The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: Wicked Deeds on November 29, 2017, 07:50:06 PM
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Ok, My apologies for closing the thread and taking the original mix down. I mixed on headphones late at night but will never do so again. I’ve since played around with this and am now fairly happy. This is my song “A Kiss Before The Winter”. It isn’t included on my new album of the same name but it did inspire the album title.
Thanks to tone for encouraging me to put the album together and for completing the artwork.
Pompey, thanks for your kind offer to mix. Let me know if you would still like a go at this one.
thanks
Paul
https://soundcloud.com/wicked-deeds/a-kiss-before-the-winter
A Kiss Before The Winter
I drove a lonely mile;
rolling fields of green.
I left her love behind
with the things we'd done
and the sights we'd seen.
I travelled east to west,
then in reverse again.
I stood alone once more
'neath the charcoal skies
in the pouring rain
October takes me in her arms.
A kiss before the winter.
October skies have come to take me home.
Where faces stare and smile,
where hands reach out to heal.
Where children know the way,
where parents fail
to close the deal
October takes me in her arms.
A kiss before the winter.
October skies have come to take me home.
I awake in the night.
remember the joy.
my first born boy knows of pain.
October takes me in her arms.
A kiss before the winter.
October skies have come to take me home.
Written by Paul Vasey
https://soundcloud.com/wicked-deeds/a-kiss-before-the-winter
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Hi Paul, would love to have a go at mixing. Could you dropbox me the stems ?
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Lovely song Paul - that minor key really gives it a mystical almost creepy ;D feel. Vocals are perfect as usual and arrangement interesting. Like the strings stabbing in here and there.
Good work
Paul
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Great soundscape and atmosphere to this - could be in a 1960s film. I think (in particular) it's the textures of the guitars and percussion. And the driving but relaxed tempo. I guess in the film there would be a huge orchestral finale of course! The strings here are perfect though, no need to go over the top. Lots of great little instrumental details too.
It's very "Wicked Deeds" at the same time - your vocal delivery is a really enjoyable mix of laid back and plaintiff - that might be your sweetspot. Lyrically also very unique - a story we instantly get but with plenty of originality.
Loved everything about this. Album please!
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Hi Pompey. I'll send stems over to you next time I get a couple of days of work. :-)
Thanks Paulski, This is one of my favourite songs. :-)
Adam, I too am getting that cinematic nostalgia feeling. Especially in the m8 section,where the chords twist and turn and are driven along by the rhythm guitar, making for a 60's film soundscape. I'm really pleased that you like this one. It's a great shame it can't be on the album as the title track. I've just received the CD audio tracks to listen to before the album is pressed so I guess, it could arrive any day now that I have approved the tracks. It's a lovely feeling to know that th CD's will arrive in the post soon and the album will be digitally distributed in the near future. :-)
There are 12 songs on the album. It's a really dark yet I think, beautiful album.
Paul
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Hi Paul,
I love the use of strings in this, and in particular the chord transition into the chorus... a little unexpected to dip down like that in the melody, but a powerful effect.
Mix sounds good to me (mind you I also listened to the previous one you've taken down and that sounded good too...).
I like the no-nonsense way the track just ends too. Never a fan of fade outs.
Look forward to hearing the album.
Pauly
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Hi,
I like your use of imagery - very poetic and effective. You have such a flexible, expressive voice which works so well with this song. I wasn't too keen on the drum track - it tended to dominate in the quiet sections but that's my personal taste. Clever use of chords and overall this reeks of the class you bring to all your music.
M
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Nice track,
I'm listening at a low volume because I just woke up and my ears are still getting there.at this volume though the vocal in the chorus seemed just a tad low and lost in the mix. Might rectify if I turn up though.
Apart from that it's a nice mix which compliments the gentle track.
Like the way the melody lifts in the chorus and the imagery from the lyrics.
Good job.
Yodasdad
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Thanks Paul,
I hoped the songwriting was good enough so that I didn't have to over-complicate the production. The chorus was a little unusual to drop down to the EMajor chord from the Dominant 7th. I'm pleased you enjoyed the progression.
