The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: pompeyjazz on April 08, 2018, 06:00:17 PM
-
Great to have worked on this song with @Wicked Deeds (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19231)
Here's some notes about the song from Paul....
I have many songs that I have written over the years that I never really get around to recording. In fact I've misplaced whole albums because of this. Perhaps I should force myself to make rough recordings or at least write down the chords to songs that I intend to revisit eventually. lost was written about four years ago. Its a straight forward no nonsense kind of song, a simple message delivered with easy to play chords and a heartfelt melody. it's an honest account of my feelings as a I tried to conduct a distance relationship spanning from one side of the country to the other. Fast forward four years and it is now more poignant than ever after recent events in my life that I will still hopefully sort out. A song for someone that I love dearly. It captures a yearning to belong that embraces a feeling of being lost. After making a start on the production of this song, circumstances in my life wouldn't allow me to finish the recording but I knew a chap who was certainly up for the task and so John stepped in to steer this one home.
It's funny how music opens up doors to forge new friendships. I think that's true for both John and I. We have both been writing for many years and I think that we both kind of get each other quite well. This is a true collaboration. We both worked quickly and understood what we needed to do to make this work. A big thank you to pompeyjazz. I am sure the will be more to come when I am able access my studio toys again.
I'm hoping to make a full return to the forum soon but for now, I've much to sort out. I'd like to say a huge thank you t John. We are both delighted with this song.
"Lost, where is home?
Call the cops, use my phone."
Wicked
Lyrics
Lost
I've got the winter roads and the darkest night
that keep the woman that I love away from me.
I've got the thoughts that plague a worried man
and that longing look of love.
She's like a graceful dove,
there in the skies above
and I'm lost.
Don't let our love become a casualty.
Let wisdom be where it should be.
If your still waiting on the answer,
then wait for me.
I've got a lonely mile to walk before we meet.
I keep on polishing these shoes until the leather cracks.
I've got a worn out map that guides me back and forth;
may it always take me home.
I'm a refugee,
not the guy to be,
I'm lost.
Don't let the moonlight fool your aching heart.
Let wisdom be where it should be.
If your still waiting on the answer,
then wait for me.
Lost, where is home?
Call the cops, use my phone.
Lost, don't know where.
Maybe, you'll take my hand,
Perhaps you'll care
I've got the winter roads and the darkest night
That keep the woman that I love away from me.
away from me.
away from me.
Written by Paul Vasey
-
Nice song and love the lyrics. Great collab.
-
Good collaboration John and Paul.
I like the way you sing in this tune.
Excellent lyrics...convey how you are feeling.
Nice production.
Sandeep
-
I wasn't sure I'd like this as it started, but I really do. It grew on my as it went. It's actually really pretty.
-
Hi,
Lots to like hear. Smart wordsmith and a nice whistful backing track with the strings and tremelodoed guitars. And those piano arpeggiation- I'm making those up now..
The instrumentation, melody and vocals all support the effective telling of the love story.
Good work and good luck
:)
Neil
-
Hi, nice collaboration, sounded a bit prefab sprouty! Nice work guys enjoyed it!
Cheers
Jamie
-
Really classy, this one!
Sounded really lush with lovely vocals and I liked the trem guitar a lot too.
Very good lyrics rounded off a top quality collab...great stuff, chaps :)
-
Good production and melody, good job lads.
-
Really love this guys. i'm afraid I skipped through the written intro a bit quick at first and thought PJ was singing....thought bloody hell he's making a great job of this...got the voice off to a t!
Neat song indeed! Love the vocal in this one Paul....really sounding good. Melody is wonderful and delivered beautifully.
Nice pace to the song and the trembly guitar adds to a nicely done atmosphere and those low guitar notes especially nice in the arpeggy sections.
Probably my fave of yours Paul...at the moment certainly!
Top marks boys.....super song and it sounds great.
-
Very classy.
Excellent work gentlemen!
Very inventive lyrics, irresistibly charming.
-
Great job guys! It’s always better when you can write what you really feel innit Paul? Great job mate.
John, you sound great mate, the melody is lovely and your arrangement is very good. (I get a Beautiful South vibe from this. :D)
A couple of observations if I may...the main thing for me that I found a little distracting is the sound of the strum on the acoustic guitar? So, it’s not the chord that’s distracting, but the actual strum. If it were my track I’d try to remedy that somehow...god knows how, id have to experiment, but I’d start with eq I guess...
The other thing,that might just be my ears, but the Lead Vocal seemed a bit louder towards the end? :)
Anyway, no one else has mentioned these things, so I might just be going nuts, but that’s what I’ve got for ya. ;D
Congrats on a great collab.
Leo
-
What a great sound. The driving tempo - perfect to get our attention and pull us in (even though it may or may not be about driving). The ghostly BVs - fantastic idea and really give us a feeling of an "internal voice", excellent. The bass - woody and dramatic. The sequencer (I'll call it that!) - gives a bit of a timeless feel split between 80s and today and lifts the chorus just when needed: great touch. Melody - wistful and sensitive, a real Wicheddeeds characteristic and really sets off the driving rhythm.
But oh hell, I am going to be in a minority of one again. I've listened so many times but there's something that just doesn't connect with me here. Love you both, but have to be honest. I'm not sure why but if I had to point to one thing it might be the change in point of view from "the woman that I love" to "wait for me", addressing her. I think that for me maybe that diluted and confused the message a bit and made it harder for me to engage with the admittedly mixed) emotions. Could changing "she" in the first verse to "you" make all the difference? Not sure.
Sorry to end with a negative, so much quality here. All meant in the spirit of creativity.
-
That start made me jump! The standard on this forum has got stupidly good - this could come off any pro label signed band's album. It is an incredibly dense, detailed production - must have taken bloody ages. A real audio treat and one that would bear repeated listenings. The only thing I don't like are the harmony/backing vocals. I don't think they add anything and i find them distracting and a little annoying. Apart from that - bleedin' genius.
M
-
Yo Paul and John.
There's a vague familiarity which triggers when listening to this song. It's a comforting sound of 'I know this from old'. Some trick,if ya knew how to repeat it.
The song is greater than the sum of it's parts,which are in themselves quite considerable.
A lovely,warm listen. Well done you pair of old dogs. :)
-
That was lovely gents, thought it was really well produced and the "call the cops" line is genius. Made me think of Prefab Sprout a bit. It just sounds pure and friendly. Great collab, I have no improvements to suggest.
-
good to hear you up temp pv with some sproutlyness
a spring in the backing track with your signature gleam & sheen
like the melody
contrasted with the lyric which give your troubles away..
vocal presence with a sincere 'bite your lip' edge to it drives the song
fine collabb
-
Absolute standout collaboration - very classy, the interweaving melodies and lovely laid back vibe had me hooked. The production sounds great on my speakers. Engaging vocal delivery. I tell you what though, like @montydog (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18653) , I didn't get the backing vocals either, it's just personal choice I guess.
A piece to be truly proud of.