The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Works in Progress => Topic started by: skogge on October 19, 2017, 06:57:18 PM
-
Alright. It feels good to be back. And "Ten" was recieved well over par for me and that feels great :)
Hope the stamina will keep up, both when it comes to musicmaking and reweiving.
Here now is something different. A work in progress. More upbeat, dancy popmusic with a touch of kraut and more guitars. And synths of course!
What I need your input for is if it´s done? Composition wise? Does it feel complete or does it lack something? Should I repeat something or maybe take away? Is there a chorus? Or just hooks? if you have some advice on how to advance with this I would reaaly like to hear them. :)
https://soundcloud.com/skogge/silver-spoon/s-O2sWt
Thank you in advance
/skogge
Silver Spoon
Silver Spoon I´m tired of your teachings
I guess you don´t know there is another way
I don´t feel the need for your blessings
seen as a curse
just the other day
I saw the news
then I just
put on my shoes
and tried to
run back in time
to an old way of life
Silver Spoon
Silver Spoon
Silver Spoon
Silver Spoon
I saw the news
then I just
put on my shoes
and tried to
run back in time
to an old way of...
La la la laa la la-la la laa
La la la laa la la-la la laa
La la la laa la la-la la laa
La la la laa la la-la la laa...
-
I know nothing about music theory etc, but I reckon its finished. Although you could stick another weeny bit of the first section in after the first silver spoon bit if you wanted. I think silver spoon is a "hook chorus" lol. Is a great piece. I was head bopping away. Good fun synthy stuff.
-
I know nothing about music theory etc, but I reckon its finished. Although you could stick another weeny bit of the first section in after the first silver spoon bit if you wanted. I think silver spoon is a "hook chorus" lol. Is a great piece. I was head bopping away. Good fun synthy stuff.
We all Love a good head bopping. Thanks for your input :)
-
Really cool. I'd maybe add a bit more vocals to the Silver Spoon part. Another voice there would be awesome, a bit higher and more sustain-y. But that's just an idea. You could definitely call it done and be happy with it as it is.
-
Dude I don't think the Silver Spoon chorus is particularly strong here, and your vocal certainly isnt loud enough in that bit. Likewise in the la la la las at the end.
I would also replace your lead synth sound with something more modern, it sounds like a flute at the moment. Something sharper and more aggressive would up the bouncy dance feel.
Song is almost there though.
-
Dude I don't think the Silver Spoon chorus is particularly strong here, and your vocal certainly isnt loud enough in that bit. Likewise in the la la la las at the end.
I would also replace your lead synth sound with something more modern, it sounds like a flute at the moment. Something sharper and more aggressive would up the bouncy dance feel.
Song is almost there though.
I guess I never intended the Silver Spoon-part to be a/the chorus. I just liked the krauty feel it added so I think it is more of a melodic interlude. But if it´s not the chorus, I dunno what is... :/