The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: rightly on January 01, 2018, 06:22:36 PM
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Happy new year!
I'm venturing back to Acoustic, no-thrills, one man - one take, sort of thing.
(can't wait to get back to m'midis, but this is excellent ;))
I've different versions of this song, the latest would be this.
Finished about four years ago and recorded last night.
Inspired by the famous Byron poem I added lyrics and music.
Feedback welcome.
https://soundcloud.com/rightly/by-the-light
By The Light
So we’ll go no more a’roving
So late into the night
Though the heart be still as loving
And the moon be still as bright
For the sword outwears its sheath
And the soul wears out the breast
And the heart must pause to breath
And love itself must rest
Though the night was made for lovers, and the day returns too soon
Yet we’ll go no more a’roving, by the light, by the light of the moon
We are lost lords of darkness
We are found in knowing that
And these things that fall away from us
Will not again come back
Stars still hang in the day sky
Though they cannot be seen
They really come alive
As we are lost in dreams
Though the night was made for lovers, and the day returns too soon
Yet we’ll go no more a’roving, by the light, by the light of the moon
Our clinging hands are tied
To every other weight
And we're falling down the hillside
With everything we take
Should we love's child abandon
As our Father's law is enforced
After acts once born of passion
And time has taken its course
Though the night was made for lovers, and the day returns too soon
Yet we’ll go no more a’roving, by the light of the moon
By the light, by the light of the moon
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Phew ! Soundcloud is back. I just love your style Rightly. This is great, great feel and works so well on acoustic and vocs. Your lyrics are always so creative and stimulating as well. Great start to 2018 :)
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Hi..not a fan of the one take thingy but like the lyrics in this piece...very good man!! :) :)
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Hi
I love your signing style on this one. I've not read the poem. is it the same title?
Am I imagining it, or did you miss out the first half of the first verse?
James
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Hi
I love your signing style on this one. I've not read the poem. is it the same title?
Am I imagining it, or did you miss out the first half of the first verse?
James
James. lol.
I didn't miss anything out.
the original poem is called "So we'll go no more a'roving" Lord Byron. https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/43845/so-well-go-no-more-a-roving
glad you liked it
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Sweet...I've always been a fan of Byron...his shorter stuff in particular...same with Shelley, really...their sprawling epics are possibly "better" - but I think both can tend to ramble a bit ( :o) I think "when we two parted" was the one of Byrons that stuck with me the most.
I've enjoyed your cubase adventures too...but this is where you really shine. You sound like you aren't restricted here at all and it probably suits your playing style and delivery that way. I thought the guitar had almost a funk kind of feel to it at times.
most enjoyable
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Sweet...I've always been a fan of Byron...his shorter stuff in particular...same with Shelley, really...their sprawling epics are possibly "better" - but I think both can tend to ramble a bit ( :o) I think "when we two parted" was the one of Byrons that stuck with me the most.
I've enjoyed your cubase adventures too...but this is where you really shine. You sound like you aren't restricted here at all and it probably suits your playing style and delivery that way. I thought the guitar had almost a funk kind of feel to it at times.
most enjoyable
Glad you like it Paul.
I know what you mean with the greats, they do sometimes ramble, at some point their point (at least for me) often becomes incoherent. I mean to read some Ted Hughes this next week, I'm looking forward to that.
My plan is to occupy two seats at once, the DAW and the acoustic, lump that I am. lol.
It will take as long as it takes to realise this plan, might get ugly (lol), folks get confused when an artist doesn't stick to one genre.
I listen to funk music quite often, I can't do without it.
Have a good new year.
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Inspirational.
No tricks.
No special effects.
No copped loops or comedy recorded add ons.
Lyrically sublime.
This'll do Rightly. 8)
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Interesting , I think it's one that could grow on me
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Thanks skub
I'm happy to get this one recorded, it's been on the shelf for years.
this was a first take in a makeshift home studio.
I checked the recordings after the session, got to this and realised I was happy with it.
Recording these older songs frees me up for more exciting challenges.
I'm glad you like it Katie!
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Really enjoyed this, one take, stripped down and all.
There's nice rhythmic movement in that guitar playing that I like a lot....very alive. Provides a great backdrop to the singing which has your stamp and is very good for that too! Delivery is great.
Chorus or refrain or whatever you want to call it is good and during these parts it first came to me that this could easily be the acoustic version of a bigger treatment...it'd work i'm sure though I don't suppose you'll want to ever do that...got a bit of David Byrne...has that been said before?
