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Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Works in Progress => Topic started by: dasntn on January 20, 2018, 10:03:05 AM
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Hi
this arrived in my head last night (sort of), so at a very early stage so far. Two verses and a chorus.
The song is about feeling separated from society, such as when you have a baby and you can't get out much, or when you are a full time carer.
I did have a third verse but I seem to have lost the scrap of paper!
(Very) Rough recording at https://soundcloud.com/dasntn/somethings-going-on
As ever, interested in any views you want to share.
Lyrics (and chords) are
G D
Something’s going on in the city
C D
Somethings causing fun in the sun
Everyone’s talking about it
Tweeting ‘bout the buzz and the hum
Am D
Sorry but I can’t feel it
G Em
I’m no longer there
Am D G
Truth is I’m no longer anywhere
G D
Something’s going on by the shoreline
C D
Something’s going on in the surf
Singing and playing along the dunes
Partying for all they are worth
Am D
Sorry but I can’t see it
G Em
I cannot be there
Am D G
Truth is I cannot be anywhere
Bm Am
And we all know we’re different
D G
Wanting our own way
And we won’t take another route
On our path we’ll stay
Bm F Am D
Till we grow and we realise, love is built on shame
Am
Then we know
D G
Deep down we’re all the same
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Hi early days obviously and needs some work but definetly a song in there - keep going xxx
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Hi all
updated version at https://soundcloud.com/dasntn/somethings-going-on
I've worked on this a fair bit, mostly with later verses and 'mid 8'. Lyrics now are:
G D
Something's going on in the city
C D
Somethings causing fun in the sun
Everyone's talking about it
Tweeting 'bout the buzz and the hum
Am D
Sorry but I can't feel it
G Em
I'm no longer there
Am D G
Truth is I'm no longer anywhere
G D
Something's going on by the shoreline
C D
Something's going on in the surf
Singing and playing along the dunes
Partying for all that they're worth
Am D
Sorry but I can't see it
G Em
I cannot be there
Am D G
Truth is I cannot be anywhere
Bm Am
And we all know we're different
D G
Wanting our own way
And we won't take another route
On our path we'll stay
Bm F Am D
Till we grow and we realise, life is built on pain
Am
Then we know
D G
Deep down we're all the same
Something going on in the street now
Something in the neighbourhood
I don't know a thing about it
Guess there's no reason I should
They did not invite me
They forget I'm here
They forget that I am anywhere
Dm C Gm
All through my life I have followed my own way
And Until love came I thought that's how I'd stay
Am Bb
But you have shown me that the world is bigger than
C D
I could see
Something's going on in the house now
Happening right under my roof
Owning my time all the day and the night
Handed down from up above
And I can always see it,
I will always care,
Seems to you that I am everywhere
Bm Am
And we all know we're different
D G
Wanting our own way
And we won't take another route
On our path we'll stay
Bm F Am D
Till we grow and we realise, life is built on pain
Am
Then we know
D G
Deep down we're all the same
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Dave
I love this song, really nice.
If you have the resource to do it, maybe some backing vox, reasonably down in the mix, (the lead vox sounds a bit bare and vulnerable) 1 in the verses, and 2 in the middle section. Pan the instruments over the soundstage, add some eq, miniscule echo (so you probably can't hear it obviously) and a tad compression on the lead vox and pop a bit of reverb over it all.
Just an idea.
Regards
cpm
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Thanks CPM,
Yes, all good idea. Needs a fair bit of tidying, but glad you like the basic sing.
Cheers
Dave