The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: Neil C on January 14, 2018, 05:44:32 PM
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Hi everyone
First tune posted for 2018 and for my chosen subject I've gone for a bit political here. And thanks for those who gave feedback on the lyrics last year.
Musically I've tried to give it a bit of a jazzy swing, like Lyle Lovett. Anyway I think its fairly close to being finished, I could do a better vocal when flu thing disappears but really interested in your suggestions as I think its a good song worth honing.
Thanks in anticipation and look forward to hearing your thoughts
:)
neil
https://soundcloud.com/neilconnor-2/continental-divorce-master-22-oct-2017 (https://soundcloud.com/neilconnor-2/continental-divorce-master-22-oct-2017)
Continental divorce
You’d say it was a strange relationship
You’d never put us together
Married in good faith, it was a real embrace
So what went so wrong? Don't look at me
Our common interests were hard to see
We slowly grew apart, we need a brand new start
With heavy head and a broken heart
With disbelief and an easy grief, we know we don't belong
So the ship has sailed for you and me
It’s listing, it’s heaving and we’re all at sea
All aboard the lifeboats or ignoring the reports?
We’re heading for a messy Continental Divorce
You can't find a new life when you’re still stuck in the past
And you can't move on and nothing ever lasts
The silly thing is that its all gone
We’ll all be poorer, it won't be long
Coz it’s who pays for this and who pays for that?
We’re finding there’s no welcome on the welcome mat
Too busy slinging insults and character assignations
Which court will rule on our separation?
Coz there is no good outcome when we’re fighting in the yard
And both of us will loose, will lose the very prize
So the ship has sailed for you and me
It’s listing, it’s heaving and we’re all at sea
All aboard the lifeboats or ignoring the reports?
We’re heading for a messy Continental Divorce
C N Connor 2018
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Lovely jazzy feel Neil, I think I heard an earlier version. I think you've really got the Lyle Lovett style down to a tee. It reminds me of "She ain't no lady, she's my wife"
Your vocs are sounding pretty damn good to me flu or no flu.
Excellent stuff :)
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Pretty good stuff here Neil mate...really nice feel !!
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Yo Neil.
A cool,groovy track,well performed and produced. I won't comment on the politics,but we all have a right to a voice! :D
A much enjoyed tune. I haz the swang. :)
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This is great, really love the style and after one listen the chorus is firmly planted in my brain
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John - thanks for the feedback and regarding 'Your vocs are sounding pretty damn good to me flu or no flu' I think there a bit constrained at the higher register and I might be able to improve when the flu's properly gone.
Kevin - cheers, glad you liked it
Skub - glad you enjoyed the swing - and yes the politics, its pretty important stuff and I have strong views myself but tried to keep it balanced observation apart from the ironic outdo!
Kingforaday - thanks a lot and hope the brain recovers..
:)
neil
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Hi Neil, still doing your guitar thang i see! Nice swagger to the walking bass parts and the lyrical theme worked well.Sounded good to me!
Great feel to this!
Cheers
Jamie
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Cool jazzy vibe ... your voice sounds like Tom Robinson!
Also works as a regular break-up song, but this shows at least something good is coming from Brexit, right? :)
Kevin
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Hi,
This is great! Lovely feeling in the song. Very groovy bass lines.
Production is also excellent. Sounds good to my ear.
Cheers
refusedrevival
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Very cool, and I agree that if those are your vocals on flu then sounding really good!
I was kind of expecting a bluesy solo when it went to the middle 8 around 2 minutes, and maybe a bit more in the outro?
Lyrics are nice indeed - one small thing is that the "character assassination" didn't scan so well so that could perhaps benefit from a tidyup...
Nice work!
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Man, I love this vibe :D
I not one one those who start dancing when listening music but on this yeaa . Nice : Also I love acoustic drums ;) Guitar in chorus is nicee
I dont know what I can critique :D NIcee
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Hi Neil,
Great to hear this vibe - very few members manage to pull it off. Clever walking bass/rhythm guitar combo. Vocals sound fine to me although there are sometimes rather too many lyrics to fit easily into the lines. You make it sound easy but it conceals an enormous amount of skill.
Happy New Year!
M
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This totally reminds me of Schoolhouse Rock, which were musical cartoons they showed on Saturday mornings here in the States, that taught kids about everything from social studies to grammar. They were really catchy like this, and we learned something. Really good. Political, but it still makes me smile. Very refreshing.
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redhoodie don't know Schoolhouse Rock on this side of the pond but sounds good. Catchy, political and smiles all good thanks.
Montydog, delighted with comments on 'the vibe' and agree there are lots of words to fit in..
pacho, great feedback and thanks for that
adam, sorry to disappoint about lack of solos!
refusedrevival, great feedback thanks
Kevysc, Cool jazzy vibe ... your voice sounds like Tom Robinson!
had that before thanks
Jamie, Hi yes still doing my guitar thing but not exclusively http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=14188.0 (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=14188.0)- swagger to walking bass :-)
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Nice loose jazzy feel Neil....hey haven't I heard this before.....ringing some bells?
Good title.
Great guitar lines and tone. Vocal picks up as it gets into it I thought...all those doubled bits/harmonies nicely done. Don't care for the spoken bits.....but who cares what I think!
Nicely produced.
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Dear Count - thanks for your feedback, especially as your our resident jazz and swing master :-)
Spoken bit just a bit of fun..
Neil
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Hey Neil - one of your best IMHCO. ;D ;D
What a great mix esp at the start - lots of space and openness - love the vibe.
Lead guitar is full of awesomeness and some of those chord changes are inspired!
Solid work - keep crankin' 'em out!
Paul