The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: PaulAds on April 11, 2018, 09:14:33 AM
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Howdy
Whilst trying to write an album of songs in February, I read that one day in February was “international clash day” so they suggested that you try to write the song in the style of the clash, or as a tribute to the Clash...and with them being arguably my favourite band, I thought “yes I’m having some of that”.
I found an MP3 on YouTube of Nick “Topper” Headon’s fantastic drum track to the clash’s complete control which is probably my favourite clash single and I set about trying to write a song around the drum track...
I really loved making this song. It was a fascinating way to try and write something because the structure was absolutely set in stone. I put a few little touches in, mimicking the original which I’ve included a link to, if any of you want to treat yourselves...
Outnumbered, But Never Out-Clashed
Jonesy says to Joe
You wanna join the show?
Strummer says OK
Paul learns to play
Terry is gone
Topper comes along
And Bernie can’t do right for doing wrong
Signed off the dole
Out on parole
Take it on trust
Sandy bites the dust
And there’s Johnny Green
He helps to keep things mean
and fires up the heart attack machine
Kings for a day
The US of A
Ran out of road
Watched it explode
Too perfect to last
too much for the past
Outnumbered but never Out-Clashed
Much Too perfect to last
Outnumbered but never Out-Clashed
Much too much for the past
Outnumbered but never Out-Clashed
The original of The Clash “Complete Control” is here
Thanks for listening...sorry i was rambling a bit :)
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Clever idea for a song - works well.
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excellent
It's only recently I've started to really listen to the clash
I always assumed they were very punky, now I see them as pop with a good attitude.
(just too much reggae in there for me :o)
I suppose they were a big influence on you.
I was listening to your song earlier
different train different track
I really enjoyed that one too.
Keep 'em comin' :D
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You definitely captured the feel! It does sound like a fun track to record.
The one thing I would question - and it's obviously also personal taste - is the FX you've applied on the main vocals. Seems far too much and very long and echoed. I'd expect the vocals in something like this to be more up-front and in your face. Having the vocals sound so far removed takes away some of the attitude of the performance. And I think that in turn makes it sound less raw. Personally I'd go for the practice room sound instead, i.e. much shorter.
(just too much reggae in there for me :o)
Pff, Guns of Brixton is one of my favourites. But then I like dub a lot.
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For some reason The Clash were never quite my bag. Appreciated them but never truly loved them it seemed.
Like this though, the sound you have on those guitars is really lively and spitting our some real power!
Bass and drums sound raw and alive.
Love the little section where we can hear you talking about your guitar, can't quite catch what you are saying but it just adds to the live feel.
The harmony lead guitar lines at the end are really nice too, without sounding like Brian May (which is always a bit much...)
A great slice of ragged power pop that's right up my street.
Thanks Paul! :)
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Absolute stonker Paul. You have got The Clash vibe nailed 100% Complete Control changed my life, it's an essential listen. Can't say much more apart from i wish that there was a lot more music around like this instead of the (generally) soft, safe stuff that is out there today.
Anybody who hasn't checked out The Clash..
Do it. A lot of diversity in the later albums and some of the dub stuff with Mikey Dread is awesome
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Brilliant homage to a unique legendary band. Love the spikey energy in this.
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Hello mate,
I hate to admit that I’ve barely heard of the clash....eek! My mum raised me on the carpenters and John Denver!! :o ;D
Saying that, I listened to your track and then I listened to the clash (the link you put at the bottom) and I think you absolutely nailed their vibe mate.
The guitars were great, but you won me over with your vocal delivery. It was a hell of a performance mate! I think you captured their vocal fx style aswell, in fact, your vocal is way more up front than theirs.
Now this next bits gonna be controversial, but sod it! :P Like I said, I know maybe one clash song....but,if you put these songs side by side and asked me which I prefer, well I’m sorry, but yours wins mate!
Congrats on an awesome track mate and what a fun little challenge aswell. :D
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This rocks my Casbah.
Definitely the vocals and beat....excellent guitar playing.
Very cleaver lyrics.
Brilliant
Sandeep
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Paul, great title and loads of energy which worked with the drum track.
I liked the clash although maybe this wouldn't be my favourite, indeed I think yours maybe better. For me I just would have liked a bit more of a stonking chorus..
Neat ending too.
Why not share the link to the drum track?
