The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Works in Progress => Topic started by: delb0y on March 30, 2018, 08:04:01 AM
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Whilst writing the latest western I started pondering on what might have happened to Jesse James's possessions and came up with this one. As ever with me, it's a really simple melody, a basic arrangement, and one take.
https://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=13710706 (https://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=13710706)
The Dry Rain
I got caught in the dry rain, one summer’s night on the Missouri plain
She told me she had a boy’s name, when I asked her what she said “Jesse… James
“Named after my great grand-pa, who never took no for an answer
“He roamed these lands near and far, see him still in the midnight stars”
Blue eyes, setting sun
Mountain time, and the mustangs run
Towards her.
Because they know.
“I’ve still got his silver spurs, they’re still shining despite the years
“I wore them once on my old girl, you’d have thought she could have run the whole wide world
“Cousin Jake’s still got his gun, and a love letter from 1861
“I read it once in the evening sun, had a moonshine dream that I was the one"
Blue eyes, setting sun
Mountain time, and the mustangs run
Towards her.
Because they know.
“Folks round here say I’ve got his eyes, when the sun is low it’s like he’s still alive”
“They’re holding onto something and it’s no surprise, in the mission hall his coat still hangs high
“There’s blood in the earth and there’s blood in our veins, blood on the tracks, and blood in the rain
“We breathe the same air over again, Jesus Christ and Jesse James”
Blue eyes, setting sun
Mountain time, and the mustangs run
Towards her.
Because they know.
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Hi Del
Nice arrangement and prod.
Can't add anything.
cpm
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Lovely guitar playing, for me the voice sounds like it has quite a lot of reverb, you've got a good voice I'd like to hear it with less effects.
You really do sing the song with lots of vocal nuances which is lovely.
Would be so nice to hear a band behind you, I would take my wife for a dance :)
It's really good for me musically and lyrically the imagery is really strong.
We'll done.
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Thanks both - really appreciate you listening and commenting. I tend to drop my (infrequent) songs in the WIP forum these days as I don't have the skills or inclination to create a full blown production. A band behind this one would be nice - someone elsewhere mentioned they could imagine a steel guitar part. Maybe one day!
Cheers
Derek
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Sounds excellent Del. Your voice sounds a bit different.....must be a while since I heard you is all maybe.
I like the harmony vocals but a bit of a strain to hear so I'd turn them up a bit.....they are there aren't they or am I having an aural hallucination?
Not much to say about it otherwise. Nice song....guitar and vocal both great. A pleasure to listen.
Doesn't really need a full blown production anyway but yeah that would be interesting to hear. You play the harp don't you? A bit of plaintive harp would be nice.
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Hi Viscount! Good to hear from you. Thanks for the positive feedback.
The vocals were done very quietly and close (so as not to disturb the household) - maybe that's the difference? And yes there are some harmonies - deliberately very quiet as I'm no singer... ;) Actually I'm quite fond of putting things so low in the mix they're suggested rather than heard.
Cheers
Derek
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Is there a bit of vocal noise just at the pickup from the intro? Sounds like you've got the sound of you opening your mouth still in there.
Vocals also sound like a bit of EQ could make a world of difference. Just a bit rumbly in parts.
I know you wrote that you're not that bothered about the production side, but it's not like you need to do much here to take it up another level. It's a great song after all.
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Hi delb0y!
Nice song! Would sound good with some slowly played piano.
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The beginning recalled to mind Bon Jovi's Ride Cowboy Ride. I think it was partly the subject matter and partly the type of guitar. :P
I like this one. Nice, relaxing, well played/sung.
Lovely lyrics too. Really well told.
(Just been listening again and have to amend - really, really good song!).
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Thanks steevm, Martinswede, and Sterix. Really appreciate you taking time to listen and to your comments. Made me happy :-)
Cheers
Derek
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Hi Derek
This is real class. Such a lovely song and sounds great, nothing to add from me. It's a brilliant performance that doesn't need a big production at all. I love the simplicity to your music - just some guitars and some vocals! Works really well especially with your vocal.
Worthy of the finished section but will be interesting to see where you decide to go with this
Cheers
Darren
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I really like the way you delay the rhyme (e.g. in "James" and "stars" in the first verse). It's a neat trick, providing a great hook to an already great song.
AMB