The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: Wicked Deeds on October 05, 2017, 03:54:31 PM
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I think that the Gods of lost recordings smiled favourably upon me today :-)
My external hard drive gave up the ghost about 4 years ago. I lost several albums of new songs, many of which I hadn’t shared before. I’ve since moved home and relocated in recent months. Today, as I unpacked yet another box, I came across a memory stick that included a basic recording of a song that I later developed which became, the most elaborate production that I had completed. At the time of the hard disk catastrophe, It was too much to remember how to play the song or attempt to produce it as I was going through a difficult divorce and had to direct my energy elsewhere. All I could do, was to live with fond memories of a song called ‘I Want To Run’ that I thought was lost forever. Until now………..
https://soundcloud.com/wicked-deeds/i-want-to-run
I Want To Run
Maybe there’s a plan in place to save me.
I’m sick and tired of roller-coaster rides.
There’s a fortune teller trying to make a living.
I guess she lied. Man she lied!
I much prefer the image in the mirror,
a distortion of the one who’s now undone.
I want to run.
I want to leave this place behind and not return,
unless I burn,
unless I burn.
I look out to the ocean from the ferris wheel.
There’s a perfect storm that lingers in the bay.
The unsuspecting people in the crowd below might one day say,
perhaps they’ll say
“I much prefer the image in the mirror,
a distortion of the one who’s now undone.
I want to run.
I want to leave this place behind and not return,
unless I burn,
unless I burn.”
I want to age in love and wisdom,
to know that fate is in my hands
but this house in which we live
is built on sand.
I want to run.
I want to leave this place behind and not return,
unless I burn,
unless I burn.
Written by Paul Vasey
https://soundcloud.com/wicked-deeds/i-want-to-run
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Hi Paul
Now this is a quality piece IMHO.
Love the acoustic guitar esp the part behind "I much prefer..."
And the vocals are sublime ;D ;D
Good stuff
Paul
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A lovely piece my friend..excellent vocals, a very pleasant listen .. :) :)
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Very nice delicate piece Paul. And what a great story about its rediscovery - perhaps "now is its time"? The ferris wheel imagery stuck with me. It all has a music-box quality and the chord progressions felt just right.
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Hey Paul ;D ;D
Hope all is well..
Lovely song My friend. Beautiful and delicate.....like me ;D ;D
Really like the repeating guitar melody with that delicious, unexpected
chord you throw in....inspired stuff ;D ;D Would love to hear the
full production.
About time you got that equipment set up mate. ;D ;D I'm going to send
you some encouragement.... ;D
take care
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Yo Paul.
You know when you see a spiderweb on a dew laden Autumn morning,it has the little jewels of water decorating the web strands and it's a one off creation showing the beauty of nature? This song,to me,has the same fragile and vulnerable air,yet underneath,like the spider's web there a strength and a sense of purpose.
A lovely song. :)
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Hey Paul,
There's lots of songs which make use of good imagery, but it's been a while since I've come across one which is so subtly powerful as this. I like the Ferris Wheel verse the best to th effect.
Very beautiful arrangement to accompany the sentiment and imagery and top marks on the vocals from me. I'm particularly fond of the little musical bits after "I want to run" and "unless I burn".
Not that it was good to lose your main recordings to begin with, but must've been awesome to come accross this 'lost' song!
All the best,
Scott
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I'm so glad you found this song again Paul as it's flipping excellent. There's so much feel in it. I can hear some Prefab Sprout in here maybe. It's an absolutely lovely song
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Hi Paul,
This has a wonderful melancholic vibe.
Definitely needs a black and white video - perhaps with lots of rain.
Simple and delicate, with a chorus that doesn't smack you in the face. Doesn't feel forced in anyway.
Very nicely delivered.
Digger
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I love the simplicity of this! I especially love the word painting (kinda) with a 7th (I think... well there's some dissonance there) in the "I much prefer the image in the mirror" lyrics - reflects a slight turn of the lyrics which I think adds a wonderful colour to the already gorgeous piece :)
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Nice song and you sing it well and the music sounds lovely but tbh, im not to sure about some of the lyric lines but all in all really nice listening.
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Really like the fortune teller line. There's something really quite intriguing about the lyrics, not complex but with different directions possible, which works well for me.
That change to the chorus is really classy too and the lone piano really really sets it off well. Could it be that the loss of that elaborate production was in fact a blessing? In any event, this is a thing of beauty as it is.
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Guess a lot of us has memories of "lost songs". Not quite as tough as this one I hope because this was a nice one. Even as good as your memories of it perhaps? :)
Good thing it has returned to the land of the living.
