The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: redrhodie on October 10, 2017, 11:39:32 AM
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Hey Ho,
Kalfou invited us to a party at a crossroads near New Orleans. It was a long journey, but we were excited and it wasn't disappointing. Pennyslvania Sal was invited as the guest of honour, he'd been disrespectful in the past. He lost his head and the party was a blast!
Keith and Lynn
Listen to Darkness Falls Where Black Crows Sing by Hull Soul Collective #np on #SoundCloud
https://soundcloud.com/diademgrove/darkness-falls-where-black-crows-sing
Darkness Falls Where Black Crows Sing
Suck the orange [Hey ho swallow blood]
Bite the apple [Hey ho on the road]
Pack the skulls Head down
Route 61 to New Orleans
Kalfou waiting by the cross roads
Breathe in time [Hey ho out in]
Watch the blood red rising sun Slide Down
Route 61 to New Orleans
Kalfou tastes magnolia
Touch its body [Hey ho keep its head]
by the highway in the dusk Nineteen
Hours on the road to Baton Rouge
Speak in tongues [Hey ho make it rhyme]
Sharpen silver see it shine Two more
hours on the road from Baton Rouge
Kalfou greets us at the crossroads
Middle 8
Pennyslvania Sal
so pretty and lean
We both laugh as we tie his hands and knees
Black crows sing in the sycamore trees
When they hear him scream
Drink his warm wine [Hey ho party time]
Pull out his eyes [Hey ho dance and sing]
Captivate, Caress
Decapitated honoured guest
Kalfou dancing at the crossroads
Bitten the apple [Hey ho back to Hibbing]
Sucked the orange [Hey ho drank his blood]
Packed his skull Back on
Route 61 from New Orleans
Kalfou smiling by the river
Kalfou smelling magnolia
Kalfou laughing by the river
Kalfou's destroying the lobster
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Yikes...that was quite a trip, folks :o
Darker than dark...I loved the lyrics...evoked some pretty crazy imagery...and, in one or two places, reminded me a little of “strange fruit” ...by far the scariest song I’ve ever heard...and that’s 100% compliment rather than criticism.
The music adds to the atmosphere really well and - although I think the lyric could have been taken in other directions - this feels like a very intuitive and compelling interpretation.
Can I come out from behind the sofa now?
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Yo Dark ones.
Children of the Corn meets Jeepers Creepers meets American Gods. :o
Earthy,visceral soundscape depicts imagery of places where it's not safe to be,places where you may be a guest,but you may also be on the menu. :o
I've scared myself enough....I'm off...
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Hi Keith and Lynn,
This sounds very sinister.
The vocal has a spooky innocent sound. A weird and haunting combination.
The music flows nicely and oddly behind it all.
"Kalfou's destroying the lobster."
Line of the year.
Dark, disturbing, hypnotic stuff.
A proper Hallowe'en song.
Digger
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I'm not coming out from under my duvet!!!!..no way, shivers all round with this very creative piece of scary!!!
evokes all sorts of imagery...fab!!!
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Drawn into this from note one of the intro. This is dark and dismal (In a very good way) . I'm loving the synth sounds and effects you've got. It sounds like a march to hell :) Great stuff and competition objective achieved :)
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Slow and scary. It felt like a nightmare where strangers give you orders. Kafka. This motivates me to make my song scarier.
Shouldn't have listened to it just before going to sleep.
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Thanks guys! Hope we don't give you nightmares. Just try not to notice that shadow in the corner (it didn't move, did it?!) I'm sure it's nothing. The bad guy's always hiding under the bed. Haha.
Lynn
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Cool Tom Waits-esque piece guys that plays very much on its own terms. I liked the maccabre chant style to it and enjoyed imagining the weird characters. Would be too scared to watch the video.
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Was a bit put off by the dirge-like quality but on further inspection it just kept giving. It took some time for the penny to drop re Pennsylvania Sal, clever stuff and I was actually quite relieved. The way some of the lines run over to the next is a very nice touch.The call and response parts work well too.
I was thinking that the middle8 should have a bit of a different feel somehow as it is quite a climactic part of the song but I get the idea that it might be more macabre to continue the relentlessness of the same atmosphere all through.
Nicely done!
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Cool Tom Waits-esque piece guys that plays very much on its own terms. I liked the maccabre chant style to it and enjoyed imagining the weird characters. Would be too scared to watch the video.
Oh, that's too bad! I'm quite looking forward to the video. Keith is working on it right now. I can't wait! Thanks for listening. Glad you liked it.
Was a bit put off by the dirge-like quality but on further inspection it just kept giving. It took some time for the penny to drop re Pennsylvania Sal, clever stuff and I was actually quite relieved. The way some of the lines run over to the next is a very nice touch.The call and response parts work well too.
I was thinking that the middle8 should have a bit of a different feel somehow as it is quite a climactic part of the song but I get the idea that it might be more macabre to continue the relentlessness of the same atmosphere all through.
