The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: pnb on February 11, 2018, 03:13:12 PM
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I wrote this song when my son seemed to have everything going against him. Whichever way he turned every door seemed closed. The song is about the pain you feel when you see your child hurting. I changed it to be about a daughter so that he wouldn't realise it was about him!
This side of love Gave me no hope
This side of love Came home today
Eyes that could not shine
For the life she left behind
Opened up her soul and threw her smile away
Broken and divided
The lies that she decided to believe
Battered, bruised and bleeding
Your heart will take some healing yes it’s true my love
But, tomorrow is another day
This child of mine
everything I have
She fills the void I have within
Driving me insane
To see her in this pain
She’ll never leave my arms again
Broken and divided
The lies that she decided to believe
Battered, bruised and bleeding
Your heart will take some healing yes it’s true my love
But, tomorrow is another day
Finally united
An end to all the fighting and the pain
Battered, bruised and bleeding
Your heart will take some healing yes it’s true my love
But, tomorrow is another day
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I think that it's great - you're voice is really good and clear and works with the music , I think it's just a lovely song , with words that come from within which means much more , not much else I can say but well done X X
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Tinge of the bond orchestra in the intro and then into a great ballad. Very nice bass sound and playing and of course vocals and harmonies.
The rhyme scheme works well with the tail after the second rhyme. Nice idea for a song, well realised and very listenable (and hopeful!).
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I agree with your opinion very much.
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Very nicely done: understated but very effective. I also got the Bond theme feel .... really good production that supports the vocalist.
Well done,
Kevin
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Hi,
That was brilliant! Heartfelt and delivered with a great vocal! Simply wonderful! :)
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Hi Pnb,
Really nice and smooth vocal, sits well with the track. Great work.
Not my theme but a really well done track,
Andy
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Hi,
Good tune and lyrics, well produced and you've got a great voice. Its not easy being a parent..
Thought: the intro was to long before you started to sing and I was less keen o the lines where you doubled your lead vocal towards the end.
:)
neil
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You can tell a song is good when you can sing along by the second verse at the first time of hearing... which I did so with this one. Very soulful and poignant.