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Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Works in Progress => Topic started by: Threepwood on September 05, 2017, 10:48:35 PM

Title: lazyfish guesthouse - well song (demo)
Post by: Threepwood on September 05, 2017, 10:48:35 PM
Hello all...
I'm a 29 year old male looking to get more into songwriting. I've wanted to for so long, and have been singing for a long time, but honestly; I don't have discipline, and that has made it difficult for me to be persistent about things I've wanted to be good at in general. Lately though - as in very recently - a lot of stuff has happened in my life and that has given me a drive to just push forward. I would like to get some feedback from the beginning on, so this is like one of my first songs ever, as I've mostly had unfinished drafts in my 'repertoire' since recently.


Fav bands are such as: Radiohead, Jeff Buckley, Swans, Neutral Milk Hotel, Can, Pink Floyd, Godspeed You! Black Emperor, King Crimson...

I think this song could be classified as progressive rock, but I honestly don't know.

https://soundcloud.com/user-90009141/well-song/s-f930A

Title: Re: lazyfish guesthouse - well song (demo)
Post by: Darren1664 on September 07, 2017, 05:04:22 PM
Hi Threepwood

Welcome to the forum and thanks for sharing your work :)

I actually listened to this last night but got interrupted by a phone call from my Mum (How dare she..) before posting my comments and they didn't save. Anyway I see the track isn't available anymore so can't refresh my squid so will write what I remember :)

First off the lyrics were dark but very intriguing. I really liked them and thought they worked really well with the track. The track itself did remind me somewhat of Radiohead in ways but was very much it's own thing. I thought the guitar playing was really good and I enjoyed the fuzzy section in the middle but not so much in the lengthy fade out.

Your vocal was the stand out for me because, although the song didn't have a chorus as such, the song builds and varies through your vocal delivery which I thought was quite powerful.

I like the song and thinks this has great potential.

Thanks for sharing

Darren

Title: Re: lazyfish guesthouse - well song (demo)
Post by: Threepwood on September 07, 2017, 11:38:37 PM
Wow, thanks a lot Darren. To be honest I took it down because I thought no one was gonna reply anyways. But now I'll think about uploading more songs here in the future :) and also become better at reviewing everyone else's stuff. I actually listened to quite a few songs in this section and the 'Finished songs' section and thought there was a lot of interesting stuff there.

But thanks again, man, means a lot!
Title: Re: lazyfish guesthouse - well song (demo)
Post by: PaulyX on September 08, 2017, 01:33:51 PM
Hey Threepwood, welcome.  Love the sound of your influences!
You'll for sure get more replies from the forum in time if you post your track again and leave it up longer.
Jump on in.
Pauly
Title: Re: lazyfish guesthouse - well song (demo)
Post by: Threepwood on September 10, 2017, 10:50:32 PM
Hey PaulyX.
I wouldn't know if they're all influences as much as they're just among favourite bands, like I said.
But yeah, thanks for the advice, I've put the song and the lyrics up again, also in the first post.

https://soundcloud.com/user-90009141/well-song/s-f930A

Still fumbling around with the outro.. it's pretty random.
Title: Re: lazyfish guesthouse - well song (demo)
Post by: Jay-morris on September 10, 2017, 11:27:47 PM
I really like this track. Your voice is great. At first I thought you sounded like the lead singer from Interpol, but other moments your voice reminded me of Jeff Buckley. The guitar sounds great! A lot of emotion in your voice and playing. Loved the lyrics too.

Cannot wait to hear more of your music

Title: Re: lazyfish guesthouse - well song (demo)
Post by: Threepwood on September 11, 2017, 02:11:51 PM
Thanks a lot, Jay-morris. I wish to share more on this forum soon. Thanks for your kind words.
Title: Re: lazyfish guesthouse - well song (demo)
Post by: Silver Machine on September 11, 2017, 11:02:30 PM
Great performance man! You broke my emotionometer dude. Shattered it with that awesome vocal.
Its punk, its prog, its Muse on multivits busking in a subway!
Would be monstrous with a band behind it.
Title: Re: lazyfish guesthouse - well song (demo)
Post by: Threepwood on September 13, 2017, 10:27:58 PM
Thanks a bunch, Silver Machine. I dig the way you express yourself :)
Title: Re: lazyfish guesthouse - well song (demo)
Post by: Darren1664 on September 14, 2017, 09:33:41 PM
Wow, thanks a lot Darren. To be honest I took it down because I thought no one was gonna reply anyways. But now I'll think about uploading more songs here in the future :) and also become better at reviewing everyone else's stuff. I actually listened to quite a few songs in this section and the 'Finished songs' section and thought there was a lot of interesting stuff there.

But thanks again, man, means a lot!

You're welcome mate. Really pleased you got it back up and yes! get more up please ;) and yeah don't worry about the reviewing you will get used to it. I found it hard at first but seem to have found my groove. Glad you're sticking around. Darren
Title: Re: lazyfish guesthouse - well song (demo)
Post by: redrhodie on September 18, 2017, 11:51:53 PM
Woah. That's a lot of tension you got there. Pretty relentless song. I think that's what you were going for. It's like those times when you just want life to be easy, but it keeps getting harder. And harder. And harder. Good job.

Title: Re: lazyfish guesthouse - well song (demo)
Post by: PENKSLYRICS on October 11, 2017, 09:16:31 AM
Great lyrics, very intriguing and thought provoking. After reading the comments, I would like to hear it, can you repost it on soundcloud.
Title: Re: lazyfish guesthouse - well song (demo)
Post by: The S on October 11, 2017, 11:34:24 AM
Yeah, I think we've all been there sort of, first time I posted a song here, and hadn't got a single answer after 2 hours (hehe) of waiting patiently constantly refreshing the site, I also almost deleted my post thinking why on earth would I've thought that anybody would be interested in listening to my songs. (I was so eager to get feedback I forgot that people have lives outside this forum, so feedback might take days occasionally though without ill intent.) But I took a deep breath and waited some more and the turnout and following feedback was well worth the wait.

This is a great place. Give it time to get to know people some more and you'll find out.

Oh, and after reading all comments, I of course wanna hear the song. Link doesn't work unfortunately!!!

...and welcome to the site!  :D

Cheers,

Peter
Title: Re: lazyfish guesthouse - well song (demo)
Post by: Threepwood on October 14, 2017, 10:50:56 PM
@redrhodie - Pretty late on this one, but thanks for your reply. I think you're pretty accurate about what I was going for. Hadn't really thought about it...

@penkslyrics and the s - Thanks for your interest in the song, got it up again, here's the link: https://soundcloud.com/user-90009141/well-song/s-f930A

Hopefully I'll upload some new stuff soon.. Have to finish the majority of some lyrics first, it's always the hardest most frustrating part.