Paul
Thanks Monty, I've now received delivery of the album CD's of the same name :-)
Yodasdad,
Thanks for listening. It's great that you enjoyed the song.
Paul
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This is a really lovely song Paul. I think I may have heard the first mix, which I thought was fine :)
I think it starts a little abruptly and the vocals, which are beautiful, need to come up in the mix in some places. It will be interesting to see what John does with a remix :o
The lyrics are so poetic and you sing them with such amazing expression...gave me chills up my spine in some places :-*
I wish you all the best with your new CD...this one should have been on it :)
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Aw...this is gorgeous.
Perhaps the thing that impresses me most about you is the honesty that shines through...there are often quite raw thoughts and emotions expressed...but they’re always handled with such love and care that they never feel overly dramatic or oppressive.
Singing and playing is pretty masterful...and I’m sure that if the mix has been improved, then it must be even better than the original one that my cloth ears though was fine :D
As soon as I’ve typed this, I’m writing to Santa asking him for a copy of your album.
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Sometimes hard to articulate why something grabs you and hard to figure out what it is that gives a song something. In this case...and it was the first thing that grabbed me about it really...it's the movement of the song that took me. There are probably many contributing factors and I think one of them is the rhythm of the verse vocal and the fact that the first three verse lines are identical in melody which gives it an insistent feel there. I like the way the verses follow from this...very nice. I like the verses a lot.
The chorus comes in with a bit of a surprise turn - and sounding very Wicked Deeds here - very moody and nice lines and melody great.. Nice guitar bits too. It's a great title and no wonder you used it for the album!
Enjoyed the string parts...especially behind the third verse.
Chorus is very nice...bridge does its job well between those two last choruses.
Great mood, cracking song. Possibly my favourite of yours so far. Damn shame it couldn't have been on the album. I predict great things....well a SOTM nomination at least!
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Beautiful. I loved the melody. Really pretty lyrics.
Lynn
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Hi Paul. A decent song in its raw form. Has promise. A bit plodding for my personal tastes but appreciate its a good song. Will review properly once Pompey has worked his magic.
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Hi I'm Tom.
I like the lyrics. So many songs nowadays are so abstract I cannot associate with them. Its nice to have simple words and ideas for a change.
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Paul,
Lots to like on this one.
The lyrics and vocals all work well together - love charcoal skies line.
Its got an portentous feel with the strings and bass doing so neat things, before you get to the more insistent October skies chorus.
keep 'em coming
:)
neil
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very nice
has something goth about it for me.
Aye, October is an evil month, my month of birth.
really like the lyrics too.
well done!
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What a great track! Lovely atmosphere and misty vocal. Enjoyed the lyrics too and the beguilingly simple melody. I'll check out some more of your stuff x
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Once again, I’m delighted that this song has appealed to so many people. It’s quirky unfortunate that it didn’t appear on my album of the same name. I think it would have deserved a place amongst the other tracks. It will however feature on the next album that I release.
thanks again
Paul
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It’s quirky unfortunate that it didn’t appear on my album of the same name.
Oh well, you're in company with Led Zeppelin and the Doors, they did the same thing! I'm going to join the chorus of praise for this tune, not much to add to what others have said, fab melody and chords, great words. Your voice reminds me of Green Gartside only with the accent of Judee Sill.
I wonder if the acoustic guitar fills might sound more distinct on a clean electric, on the neck pickup, just a thought
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This is really, really good.
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Hi, I thought I had already commented on this....... ??? Good song, like the arrangement and the chord structure, the chorus is particularly nice. Good vocals.
Nice one!
Cheers
Jamie
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Yo Paul.
I too had thought I commented on the song,but it must have been the version you deleted...
It's a cool song. Love the sound of the acoustic guitar,lovely and warm.
The overall mix is clear with a nice stereo spread,giving quite a live,natural feel.
The song gets better with each listen,it's a grower. :)
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Simples....the melody is good