Some soft backgroundsinging here and there perhaps? I can almost here them in my head. Or some subtle strings just to add another layer of beauty. Or maybe that´s just because I am the "let´s add things" kinda person :D
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Hi,
This is a real pretty song, and you guitar work is real nice, I am not much of a lyric guy but more of a producer and this is produced well.
You have a nice sound there and your vocal is cool.
Great work.
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I'm blown away by all of the generous comments and replies for this lost song.
Thank you everyone!
Paul
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Yeah you're the poet, man. You release the shape trapped in the words. This is very cool and I know the chicks will love it. I gotta get me some of this stuff 'cos all I attract is weirdos.
Musically it's lean and skinny and healthy. Those type songs live a long time y'know.
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Lyrics are darker than the music implies, which I like. I was missing the carnival references at the end, but maybe it would have been too obvious to continue with that imagery. Lovely singing and voice.
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Love this so much!
Love the piano part.
I thought the "I want to run" phrase would repeat in the chorus. Don't know whether that would be improvement or not, but it's what my ear expected.
I don't know what else to say, just that I love it, beautiful song.
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This is such a beautiful track. The interplay between the guitar and piano is really nice and your vocal sits great on top. I loved the lyrics. I let this play while I went and sat down to text my bro...Sunday morning, sat there and this was the perfect background music.
Thanks for this pal. So lovely to listen to :)
Darren
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What a find! The song is beautiful, simple yet clever, and sweetly sad. Amazing emotion and vocals plus clever chord sequences with your beautiful guitar playing my friend. Grand stuff. x
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Once again, thank you for the lovely comments.
I've lived on the north a east coast all of my life until recently when I moved to the north west coast :-)
The sea has always played a prominent part in my life. My Dad was a fisherman and when he died, I scattered his ashes across the waters that he fished.. I lived a stone's throw away from the beach as a young boy. I have memories of this area stretching back to when I was three years old. I have found throughout my life that I am drawn, especially to the coastline where I lived during my formative years. The carnival would visit this area many years ago and continues to do so every year, at the same location.
'I want to run' is about how I felt towards the end of my marriage - unloved, desperately wanting to belong again. I used the carnival imagery: the Ferris wheel, the distorting mirrors, the roller coaster to communicate my feelings at that time. The unsuspecting people who attend the fun-fair, might one day feel as a I did and conclude that they 'much prefer the image ' in the distorting mirrors to their true self should their world come crashing down.
Thanks again for the lovely comments.
Paul
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Nice and delicate Paul, and possibly all the better for the simplicity.. only you'll know.
I really like the sparce setting which allows your heartfelt lyrics and delicate vocals to shine.
:) :)
neil
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Wow, now that is one of my favourites I've found here.
The production is perfect, the lyrics are not cliched, and the melody is gorgeous. PArticularly love the very subtle hint of piano that underscores the melody line but doesn't distract.
I notice a few people have used the term "delicate" and I've spent the last few minutes trying to think of a different word to use. However, that is about the best word I can think of. It feels like a shaky house on a cliff face. Which I guess is the point, perhaps. Very similiar to the post-breakup acceptance when you have to just sit back and let depression run its course.
It's tired.... and weary. But then theres hope in it too.
Sorry, I'm rambling a bit here - anyway, wonderful tune. Will be listening to your stuff more.
Kudos!
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Hi Paul
Not listened to anything of yours for a while - wow man, this is a real treat. You sing it beautifully. There is a classy vulnerability about the delivery which is so engaging, it demands you listen to the words.
It's always more difficult to keep (my) attention with simple arrangements, as I love big production numbers, but I love this. Production wise, you've got it spot on. Really well done.
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This is a really lovely song mate. I love the chord sequence, lovely playing & that simple little bit of piano is actually for me a wonderful hook.
Very nice singing aswell. Thank god you found it eh? ;D
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What a gem! Love the guitar playing and the strip down arrangement, the piano is a wonderful spice understated as it is. Really, really good vocals, personally I would have preferred less reverb and a more intimate vocals sound but that is of course down to taste and personal prefs.
Oh, did I say I really enjoyed the lyrics as well? :)
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Hi Paul,
Others have already covered most of what I was going to say. It is such a delicate, heartfelt song and you have wisely kept the accompaniment simple. Lovely vocal delivery, perfect playing and a gorgeous, gem of a song.
M
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The complete impression of this song is the health of my ear.
Just as simple it's as strong and trustworthy is the balance between composition and lyricism
- I like a lot
Good craftsmanship
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I feel your pain, my worst nightmare is losing songs.
Simple but effective.
I like the honesty in the vocals and there's a fullness and warmth to them.
The recurring piano motif works well too. I might be tempted to develop this a little towards the end, but
that's just me.
Really nice relaxed but reflective vibe.
Yodasdad