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Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: tboswell on April 12, 2018, 10:38:37 AM
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Something a bit out of left field, fancied writing something a little more soulful, more like the Bill Withers records from the 70s.
Seemed to demand something different structurally, chorus first with it acting more like a mantra to return to.
Features more vocal tracks than I've even done (and I've done a lot before!)
Hope you like it!
Tom.
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DEAL WITH THE DEVIL
(T J Boswell)
I tried to make a deal with the Devil
But he don't want my soul
I tried to make a deal with the Devil
But he don't want my soul
I tried to make a deal with the Devil
But he don't want my soul
I tried to make a deal with the Devil
But he don't want, he don't want my soul
I’ve asked the lord to save me oh so many times
But he ain’t ever come through
Seems no one ever had a plan for this broken man
The good word never spoke to
So who do I turn to?
I tried to make a deal with the Devil
But he don't want my soul
I tried to make a deal with the Devil
But he don't want my soul
I tried to make a deal with the Devil
But he don't want my soul
I tried to make a deal with the Devil
But he don't want, he don't want my soul
Every time I find I’m at a crossroads
I hang round a little longer
Now I know just what I’m worth in heaven
on earth I’m bound to wander
No one to lift me up or drag me under
I tried to make a deal with the Devil
But he don't want my soul
I tried to make a deal with the Devil
But he don't want my soul, no more
I tried to make a deal with the Devil
So who do I turn to?
I tried to make a deal with the Devil
And where do I go
Cos I been round this great big world
Looking for a place to call my home
But nobody wants what I got to give, no
No one
No one wants my soul!
© 2018 T J Boswell
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Tom,
Yes you hit bullseye.
Great groove, super chorus and vocals.
Love the bass, guitar break perhaps could do more strings?
Top production too.
:)
Neil
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Definitely got the vibe straight away.
Hints of Bill Withers and Solomon Burke....and Late Temptations.
This is amazing,
Vocals so diverse and raw....great guitars and love the mix at the end.
If the Temptation sung this they would be jumping in the Aisle....
👍👏👏
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As cool as can be.
Didn’t totally grab me the first time I listened...so I knew I’d have to listen again, maybe give my head a shake and perhaps cotton bud my lugs in order to wise up and like it more...and sure enough...
The layered vocals are great...the overall vibe is spot on and although it’s a genre I never quite connected with...it’s a super song and sounds fantastic. Lyrics are well crafted and the attention to detail is impressive. I think it’s your instinctive grasp of what you’re doing that I admire the most.
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Love it Tom. The Gospel vocals are so well suited to the dirty scratchy bass. Theres a touch of George Michael in the vocals which works so well. I absolutely loved it. It's clever, well thought out and different and a lot of work has gone into it. Top quality
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Good wibe and production and I think you really managed to accomplish what you set out to do.
One thing I would like to comment is that chorus 1 and 2 seems a bit dragged out. I would have edited it down to just repeating "I tried to make a deal with the Devil
But he don't want my soul" two times and gone directly into the verse. That is, remove the part between 00:14 and 00:31.
And maybe change "I’ve asked the lord to save me oh so many times But he ain’t ever come through" to "... But he ain’t ever compromise" just for the flow of it.
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I love it! You have a talent man! :)
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Hmmm...this is a genre I love so this was pushing against an open door for me. It's like nothing I've ever heard on here before. Sublime vocals and the whole thing has such an authentic feel. The multi-tracked vocals work perfectly which could only be enhanced by The Sweet Inspirations on BV's but they are all dead now-:(
What more can I say - give me an album of this and I'd be in heaven.
M
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that was a fun listen.
really like it when the the little instrumental surprises kick in.
I'd have liked a little more of that.
Very atmospheric.
reminds me of Gil-scott Heron in parts.
Well done.
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(not read any other comments so don't know if this has been touched upon)
I heard the first few bars and... I immediately thought "70's porn movie"! :-[ I'm proud to admit I'm a perv for the porn and have seen enough of the stuff from that era to appreciate its dulcet tones. ;D
Not my usual genre but I liked this (possibly the drink affecting me...).
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Yo Tom.
Yo been down to the crossroads with Mr. J? ;)
This song would suggest you have done the deal,despite what you say.
I loved it so much I reckon it was worth your soul.
Quality. :)
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Nailed it! That's superb, that is. Nothing to say, other than the tiniest of nitpicks which was I thought there may be a bit too much repetition of the key line earlier on (before we're hypnotised by the groove). But I only mention it because I want to mention something. Brilliant.
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Hi Tom
What a great song - not my usual listening style, but this is sooo easy to like, it is really infectious. I do love the break out guitar, the multi layered vocals of course, the bass is down and dirty!
Hypnotic and wonderful.
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Thanks so much for listening all! Glad it is generally hitting the spot for people :)
Some truly flattering comparisons in the comments, I am not worthy!
@Neil C (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18856)
Love the bass, guitar break perhaps could do more strings?
I've never been accused of skimping on the strings before! Next time I'll chuck the who orchestra at it :D
@Sterix (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22024)
I heard the first few bars and... I immediately thought "70's porn movie"!
