though sound like they may be being sung straight into the ipad mic. Not sure, but if so I'd recommend getting a mic upgrade too. It made a difference to my vocal sound, and y'know I need all the help I can get!  ;)
Title: Re: Seven Hills of Santiago.
Post by: PaulyX on May 16, 2018, 06:51:08 PM
Thought that was deliciously weird!  Like Emerson Lake and Palmer and The Fall got together to form a supergroup.
I like the way the keyboards have that syncopated rhythm and stay relentlessly on that chord.
And then the second half when the percussion kicks in and you get the mad "brass" solos takes it to another level.
Very Radio 6 Stuart Maconie's "Freak Zone" material (which is my bag).  Nice one!
Title: Re: Seven Hills of Santiago.
Post by: mickyplankton on May 16, 2018, 09:57:43 PM


Hey all, Thanks for the feedback.

For those who commented on the vocals being muffled, i get it. Its partly intentional. The song tells a story that takes place over a long expanse of time, and i wanted a vocal effect that conveyed that in some way, hence a lot of reverb and echo. I appreciate, its not necessarily a good idea in terms of listener experience, but i got the vibe i wanted. That said, i may take Adams point on board and cut out the backing vocal in the first verse that makes sense so thanks Adam.

This is an interesting one Micky and has a lot of appeal. I'm fond of the vocal as it is really...it seems right somehow.

You obviously had a big vision for this one....if that's the right way to express it for something heard not seen...so I'm going to sign on to your idea for it and not make any suggestions.

It's a great song title too and a mysterious (to me anyway) lyric which is obviously personal to you. I figured Santiago in Spain first but since you've also got a song about B.A. and it's hilly I'm going for Chile.

Interesting that Katie mentions Tenpole Tudor...I wouldn't have thought of that....totally forgotten about them in fact, but it does have an epic, heroic quality especially with the Twelve Tain Men line and the 'battle to be won'...and the 'Heroes' of course.

Like it.

Thanks Pal. you are right about Chile!

I agree with the anthemic potential of the song mentioned above. Wow, it's like the Doors meet The Clash at a groovy psychedelic party in the sky!

Like how you end with that instrumental section as it is a much better outro than it may have been as an interlude. Well it's just loads of fun this, good work.

I use ipads and GB too and recently had to buy a slight upgrade ipad on Ebay (refurbished), so I sympathise with that frustration at equipment  becoming obsolete. But I do have a lot more memory on my latest ipad, so more room for more projects!

The vocals here though sound like they may be being sung straight into the ipad mic. Not sure, but if so I'd recommend getting a mic upgrade too. It made a difference to my vocal sound, and y'know I need all the help I can get!  ;)

Your song is superb Mate so im flattered you have offered feedback on mine. You are right about singing straight into the Ipad. I do have a Rode Microphone but its  a bit of a pain to set up and i often record on a whim. But perhaps i should re record the vocals with this.

Thought that was deliciously weird!  Like Emerson Lake and Palmer and The Fall got together to form a supergroup.
I like the way the keyboards have that syncopated rhythm and stay relentlessly on that chord.
And then the second half when the percussion kicks in and you get the mad "brass" solos takes it to another level.
Very Radio 6 Stuart Maconie's "Freak Zone" material (which is my bag).  Nice one!


Ha Ha thanks PaulyX Its absolutely no surprise this sounds like the Fall as 99% of my Spotify listening has been the Fall in the last few months. Trying to catch up on all the Fall tracks ive never listened too. Just heard "Taking Off" for the first time the other day and even now, The Fall continue to amaze me!
Title: Re: Seven Hills of Santiago.
Post by: MichaelA on May 16, 2018, 11:38:23 PM
Hey Mickey, well it has taken me a couple of years to learn to produce stuff a little better on iPad/GB. The best investment I did was to buy an Apogee Ipad mic for about £175. I thought that was expensive, but I had been getting so much feedback that my vocals sounded amateurish production wise that I thought it was worth the punt, So now I have this, which gives more vocal clarity, but is still a bt tinny. So I finally found a free app called MicSwap. There is an 'old timer' mic on there (free - although you can pay for others) which smooths my vocal's edginess down a bit. Then in GB EQ I just take away a bit of the muddy bass and the high tops from my voice and it really does sound a whole lot clearer and better - even though I am far from the best singer you will ever meet!

I thought of my experience when I heard this song of yours - so hope you don't mind me sharing! Cheers!