Nicely done!
Thank you Adam. I really love the middle 8. I can say that because that, and really almost all of the song, was all Keith.
But what does it say about you that you were relieved when we cut off his head? Haha. Glad you liked it.
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But what does it say about you that you were relieved when we cut off his head? Haha. Glad you liked it.
I was relived that he (she?) wasn't human after all! ;)
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But what does it say about you that you were relieved when we cut off his head? Haha. Glad you liked it.
I was relived that he (she?) wasn't human after all! ;)
Interesting interpretation. 😉
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I finally finished the video:
Thanks for all the positive comments, much appreciated, although only Digger seems to get the black humour in the song.
adamfarr, I'm sure Pennsylvania Sal thinks he's human but its up for debate. I don't think he'd live if he lost his skull though :)
Finally, thanks to Lynn and Dave for taking our music to a whole new level.
Keith
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Wow guys, this is amazing...love it. Atmospheric and moody, and very very dark ;D
Lot of 'hubble bubble toil and trouble' going on there. Excellent video, Impressive
stuff Keith. The whole package works so well ;D The vocals were great. Could easily
imagine the crows singing...did you get into character ;D
Excellent work guys. Arty and stylish...loved it ;D
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Super sinister. Id listen again but im too frightented, hahaaaa. (What a wimp.)
Brill black humour and the kalfu chanting was marvelously unsettling. Eeeeeeeeeeeeek!!!! Take the drums out in the odd place maybe, but brill stuff. Wonderfully weird, freaky and frightfully dark. Job done☺
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Wow guys, this is amazing...love it. Atmospheric and moody, and very very dark ;D
Lot of 'hubble bubble toil and trouble' going on there. Excellent video, Impressive
stuff Keith. The whole package works so well ;D The vocals were great. Could easily
imagine the crows singing...did you get into character ;D
Excellent work guys. Arty and stylish...loved it ;D
Thanks Binladeda. We had so much fun with this. I'm glad you could tell.
Super sinister. Id listen again but im too frightented, hahaaaa. (What a wimp.)
Brill black humour and the kalfu chanting was marvelously unsettling. Eeeeeeeeeeeeek!!!! Take the drums out in the odd place maybe, but brill stuff. Wonderfully weird, freaky and frightfully dark. Job done☺
Really glad you found it scary and funny. We've accomplished our mission!
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Thanks Bin, I remember having to watch Macbeth by Polanski for my O Level English Literature with school. Must have made a lasting impression. We certainly got in character. Unfortunately the filming was in England rather than on Highway 61.
Thanks Cazrolina, I'm glad you heard the black humour. The drums represent the relentless passage of time. So much to do and so little time to do it in. Duluth to New Orleans and back and a bit of murder in between.
Keith
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Horror Movie Track - Extremely weird and unsettling.
Could not really make head nor tail of lyrics - but that did not seem to matter as song took you on a unhealthy dark trip - Which fitted the song competition brief very well
All I can say is 'What sort of Cheese was that' ;D
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Well I guess they don't come much darker than that. So good job for the competition theme.
I liked the production and the spooky vocals a lot.
Bye Wolfi
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Horror Movie Track - Extremely weird and unsettling.
Could not really make head nor tail of lyrics - but that did not seem to matter as song took you on a unhealthy dark trip - Which fitted the song competition brief very well
All I can say is 'What sort of Cheese was that' ;D
If you got unhealthy dark trip, you got it. Thanks for listening.Well I guess they don't come much darker than that. So good job for the competition theme.
I liked the production and the spooky vocals a lot.
Bye Wolfi
Thank you, Wolfi. We're in our comfort zone here in our spooky dark world. Its pretty fun. We're enjoying the ride.
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I can only echo what others have said - there is a lot going on here and it's a very impressive, atmospheric piece. The lack of melody is my only issue.
M
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Great title guys,
Good grove and get the psychedelic vibe.
A bit too atonal for me I'm afraid but appreciated the widescreen approach
:)
neil
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This is chilling!
Really dark and scary sound. Your vocals complimented each other great and I loved the back and forth. There's a nice mix of sounds creating that atmosphere and some very interest subtle and skilfully played guitar.
Lyrics are creepy and excellent.
Great stuff
Darren
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Thanks Neil, montydog and Darren.
One day I may learn to sing 3 or 4 notes and produce a melody :) Although I think a song about chopping someone's head off shouldn't really have much melodic movement. On second thoughts it may work. Something to think about for next year maybe.
Keith
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Thanks everyone for your comments.
As for it lacking a melody, my take was that it was like cheerleading, which I thought suited both the story of me egging him on during this heinous act, and the location of our trip. Is cheerleading as big a thing in the UK as it is here in the US? Maybe you don't have that. It's done during American style football, and it's huge in the South and Midwest, where our story takes place.
I totally understand what you're saying, though.
Thanks again,
Lynn