The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: Neil C on November 13, 2017, 07:46:11 AM
-
Hi,
Here's a co-write which was fun putting together. Kind of went pretty straight band ensemble and feel its got some good energy. As Mr A wrote in his original post on the lyrics:
"It’s very rare for me to give a backstory to any of my lyrics as I much prefer to leave them open to interpretation. However, these lyrics are so obscure I thought some background might help.
My full time job sees me working with a variety of people from drug users to abused children to people with mental health issues. I found myself in the company of an old gentleman the other day who throughout our two hour meeting, kept throwing random comments into the conversation that were completely out of context with what we were discussing.
Most of his obscure comments were either common sayings or childrens rhymes. He also kept talking about the ‘Elephant in the room’ and I’m still unsure if it was a metaphorical elephant or he genuinely believed there was one in the room.
After I left, I got to thinking about what his world was like on a day to day basis and what was going on in his head. These lyrics are the best answer I could come up with"
So here it is https://soundcloud.com/neilconnor-2/riddle-demo-master-10-april-2017 (https://soundcloud.com/neilconnor-2/riddle-demo-master-10-april-2017)
Look forward to hearing your thoughts
:)
neil
When curiosity killed the cat
His death never raised a brow
Yet somehow we mourned his loss
More than the cradle that broke the bough
If Elvis has left the building
Who the hell is the guy on the mic
Not quite a king more a pauper
But worth a dollar if you believe the hype
Hey diddle, diddle
Life is a riddle
There's an elephant in the room
The insane wear a smile
To see such fun
As they dance to a different tune
You can't judge a book by it's cover
When the story mirrors your life
You've enjoyed the gore and the glory
So don't complain when they twist the knife
Between a rock and a hard place
Where indecision don't belong
The almighty is judge and jury
And you can't do right for doing wrong
Hey diddle, diddle
Life is a riddle
There's an elephant in the room
The insane wear a smile
To see such fun
As they dance to a different tune
c 2017 Arkwright/Connor
-
A good track, like the jangly guitar and the solo's are fab...super lyrics, the talent on this forum is just off the radar innit!! :) :)
-
I like the lyrics...very flowy mate. Nice!
-
I guess it's not the year of the cat :),
Nice tune you got there! I don't think the harmonica should come in the middle like that but that's just my own preference.
Good luck!
-
Yo Neil and Arkwright.
Superbly crafted bit of wordsmithery going on here,the explanation is cool,but I'd equally as well have appreciated them even in oblique form.
Great sounding guitars and a fine overall production. I loved the breakdown just before the solo,I'm a sucker for spangle and jangle,reminds me of Badfinger.
Gets better with a few listens too.
Much enjoyed. 8)
-
Very accomplished performances on all the instruments. Lovely guitar work and I particularly liked the harmonica solo, I'd be tempted to bring this up a bit more.
I quite liked the lyrics. Something a bit out of the norm is always an attention grabber and this had me following to see what would come next.
Nice work guys.
Yodasdad
-
Loved it musically and instrumentally - The lyrics were quite fun with some great one liners in there.
Loved the guitar work - very jealous that they sounded so good.
-
Hi Guys,
A very enjoyable collaboration. I loved the harmonica, BTW and the lovely lead break that followed it. Your singing improves with every new track, Neil. Brilliantly played, arranged and produced as always. A very sound and well constructed piece with some lovely lyrical ideas.
M
-
Hey Neil, Ark
Very touching context, must be a very rewarding but exhausting occupation and expressing some of that in a form the rest of us can empathise with is what music's all about for me.
I've read some killer lines today and feel the need to give these a perticular shoutout too
If Elvis has left the building
Who the hell is the guy on the mic
Great lyrics all around, somewhat dissapointed I never tried to read them pre-context because I think the lyric does portray effects of your experience quite well.
And Neil's done plenty of justice with the implementation, really fits. I love the consistent pulse over the verses and how it breaks free over the chorus.
There's some really lovely music going on here, the break at ~2:20 was beautiful for example, and lead work poking in throughout.
Fantastic listen.
Cheers to both!
Scott.
-
Hi!
It is great to see more of two such talented people's work again and this track flows nicely from beginning to end lyricwise and musically. Just a small'unlike' from me is that the harmonica seems too lightweight and maybe could just be kept more powerful with more guitar, which did come back in quite quickly so saved too much of a dip in the spirit of the piece. Still very enjoyable and imaginative.
Best Wishes
Marrianna :)
-
Guitars to die for here!
Really good combo of rhythm and lead.
I found the context-setting of the lyrics useful… got more out of them once I read the explanation and could imagine what was going on in the man’s head. They had some of Dylan’s surrealist charm too. Nice one.
Plenty of good-time energy all the way through. Big thumbs up.
-
I esapeccialy like 1:15 . very smooth . I like that song..
I dont know what critic to say
-
Nice collab guys.
Love the guitars and drive to this.
Lyrics are a hoot - but I think they're kind of jammed into the melody a few places - or could be just me as no-one else mentioned it ;D
Enjoyed it!
Paul