I prefer this to your last one by a good margin but that's just the way it is...no desire for you not to carry on with your Cubase adventures...and what would you care if I did! The one before that I really was fond of anyway!
Good performance. Good listen.
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Thanks for the compliments Viscount.
I haven't time (maybe the skills either) for a bigger treatment, I need to move on.
yes, the Byrne comparison has been said before, I don't mind, I like his work. :)
Thanks for your supportive attitude.
I do care for what others say, I know when to disregard it too.
Where would any of be if all artists were too sensitive to conservative critics?
Happy new year. :)
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Rightly is back in the room! You have a particular phrasing and way of pausing before delivering certain words which seems just you and usually just right for what you're doing.
Really enjoyable, simple but classical, great fusion of influences.
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Love this ... you have done a great job of augmenting Byron's lyrics. Particularly this section:
Stars still hang in the day sky
Though they cannot be seen
They really come alive
As we are lost in dreams
That is at least as poetic as anything Byron wrote himself!
Musically, this works as well with a kind of anguished and almost desparate chord sequence. Great job, well done.
(Small point ... repeated the first four lines of verse 3 in verse 2 : one of the hazards of single take recordings!
Kevin
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Love this ... you have done a great job of augmenting Byron's lyrics. Particularly this section:
Stars still hang in the day sky
Though they cannot be seen
They really come alive
As we are lost in dreams
That is at least as poetic as anything Byron wrote himself!
Musically, this works as well with a kind of anguished and almost desparate chord sequence. Great job, well done.
(Small point ... repeated the first four lines of verse 3 in verse 2 : one of the hazards of single take recordings!
Kevin
Kevin! Ahhhh.
You're right!
It's horrific!
I'll have to do again. Lol. FFS!
Well spotted!
I've been floating on having it finished. I'll have to do another. I didn't notice it!
Well spotted!
Glad you like it.
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Rightly
Liking the live loose feel to it. With a jazzy guitar meets the Waterboys
I think it would be good to play live
confident
:)
neil
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Rightly
Liking the live loose feel to it. With a jazzy guitar meets the Waterboys
I think it would be good to play live
confident
:)
neil
Thanks Neil.
I don't know about playing this live. I do get good feedback. I just hold back on playing it.
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It's a really intriguing recording. It sounds modern though the lyric/poem are not. I love the simplicity of the guitar and vocal and enjoyed your guitar style. I think that Songwriting is quite a different discipline to writing poetry though obviously there are many similarities. You've done a great job of setting the words to music here. The words obviously are very good but the task would have frustrated me as I like to use identical syllables for sections. Writing music to established words doesn't always allow for that approach.
It's always great to hear new work from yourself. thanks for sharing.
Pul
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It's a really intriguing recording. It sounds modern though the lyric/poem are not. I love the simplicity of the guitar and vocal and enjoyed your guitar style. I think that Songwriting is quite a different discipline to writing poetry though obviously there are many similarities. You've done a great job of setting the words to music here. The words obviously are very good but the task would have frustrated me as I like to use identical syllables for sections. Writing music to established words doesn't always allow for that approach.
It's always great to hear new work from yourself. thanks for sharing.
Pul
I found putting music to this poem really simple. I think the skills needed for one and the other often overlap.
For me I mostly used to disregard the syllable count and try to get the sentiment over. I less so these days, and it's easier to adhere to the sylable count technique.
I'm glad you liked the show. Stay tuned I'll try to keep up with the quality.
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Hi Rightly
I like how you have done this. Its simplicity brings more focus to the vocal and lyrics and both are great. It's a really reflective song and I think the hook is really good, got me hooked. It's really nice to hear the song in this way too and despite it being a one take kind of thing I think it sounds really smooth!
Really nice stuff
Darren
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I am so jealous of your guitar skills, damn.
Also the song is nice and catchy. I can imagine listening to this sat in a farm shop cafe on a sunny day, eating a ploughmans sandwich and talking about a fun filled morning with your family. (I can get a bit visual with music sorry XD)
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This is awesome. I'm totally impressed. Awesome guitar, funky rhythm. Beautiful melodies in both the verse and chorus.
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Hi Rightly,
great song well played ansd sung. Reminds me of 1970s acoustic folk, a good thing. I don't hear anything else that go with it. The acoustic guitar with your vocal is enough to satisfy me.
Keith