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Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: Paulski on April 16, 2018, 01:13:46 PM

Title: Coyote - Collab. with Donna Devine
Post by: Paulski on April 16, 2018, 01:13:46 PM
Hi all - This is a song I co-wrote with Donna Devine - a great (Canadian  ;D) lyricist from the Netherlands. She wrote the lyrics and I did the music. Still tweaking the mix but would love to get feedback on the song and arrangement. I know I've been MIA lately but I promise to catch up reviewing anon.  ;D

https://soundcloud.com/paulcanuck/coyote-collab-with-donna


Coyote
Lyrics: Donna Devine
Music: Paul Canuck


 They call him Coyote
 He steals through the night
 His eyes glowing amber
 Like prisms of light

 His fingers are narrow
 His shoulders are strong
 He looks to be human
 Yet doesn’t belong

 Where Coyote goes
 Nobody knows
 Nobody knows
 Where Coyote goes

 He’ll tell you the secrets
 Of life and of death
 Can augur the future
 From a baby’s first breath

 Yet no one is certain
 How Coyote came
 He’ll give you his wisdom
 But never his name

 Where Coyote goes
 Nobody knows
 Nobody knows
 Where Coyote goes

 Women have met with his dangerous charm
 Fallen like angels into his arms
 But later the pillow has nothing to show
 It’s said he can burn your soul with his touch
 It's fire, not blood that runs wild through his veins
 He’ll fathom your heart but his mystery remains

 Where Coyote goes
 Nobody knows
 Nobody knows
 Where Coyote goes

 Nobody knows
…Where Coyote goes
Title: Re: Coyote - Collab. with Donna Devine
Post by: CaliaMoko on April 16, 2018, 02:00:00 PM
Sounds like a good movie track song. I have no nits to pick but I want to let you know I like it a lot. Like, a lot!
Title: Re: Coyote - Collab. with Donna Devine
Post by: tboswell on April 16, 2018, 02:39:32 PM
Perfect bit of atmospheric songwriting and production. Got a bit of a "Nick Cave doing country" vibe about it which is no bad thing as anyone who has heard Red Right Hand knows!

Production is great, especially love the repeating piano line.
The stop to the modulating organ is also super.
Feels a bit timeless, like it has been around for many years.

Keep em' coming Paul!



Title: Re: Coyote - Collab. with Donna Devine
Post by: Skub on April 16, 2018, 03:31:13 PM
Yo Paul.

Good to hear another from you,the last one must have been at least 100 years ago.

I had a little wry smile to myself when listening. Is it your turn to sound like Roy O this month?  :D Takes some of the pressure off me,man those Big O fans get everywhere!

The song could sit well in the soundtrack of any Spaghetti western. Love the little guitar parts,they add to the song. Piano is up to your usual peerless standard.

Lyrics paint a vivid picture,tell a great story and work totally with the music.

It's a hit! Duly liked and reposted on the cloud.  8)
Title: Re: Coyote - Collab. with Donna Devine
Post by: Rightly on April 17, 2018, 08:46:11 AM
Always a show stopper
- in a good way -  lol. 

Always an event when you post something.
You're right the lyricist is exceptional.

Another precious jewel in your crown Paulski.

Made my morning.
Title: Re: Coyote - Collab. with Donna Devine
Post by: cowparsleyman on April 17, 2018, 11:38:03 AM
Just have this vision of a Coyote howling at the moon.

Like the others have said it's reminiscent of a Roy O movie track, a retro western, fade in a close up on a pair of spurs, tumbleweed blowing across the plains. etc.

Apart from some minor tuning issues on vox and acoustic guitar it's well executed.

Nice to hear from you.

cpm

Title: Re: Coyote - Collab. with Donna Devine
Post by: SlavaB on April 17, 2018, 11:43:27 AM
Hi There,

Cant say anything negative in regards to this project, very well made, well mastered, chord progression has been made well too. Vocal sits well where it should sit.

Thank you for sharing your work.
Best Regards,
Slava B.
Title: Re: Coyote - Collab. with Donna Devine
Post by: Jamie on April 17, 2018, 01:09:35 PM
Hi Paul, imperious writing as usual, great chord progressions and fab melody. Playing is great too. The organ before the bridge sounded great and with different lyrics the bridge could have been written and performed by Ian Anderson of Jethro Tull. Brilliant! My only nit was the lyrics went a bit pitchy around the 2.50 mark, but otherwise, great!
Cheers
Jamie
Title: Re: Coyote - Collab. with Donna Devine
Post by: Paulski on April 18, 2018, 08:00:11 PM
Thanks all for the (in)valuable feedback!  ;D

@CaliaMoko (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19928) - cheers Vicki - glad it worked for you  ;D

@tboswell (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20223) - thanks Tom! I'll check out that Nick Cave song.

