The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: shadowfax on February 01, 2018, 09:38:37 AM
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A song about a guy dreaming of the girl he hopes to meet...
in the key of G major I believe...if you take a listen, I thank you :) :)
**Edited by Boydie to use the SOUNDCLOUD embedding feature**
Em...................G....
all my thoughts are aglow,
.....D..................Em.........
in a forest filled with dreams,
....................G.....
with a glint in her eye's,
......D......
I can see her,
............Em.....D
amongst the trees,
D..................G............D
in the mist of the morning sun,
D.....................C....
shines her molten red hair,
Am................G....
she moves like an angel,
G.........D..................Em....
I hope tommorrow,she will be there,
Em...............G....
I can't hear the words,
G......D......
of the vision,
D....Em..........
that calls to me,
Em................G........D..........F.....
it's a full symphony in a time yet to come,
F..C..........
I see her face,
C..G.............
I reach to touch,
G.....D.................C....Am
but I cannot hold the future,
Am...........G....
I hope and I pray,
G......D...................Em...
that tommorrow will be the day.
Dm...........C....G
I call on lonely,
G.........Am.........
leave me alone to be,
Am..F...........G.......
a flame, with a passion,
G.....C.G.....
never known,
Dm.........C.....G
this desolation,
G......Am....
in isolation,
Am....F.....G....
can't be forever,
G...........C.G..
just let me go,
Key change...
F#m..................A....
all my thoughts are aglow,
A....E..................F#m...
in a forest filled with dreams,
F#m.................A.....
with A glint in her eye's,
A.....E......
I can see her,
E...........F#m...E
Amongst the trees,
E..................A............E
in the mist of the morning sun,
E.................D........
shines her molten red hair,
Bm................A....
she moves like an angel,
A........E..................F#m.....
I hope tomorrow,she will be there...©KNmac
best, Kevin :) :)
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Sorry, I have nothing of practical value to say. I listened, I loved.
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Haunting production, the highlight for me being the acoustic (or 12 string?) guitar. Someone retro progressive feel, like the melodic phase of the Moody Blues career, maybe.
Some very dramatic vocals there when you change pace too, then counterpointed by the understated ending. Skill! ;)
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Another pretty song. The only thing I might change, and of course this is just me looking through a microscope to find something to suggest, is the word molten. I think fire red hair would be pretty, make me think of the sun reflecting off it, and not make me think her hair has melted to her head. Haha. But you know I'm weird. Probably no one else will have that reaction to the word.
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Atmospheric, almost a hypnotic beat to it. Well sung, great instrumentation, well mixed, professional sheen to the production. I really like this.
I listened through twice and there is no obvious "hook" as such...which may not matter. The song would fit in really well as part of a 20 minute prog opus. I mean that as a compliment Kevin, I really do! You need to write the other 16 and a half minutes!
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Love this! Think someone said already that it's haunting. All the acoustic guitar is lush. Sounds absolutely perfect. What I would say is I don't get that big hit I expected when the full and sound came in. Drums were a little quiet for me. Probably worth bringing the overall volume of the intro down slightly so when everything kicks in it really hits hard. It would be more dynamic that way too.
Vocals sound amazing as always. Nice work!
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Hi I thought that it was a nice song , I thought that voice was good as well , I think it's one that would grow on me the more that I listened
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So much air in it. Makes a feeling of a breeze at the edge of a mountain next to an ocean. Love it, nice structure and sound quality.
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Hey Shadowfax. Another quality piece to add to your prolific track record. You are very consistent with the quality of your production . Agree with Jack that the backing music is a little light relative to the vocals. It's basically all about the vocals this one. Just as well you have a belting voice! Not many could pull this off.
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Thanks for the kind comments peeps...
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Yo Kev.
Love the folky/medieval intro...it's a film score if ever there was one. Kinda John Barry influenced too. I love JB's stuff.
I think you were totally right to follow your heart in the detail of this one.
Memorable and evocative. 8)
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Really like the insistent drums in this. They aren't taking any prisoners once they arrive. Nice big balladry mate with good contrasting dynamics between the sections.
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Loved it Kev, especially when the monks got kicked out by the killer guitars. You've created a great ambience on this track. Another one on my fave list :)
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Thanks for listening and commenting guys and John, the comment about the monks getting kicked out by the guitars made me laugh out loud mate... :)
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great mix mr fax
really solid and satisfying
excellent vocals
enjoyed the opening but didnt grab me till the drums and your voice came in big time
big sound
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A beautiful and moving song well produced and sung enjoyed the listen.
Cheers
Royston
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A beautiful sundscape. Great power in the song. I hear it as an album track. It could be part of a great concept album that tell some an on-going story from one song to the next. Musically, there is a strong element of fantasyland that supports the aforementioned idea.
Paul
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Flawless as expected from you Kevin
I really like the guitar and synth work in this - stellar!
Paul
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Hi Kevin, another excellent production,great atmosphere very airy. Nice acoustic guitar sound too. Vocals up to your normal high standard! What's not to like?
Cheers
Jamie
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Hi,
I really enjoyed listening to your song! :)
My only recommendation would be to cut the reverb back on your vocal. This would push your voice forward in the mix more. It will also add more clarity for your lyrics to the listener. Please don't be scared of showcasing your vocal. Putting lots of reverb on vocals is a common mistake. You do not need to hide your voice. Remember that no matter how good the music is a song is all about the vocal and you have a great voice so please don't drown it in reverb because you really do not need to do that.
Johnny :)
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Reminds me of Enya. Tangerine Dream, and someone I can't place.
When tightened, this will be a very nice piece. Well done
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I didn't like it at all
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I didn't like it at all
That's helpful. Great contribution.
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Hi Kevin,
Another great sounding song. It has that indefinable something which makes your stuff so compelling. I loved the instrumentation and the arrangement. It doesn't really have a hook to remember it by but when it's happening, it's great. You have a very deep well of ideas, a large bucket and lot's of rope!
M
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kev,
another of your hypnotic tunes which builds and builds. epic intro, liking hearing your vocals more up front and like the quieter outro.
:)
neil
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Hi Kevin,
impressive song and playing. I'd have preferred a bit more oomph in the low end but that may be my system. It sounds a little like Big County, not a bad thing at all.
Keith