That is so going to be my next project! Lots of wah wah guitars....Wahcca, Wahcca :-*
@Skub (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20061)
This song would suggest you have done the deal,despite what you say.
Usually have a Labrador on my tail rather than a hell hound.
(http://www.capitaldogcare.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/img2-1.jpg)
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Great job Tom! It’s always fun trying different styles & u really nailed this one. :D
You smashed the vocal....sss! You make a nice gospel choir mate! The musics perfect, great bass especially. I loved how you ended it, very cool!
It’s not a nit, but I wonder if it’s a touch long? I know it’s only 3.45 which is nothing, but, even with the various change ups you use (which are ace) , it “feels” to me, like there’s a couple too many repeats of the chorus. Like I said, it’s not a nit, but I’m just explaining how I felt on my listens.
I hope that helps, awesome stuff. :D
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I heard the first few bars and... I immediately thought "70's porn movie"!
That is so going to be my next project! Lots of wah wah guitars....Wahcca, Wahcca :-*
But will there be a video to go along with the music?!! :o
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Hi Tom,
Very cool song! Loved the backing vocals and your vocal delivery was spot on!
I was tapping my feet before you went into the first verse which is always a good sign for me.
I could imagine someone like George Michael would have loved to sing this one for you. Sadly he's not with us anymore.
I also think that singer Will Young he's done a few soulfull songs and he too i think would enjoy singing this song.
Great job!
Johnny :)
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I heard the first few bars and... I immediately thought "70's porn movie"!
That is so going to be my next project! Lots of wah wah guitars....Wahcca, Wahcca :-*
But will there be a video to go along with the music?!! :o
Certainly not featuring me!
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I heard the first few bars and... I immediately thought "70's porn movie"!
That is so going to be my next project! Lots of wah wah guitars....Wahcca, Wahcca :-*
But will there be a video to go along with the music?!! :o
Certainly not featuring me!
Luckily for me I've shaved my 70's porn 'tache off... count me out too! :D
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Holy crap. this is really great. Awesome production, vocals, instrumentation...is that a real choir?! or a bunch of you?? I love the way it sounds. I always want to get the perfect backing vocals and make it sound like a choir but man you nailed it. Love the tempo change and everything. This song can be summed up in a word: COOL.
Awesome!!!
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Superb, really spot on and beautifully put together.
Haven't read any of the other posts on this, so excuse me if I repeat what they say.
Love the bass, and guitar, LVox fit perfectly.
1:11 might benefit from some thin legato strings, doesn';t need a huge swathe (to give it that '70s's feel) with the same amount of verb as the BVox in the verse. The BVox have way too much verb on them, it might be better to apply a little verb over the whole thing at mastering, a little goes a LONG way, almost imperceptable, so you'd just notice it if it were removed.
A wacka wacka wah wah in there too maybe going towards the end?
Hope it helps, nice to hear something in this genre, it's not easy to pull this off.
Nice solo guitar work.
I'll take this floppy wide brimmed hat with a chiffon band off now.
cpm
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Very catchy bass and mantra-chorus...! The one thing that struck me was that everything seemed to stop very suddenly in the transition to the verses (this may be an inevitable by-product of starting with a funky chorus - the energy inevitably feels a bit lower). I wondered if starting the vocal a couple of beats before ("don't you know I"... or "let me tell you" or some ad lib...) could make this feel smoother? Dunno, just a (very small) thought.
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Cool song, I like the vocals here. I believe such a track can be successful on BBC introducing show.
Keep up with a hard work. by the way is the vocal yours ?
Thanks.
Best Regards,
Slava B.
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Man, that was proper FONKY.
Have you heard Michael Kiwanuka's stuff? It's ace, and he'd be jealous of this. Really authentic sounding. You got deep soul, dude.
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Oh yes - what a great voice and a great song to go with it ;D
This is well above my reviewing station, but I will agree with Delboy about the hook repetition early on. It's not a "problem", but it did tweak a thought. More funk than gospel - reminded me of "Don't Put the Blame on Me" by somebody on the charts recently ;D Oh, and the bass is amazing - did you play that yourself? Colour me Green with envy.
Paul
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Oh, this is fun. Well conceived and executed. Good job. Can't offer any criticism.
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Oh yes - what a great voice and a great song to go with it ;D
This is well above my reviewing station, but I will agree with Delboy about the hook repetition early on. It's not a "problem", but it did tweak a thought. More funk than gospel - reminded me of "Don't Put the Blame on Me" by somebody on the charts recently ;D Oh, and the bass is amazing - did you play that yourself? Colour me Green with envy.
You are so worthy, and have much to teach us all Sir!
On the subject of the bass, all synthesised!!! It's a Rickenbacker Bass VST Native Instruments do. I love a cheat ::)
Have you heard Michael Kiwanuka's stuff? It's ace, and he'd be jealous of this.
Yeah, I love what he did with Black Man In White World. That was the vibe I was going toward, or at least the things that inspired him since I'm that old!
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mega! love that chorus man and those guitars!!