@Skub (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20061) - cheers Davy - yeah spaghetti western is what I was going for (without even knowing I was  ;D) Roy O eh? Been called worse..  ;D

@Rightly (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20219) - thank you kind sir. Yes Donna can make words flow fo sho  ;D

@cowparsleyman (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21308) Thank you cpm. Yes - needs some fine tuning - time to get out the Waves plug-in  ;D Glad you heard some tumbleweed in there.  ;D

@SlavaB (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19895) - cheers Slava - nice to meet you  ;D

@Jamie (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19125) - thx Jamie - esp about the chord prog - coming from the master at that means a lot. I'll have a look at that spot for pitchiness - don't doubt that it will be  ;D

And thanks again to all for listening and commenting  ;D ;D

Paul



Title: Re: Coyote - Collab. with Donna Devine
Post by: Neil C on April 19, 2018, 06:10:06 AM
Paul,
Good to see you back. Like the feel of this, interesting chords, its a bit different from some of your stuff melody and vocal structure.
Intro sets it out really well and love the bsss and the piano adds atmosphere.
Lyrics are fine and love your vocals, lead and backing. Love that middle section.
Thoughts: wasn't sure the electric guitar added to it it. And a small things on the chorus you go from major to minor on 'Nobody knows' and it sounds between the backing and doubled vocals it sounds a bit tentative at to whether it was going to be minor or major ( both would work ).
Good faded outro
Cool
  :)
Neil
Title: Re: Coyote - Collab. with Donna Devine
Post by: Paulski on April 22, 2018, 05:25:37 PM
Paul,
Good to see you back. Like the feel of this, interesting chords, its a bit different from some of your stuff melody and vocal structure.
Intro sets it out really well and love the bsss and the piano adds atmosphere.
Lyrics are fine and love your vocals, lead and backing. Love that middle section.
Thoughts: wasn't sure the electric guitar added to it it. And a small things on the chorus you go from major to minor on 'Nobody knows' and it sounds between the backing and doubled vocals it sounds a bit tentative at to whether it was going to be minor or major ( both would work ).
Good faded outro
Cool
  :)
Neil
Cheers Neil - I'll look at that major/minor - sometimes I like to walk the line though  ;D Appreciate your comments on the vox and I'm sure Donna will be re the lyrics,

Paul
Title: Re: Coyote - Collab. with Donna Devine
Post by: PaulyX on April 24, 2018, 05:47:49 AM
Super cinematic stuff Paulski.
I really liked the bassline and the chord change / melody as you go into each chorus is striking. Evocative sound and lyrics that should accompany an old school western as others have said.
Title: Re: Coyote - Collab. with Donna Devine
Post by: redrhodie on April 24, 2018, 11:38:11 AM
That really paints a vivid picture. Really enjoyed that.
Title: Re: Coyote - Collab. with Donna Devine
Post by: PaulAds on April 26, 2018, 11:36:47 AM
I’ve had a couple of listens to this one...it didn’t really connect with me the first time around, so I waited a week or so and came back to it.

It’s a really good lyric with some great lines and the playing and production sounds really good...and I like a touch of that big western feel to songs, but despite all of that, I just somehow felt like this wasn’t really you. Don’t know why...it’s good, but you’re usually great  :)
Title: Re: Coyote - Collab. with Donna Devine
Post by: Ashes for Dreams on April 26, 2018, 06:56:59 PM
Sorry for being late to the party :-(
Quality stuff and fab vocals (expected nothing less).
Pretty good mix/production but I agree with what have already been said.
I guess the amount of reverb on the vox sort of fits but I still found it a tad too much.
Same thing goes for the snare, personally I did not like it at all but at the same time I can get why you did it the way you did. Matter of taste of course.
Top drawer stuff in any case!
Title: Re: Coyote - Collab. with Donna Devine
Post by: Cawproductions on April 26, 2018, 07:07:23 PM
Guys, I am late to the party too,

Great track, love the walking bassline. Ha I love all this Roy O stuff, I get the oasis stuff all the time....

Seriously tho, nice track nice arrangement. some fancy vocal and guitars parts too. Always good Piano parts from paul.

Good work

Andy
Title: Re: Coyote - Collab. with Donna Devine
Post by: Movin Flavour on April 30, 2018, 07:51:03 PM
Great track.

Agree with some of the others that this has a real cinematic sound.

Can see this in a Western or Tarantino movie.

Love those guitars and vocals, excellent production.

Good listen.

Sandeep
Title: Re: Coyote - Collab. with Donna Devine
Post by: Katie Wilson on May 01, 2018, 07:50:34 AM
Oh yes got a real western feel about it -  makes me smile - interesting subject - nice and different sound - voice is great and I love all the other little bits .

