The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: pacho on December 14, 2017, 09:47:48 PM
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Hello everyone , I have completed this song of mine .
The song i wrote in the summer and now i completed it .
This song is about being afraid something dangerous or something that look dangerous, And how beautiful sometimes dangerous things are .
There is YouTube video on I worked about six hours just editing :D
https://youtu.be/GHIvNqk2oMg (https://youtu.be/GHIvNqk2oMg)
And Soundcloud of course:
https://soundcloud.com/patriciomusica/survived-1 (https://soundcloud.com/patriciomusica/survived-1)
LYRICS:
Looking
out of window
You wanna go outside
But they told you
dont be crazy
dont be foolish
look outside
Weve just survived
dont play at night
but our biggest fights
were winning at nights
Weve just survived
Looked at that sky
So beautiful at night
Would you know
If you wouldn play outside tonight
Maybe Its too dangerous
But that
cant stop you
Looking out of window
You wanna go outside
But they told you
dont be crazy
dont be foolish
look outside
And I wonder
And I wonder
They like their borders
Like noone else can dooo
Weve just survived
dont play at night
but our biggest fights
were winning at nights
Weve just survived
Looked at that sky
So beautiful at night
Would you know
If you wouldn play outside tonight
AMAZING MIDI GUITAR SOLOO
AMAZING ORCHESTRAL OUTRO
Thank you for lsitening everyone :*
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Pacho,
I'm liking this and the video is great, wish I knew how to create a video like this, I think it adds to the atmosphere of the song.
Just one thing I picked up on, the line 'We're just survived'
I'm guessing it's probably a translation thing but it doesn't quite make sense to me.
I suspect something like 'We've just survived' or 'We have survived' might be what you're looking for.
I guess not all art has to make 100% sense though.
Good job overall with this.
Yodasdad
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Hi Pacho. You have a very haunting vibe here and some unusual chord progressions that work very well. I thought that this was a clever piece of work that had something different about it. Bravo :)
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Pacho,
I'm liking this and the video is great, wish I knew how to create a video like this, I think it adds to the atmosphere of the song.
Just one thing I picked up on, the line 'We're just survived'
I'm guessing it's probably a translation thing but it doesn't quite make sense to me.
I suspect something like 'We've just survived' or 'We have survived' might be what you're looking for.
I guess not all art has to make 100% sense though.
Good job overall with this.
Yodasdad
Yeah, its weve just survived, you right . thank you for tell me :D Now it make sense
BTW thank for response
And pompeyjazz Thank you , i was trying to do it different than anything else .. BTW .. why are chord progressions so unusuals?