The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: shadowfax on October 05, 2017, 11:12:11 PM
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Hi, A song about a guy who thinks he's dead cool and talented..the dogs bollocks, but he actually isnt!...
if you take a listen, :) :) I thank you..
https://soundcloud.com/knmac/heat-defeat-by-knmac
See me walkin down the street,
my two left feet,
on paving stones,
my skin is melting in the heat,
the heat defeats,
my rubber soles,
the sun is shining in the sky,
it makes me dry,
and also wet,
girls pass by in summer skirts,
sometimes it hurts,
I can't forget,
see me walkin down the street,
my two left feet,
on paving stones,
my skin is melting in the heat,
the heat defeats,
my rubber soles.
It's all just for show,
wherever I go,
but no one ever knows,
who I am,
Girl ( who does he think he is?)
If no one looks my way,
there'll be another day,
I'll set the world on fire,
when I've finished my latte.
See me driving in my car,
I travel far,
I travel cool,
I like to drive my Jaguar,
like a rock star,
I aint no fool,
people see me pass them by,
I catch their eye,
they wonder why,
they don't know that I AM the guy,
to make them drool,
that aint no lie,
See me walkin down my street,
my two left feet,
on paving stones,
my skin is melting in the heat,
the heat defeats,
my rubber soles,
©KNmac
Best, Kevin :) :)
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Hi Kevin
Lovely song - lyrics are top notch IMO.
Vocals really good as usual - nice chord progression and guitar work.
There are no nits here - no nits here!
Paul
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Oh yeah, my new favorite of your songs, Kevin! I also have no nits. I love the words. I was going to mention my favorite parts, but I'm unable to choose, so there you are. ;D
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My criticism is that you make it too hard to criticize. Haha. Another great one. Loved the driving guitar rhythm and your singing is excellent.
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Hi Kev, The thing that really grabbed me on this one was the lyrics. The two left feet repeated line is a great hook and the "after my latte" was spot on, and hey ! It seems that you've got a new drum sound which gives this song a bit more of a raw feel which I really like. I thought that this was excellent and love the sound effects you've dug out as well. Top jobby :)
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Thanks for the kind comments guys... :)
John, not aware of any sound effects so maybe you mean the girl saying..'who does he think he is'
that's my wife's superb vocal addition to the song ;D..she says that about me all the time ;D ;D ;D ::)
cheers, Kevin :)
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Oooh yes... tonnes to like here.
1. That perfectly played, crisp acoustic guitar instantly forging a rhythm.
2. Several knowing lines that are sharp as a knife (like 'I'll set the world on fire when I've finished my latte'... haha, I can identify with that!).
3. Percussion all arrives at exactly the right time.
4. As usual with you, it's the right length, ends swiftly and leaves you wanting more.
Nothing struck me as needing tweaking, it seems perfectly formed.
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Enjoyed this one - some good lyrical content and really enjoyed the acoustic guitar - For me this is one of the best i've heard from you in a while. look forward to hearing this one again when it pops up on my soundcloud play list...
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Great to see you having fun with the lyrics here - the "latte" line is superb! Great harmonies and great soundcape all through. I think this style is very "you" - not a ballad or a rocker but something quite unique, great stuff.
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Ha ha!
Yeah we all know someone like that, don’t we?
Great lyrics and a lot of fun. I loved the lower vocal track...sounded great :)
Being a give-me-espresso-or-give-me-death kind of person, I liked the latte line too :D
Top quality!
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Yo Kev.
I love the guitar running through the song,man it drives like a train. The song builds in a very organic way and nothing ever gets overdone or tedious. Is the guitar sound a midi thing? It's as tight as a drum!
Your voice,as ever,lifts the song to another level.
The two left feet lyric is inspired,the guitar has that 'Pick 'em up,put 'em down' rhythm that dovetails perfectly with the lyrics.
Better and better get you,Yoda say. 8)
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Wow. Nice production. Really enjoy those driving guitars. Can almost see him parading down that street, sunglasses on. The intro is cool too. I like that is not the same as in the verse when that comes on. A little, but subtle, surprise.
Beautiful singing and nice details here and there (the girls voice). That echo on some of the ending words are also a nice touch. "Car" sounds terrific but maybe I would have chosen no echo on the following two rows just to put more emphasis on "car". Well, just a side note.
Solid.
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This is Mustard! Absolutely Awesome I see this dude bouncing down the street flaunting himself at every girl he passes. Great production, Lyrics, Vocals, and melody and that Guitar, Music to my Ears Perfect.
Cheers
Royston
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Kev,
For me its all about the building rhythms you do so well to provide at platform for your vocals.
Your drums are always spot on and I feel like I should driving a fast car somewhere in the US
:)
neil