Yes spaghetti western as someone said

Liked it xxx
Title: Re: Coyote - Collab. with Donna Devine
Post by: Paulski on May 02, 2018, 03:45:19 PM
Cheers all for listening and commenting  ;D ;D

@PaulyX (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21034) - thank you kind sir - now to find the movie.

@redrhodie (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21171)  - cheers - Donna does it up well when it comes to painting a lyrical picture foh shuh  ;D

@PaulAds (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20253)  - haha thanks Paul. Yeah it's only half me I guess. Can't be great all the time, heck I can't even be good part of the time  ;D Cheers for being honest!

@Ashes for Dreams (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21050) cheers my man - too much verb? no waaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyy. Of course you're right, damn you Johan  ;D.

@Cawproductions (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20938) Thanks Andy - not the first to mention Roy O - must be channelling him at times  ;D Glad you liked the piano.

@Movin Flavour (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20528) - much appreciated Sandeep!  ;D

@Katie Wilson (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21305) - cheers Katie. Pass the spaghetti please  ;D

Thanks again to all and to Donna for the lyrics.

Title: Re: Coyote - Collab. with Donna Devine
Post by: mickyplankton on May 02, 2018, 09:10:53 PM
Hi Paulski. Good to hear another song from you. Like Paul Ads I had to listen to this twice to try and make sense of it. It's very impressive on lots of levels, particularly the vocals and backing vox. My challenge listening to it, is that it doesn't quite hang together for me, compared to almost all the rest of your output. It feels part country, part 60s, part choral and whilst there are catchy elements, it's ultimately not as memorable as you are known for.

The other problem you have is that Joni Mitchell also wrote a song Called Coyote, and pretty much nailed that title forever.

Title: Re: Coyote - Collab. with Donna Devine
Post by: adamfarr on May 03, 2018, 12:33:18 PM
Hey Paulski - listened a few times and didn't comment as there's something about this that I'm just not sure about! (Perhaps British people shouldn't be allowed to comment on Western style music ... same goes for Salsa...)


I can't work it out exactly but think it might be a touch too fast for the lyric? Does it slow down about 2'27"? That felt better somehow.

After the intro, I found the 1-2-3-4 bass part also a bit too simple for my taste - I'd sometimes like something a little more spicy. Sorry for that...



The song's good though - really simple and hooky chorus, nice variations all through, and takes us to a great cinematic place...
Title: Re: Coyote - Collab. with Donna Devine
Post by: montydog on May 08, 2018, 04:15:25 PM
Hi Paul,

I was pretty sure I was going to like this before it started and I wasn't wrong. The piano figure is genius - and when you incorporate it into the acoustic guitar it's magic. The lyrics are top notch as is the production and delivery. No nits at all.

M
Title: Re: Coyote - Collab. with Donna Devine
Post by: IronKnee on May 09, 2018, 06:03:55 AM
Hey there Paul.......I think your musical treatment to the lyric is awesome.  The piano is hauntingly inauspicious.
I like the lyric, even with it being unauthentic and predictable.......it fit perfectly with the fluidity and zest of the music.
A great collab., when all is said and done; but, my hat is tipped to your musical ingenuity, on this one!!!!
                                                                                                                  8)-Tom
Title: Re: Coyote - Collab. with Donna Devine
Post by: GinaEllen on May 09, 2018, 01:44:33 PM
In terms of arrangement and lyrics I think it's great, I do think it could be really enhanced by a bigger drum sound and general production over-hall, personally I'm not keen on the triplet hi- hats or the fade out but like you say, you're still working on the mix, great song though, love the BV's too
Title: Re: Coyote - Collab. with Donna Devine
Post by: Paulski on May 16, 2018, 08:56:22 PM
Sorry for the late bump guys - but missed some thank-you's so I hope you'll forgive me:

@mickyplankton (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20769) Thanks for the honest comments Micky. Guess I knew this wouldn't work for everyone. I guess Joni Mitchell shouldn't be worried about competition  ;D ;D

@adamfarr (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20124) Cheers Adam. Not sure it's too fast but maybe feels a bit rushed in places? - I didn't have the same time to practice I normally take so I'm to blame if it is  ;D Glad you found some redeeming elements  ;D

@montydog (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18653) Cheers Alan - great to hear that from you. Glad you liked the piano line - just came from messing around  ;D

@IronKnee (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20409) Thanks Tom - I always find it a challenge to write to someone else's lyrics so I'm glad you felt things fit OK. Yes - hauntingly inauspicious - that's what I was going for!   ;D ;D

@GinaEllen (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22045) Cheers for that. I'm still learning on the drumming/production stuff so appreciate the comments there.

Thanks all for listening and taking the time to comment.  ;D ;D
Paul