The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: pnb on January 20, 2018, 01:07:11 PM
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Hi everyone,
This song is, on the surface, a simple pop song. However, the narrative is more substantial (and dark).
Essentially the song is about understanding the affect that other people can have on each other and how that can be destructive. Each individual is then left with a choice; step back and reframe your experience or head to oblivion through the (over) consumption of anything to numb the pain. Blue Horizon is a metaphor for some sort of anaesthetic oblivion. A destination that guarantees personal annihilation.
And all of this in a mid-tempo, Take That/Erasure/Scissor Sisters style 90's pop song. :D
Enjoy!
Paul
Lyrics
Strange where life leads you Shooting down stars
Love can only break your heart Don’t believe them
Idle lies make for broken souls
Living life on your own
Darker nights can only leave you in the cold night air Standing by yourself, like you don’t care
Give a little love to save your soul, make another choice for freedom
In a different light you won’t see them
Find another place to speak your mind, open up your life to reason
Inside out, decide......I just step into the
Blue Horizon
Where the ocean meets the sky, Into the...
Blue Horizon,
I will run with you
Silent victims, they’re falling apart
Breaking down into your heart-break pieces
Signing on the line
Like they don’t mind.
Give a little love to save their soul make another choice for freedom
In a different time you won’t see them
Find another place to speak your mind Open up your life to reason
Inside out, decide You just step into the
Blue Horizon
Where the ocean meets the sky, into the
Blue Horizon
I will run with you, won’t you step into the
Blue Horizon
Where the ocean meets the sky, into the Blue Horizon
I will run with you
Those were the days of your life (where have they gone now?)
Those were the days of your life
Those were the days of our life (where have they gone now?)
Those were the days of our life
Blue Horizon
Where the ocean meets the sky, Into the Blue Horizon
I will run with you
repeat to fade
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Hi, I enjoyed this very much. Funny thing is that my favourite part is the bridge - it's catchy with perfect contrast between the instruments and vocals helped tremendously by the off-beats part. The only thing I wasn't so keen on was the backing vocals on the chorus. I realise the limitations of probably not having access to other people to sing those, but I felt that smoother, less punchy backing vox would support the main vox better. As it is, I found that a bit distracting. A minor quibble though - overall a very polished offering.
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First off, Kudos for making Steel Drums sound not-at-all Caribbean, unusual choice of instrumentation but you totally made it work.
Second off, this is way better than bloody Take That, a band who I've never had much time for. You don't fall into that boy-band-bellowing vocal style for one thing, you're much subtler than that. I think Erasure was closer to the mark, and I hear a bit of Pet Shop Boys too.
Third off, this is a really good song mate, well done! Great production, and some really hooky lyric/melody combinations. Great chorus, and I think your backing vocals work great personally but it's all a matter of taste.
The one tiny thing that bugged me (literally tiny) - that hi-hat sound you use doing the single interjections. I don't know if the sound itself could be better or if its too loud in the mix but I found myself getting hung up on it.
EDIT: Just realised this is two of two songs by you I've really liked. When's the album?
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Awesome review. Thank you.
Couldn’t identify the hi hat sound you’re referring to.
Is it the loop that enters right at the start?
Thanks again.
Paul.
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Good stuff - catchy , great voice very clear , has an 80s sound to me but nothing wrong with that , well done xxx
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Awesome review. Thank you.
Couldn’t identify the hi hat sound you’re referring to.
You're welcome, the sound I mean first occurs straight after the line "living life on your own" - it's always just one hit at a time. It's a good little touch - maybe it could use a subtler treatment in the mix, or maybe I'm being neurotic over nothing
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Hi and welcome!
I saw you had a posted song in January 14 so this is a bit early maybe.
The whole concept of 'anaesthetic oblivion' kind of caught my attention. Nice idea for a song!
Kind of reminds me of Culture Club. Love the vocals.
Martin
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Thanks Martin.
You’re quite right. Hadn’t been aware of the “two week rule”
The culture club reference; Is that to a specific
Song or some broader sentiment?
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I should also add; this isn’t me singing, it’s a very talented session vocalist I use.
Paul
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Thread locked due to the 14 day rule
Seems a genuine mistake so no biggie - just drop me a PM when the 2 weeks have elapsed