The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: Tyler Hancock on January 11, 2018, 06:07:49 AM
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I'll be totally honest: this song began as just a title that came to me one day in the shower, lol. They were, and are, two words that resonate very deeply with me and, while it took me two months to write, revise, and re-write the lyrics as you hear them now, I instantly knew these two words were the foundation of everything I want to say in a song at this time in my life. I don't exactly wish a "Jaded Heart" on anyone, but I think the essence of the song is something a lot of people can relate to on some level. It's not a love song and it's not a love-gone-bad song; it's an I've-given-up-on-love song. I would love to know what you think of the lyrics. Also, I don't think I'm the best vocalist, but I just enjoy experimenting with my own voice and trying to make it work with my own lyrics. I wouldn't mind feedback on the production as well. It is 100% written, sung, and produced by myself. I've included the lyrics below as well as in the YouTube video description. Thank you so much :)
-Tyler
Lyrics:
[Verse 1]
Used to call you crazy, used to call you cynical
Telling me that love is nothing but a chemical
But lately I set fire to any little reason
To keep on holding on
[Pre-Chorus]
I'm just trying to get up from the dirt
You don't know the road I'm walkin'
(I know you think you know me)
You don't say a word, don't say a word
But your hands on me are talkin'
(I'm fading from you slowly)
'Cause. . .
[Chorus] (X2)
I've been living with a jaded heart
I'm so over brand new starts, yeah
Baby, I'm far too smart to fall now
Stone cold, I am numb to the spark now
I will never break apart now
No surrender for a jaded heart
[Post Chorus] (x2)
Jaded heart
You're not gonna take my
Jaded heart, oh oh
[Verse 2]
20/20 vision in my rear-view mirror
Now I can see it, I can see it all clearer
How far we'll go to find a little bit of reason
To keep on holdin' on
[Pre-Chorus]
I'm just trying to get up from the dirt
You don't know the road I'm walkin'
(I know you think you know me)
You don't say a word, don't say a word
But your hands on me are talkin'
(You're never gonna know me)
'Cause. . .
[Chorus] (x2)
I've been living with a jaded heart
I'm so over brand new starts, yeah
Baby, I'm far too smart to fall now
Stone cold, I am numb to the spark now
I will never break apart now
No surrender for a jaded heart
[Post-Chorus]
Jaded heart
You're not gonna take my
Jaded heart, oh oh
(x2)
[Bridge] (Chopped vocals)
[Post-Chorus/Outro]
Jaded heart
You're not gonna take my
Jaded heart, oh oh
(x2)
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Tyler, great song, your vox are superb, the production is also very professional. Nice work indeed, must have taken quite a while to do it.
CPM
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Hi, this style/genre wouldn't normally be on my horizon, but my children listen to enough of this type of music for me to recognise it's well produced and performed, and has a current vibe to it!
Nice work
Cheers
Jamie
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Hi Tyler,
I can hear this sung by Justin Bieber. Whilst it not my usual listening I think its a good pop song. For me the instrumental sections didn't really work. They took my focus away from the song. I would have ended on the chorus rather than the post chorus and gone out with a bang.
Feel free to ignore me if you disagree.
Keith
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Cool contemporary song ... I can hear this in a nightclub ( or on my son's speaker :) ).
I like the video .. .great way to keep the interest rather than just a still or lyrics scrolling. Where did you get moving vinyl ?
Kevin
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Yeah as others have said, not really a style I'm particularly in to... but... It's very well written, constructed and performed for sure. Good work!
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Hi i think is great not my thing but I can understand those who would go for it , I'd defintely dance to this - it's a wicked song as they say .
I think you should be really proud it's really well done and professional , your voice sounds great as well xxx
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Hi!
I like your song. It's not my genre at all so I don't have any concept of whether your music is innovative or mainstream. I think you use effective ways of delivering your song (didn't watch the video) but the end is a bit too confusing for me.