Anyway going to have another listen to you in your natural environment
:)
Neil
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Aye...thanks, everyone...this is pretty much what I do once or twice a week...it perhaps suits my voice more than some of the softer stuff I write...but after about 35 of these type of songs at a gig, my voice is pretty much whacked :)
The drum track is here, Neil
I wondered at the time if something like this could be the basis for a future forum competition...?
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Quite brilliant in my opinion. I have always enjoyed your voice but this has all of the hallmarks of quality songwriting. The words are not squeezed or clumsy, they fit the song structure perfectly and are engaging throughout. I also love the simplicity of the production as it reminds me that elaborate productions aren't always necessary. I really enjoyed listening.
Wicked!
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Wow, this is a clever, novel way to write a song. I loved the way you told the story of the band's history with a handful of lines with no superfluous waffle. The rhythm guitar track is brilliant as is the vocal. In fact, the whole thing is brilliant. It is a lot better than many Clash songs IMHO. This has to be a contender for SOTM. Very, very clever.
M
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Enjoyed this. Good song.
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Think you've done a great job with this Paul, there's no way I would have know that the drums and the rest of the track weren't born together.
Not only does the song drape perfectly around them but you've mixed and blended it seemlessly as well.
Quite ironic really because you've definitely captured the sound of the clash, without a clash in sight.
Very well done.
Yodasdad
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Neat idea....and as a Clash devotee it must have been a call to arms to answer the challenge.
Like those guitar breaks...especially the first one with that bit at about 1.01 where it resolves the phrase quite melodically after the first attack notes....does it remind me of something...is this you or was this a nod to The Clash in some way.
Verse melodies quite melodic for The Clash....and chorus reminds me of PaulAds mainly!
Funny you being such a devotee....they were a band that i just sort of managed to live without (though my younger bro had the first album)....they're not alone there of course....just the way it happened!
Great energy. Still kills me what one can knock up in one's front room these days!
Competition idea in what way....we all have to start with a drum track and build from there?
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Ta...yeah...have a pre-ordained drum track all ready to go and then everyone goes off and writes a song around that...just a thought :)
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So....all work from the same track....yeah be interesting to see what different things come out of it.
And it would save me/us having to agonise over the drums!
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Sounds a great idea
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Yeah let's do it...
This same drum track since we've already got one example?
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Really enjoyed this Paul! And it's a great idea...
I think you've done brilliantly with the lyrics. Simple yet the message is clear and punchy. You guitar playing and vocal are great as usual! It's a very good track
I would be very keen on a competition around a drum track, bring it on!! :P
All the best
Darren
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Yo Paul.
What can I say about this?
Might the Clash be the subject matter? (he asks innocently)
Driving,energy filled,great sound and with your usual peerless trademark lyrical integrity.
Bangin' guitar solo,in the style of your heroes.
Love it. :)
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Hi Paul,
I really enjoyed this one! :)
Loved the lyrics! You told a great story that kept my interest. :)
The music was solid and your vocal delivery was excellent.
The hardest thing to do is deliver a new song vocally but you did it justice!
The only thing here that i would look at is a structure thing. From the moment it began i was hooked, A great build up
and then just as we get to the chorus the song goes somewhere else?
You wander off to a solo kinda thing. Like i said it is a structure thing. IMO It was begging to hit the chorus at that point so i would go to the chorus and put the solo part just after it before going back to your verses. I wanted the resolution after such a great build up but you didn't give it to me at that point which left me wondering why are we here and not in the chorus?
It's a minor detail and it's all subjective for sure.
Either way you take this song it still works.
Great song with great lyrics and a solid beat.
Keep em coming! You write from the heart which is something i am into big time so congratulations on another fine song.
Johnny :)
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Well this was a big treat for me this morning as I got my phone data back (after being offline for 2 weeks) and what a song to dive back into the forum!
Very, very clever and innovative idea and executed brilliantly. You couldn't have picked a better inspiration. The Only Band that Matters. In some ways, it's even better than the original. (And I regard Complete Control, especially the Live version from From Here to Eternity as one of the essential punk anthems)
You've got a crackin vocal melody going on at the beginning, and it sustains the quality craftsmanship throughout the 3 minutes. Works brilliantly. You've set a new bar here Paul. Where do you go from here?
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Hey Paul
Well no-one is going to out-clash you on this one :D
Seriously, great tight punchy sound - like the vox esp.
Lyrics are a hoot.
Fun stuff :D
Paul
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Hi Paul, I never really got into the clash, but this is a very good and clever song in their style. Great lyrics and playing. Vocals fitted the style too!
Very good!
Cheers
Jamie