The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => The Bar => Topic started by: Paulski on August 06, 2017, 02:23:46 AM
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Ok so we know song writers have a sense of humour - right?
So how about playing a little game which I just invented tonight waiting for files to upload to dropbox for the skubber. Here's how it goes:
Add a comment to this thread with a joke in the following format:
I wrote a song about .....
I'm going to put in a few examples myself so you get the idea - please help keep this going!
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I wrote a song about a broken down airplane but it never really took off ;D
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I wrote a song about a vacuum cleaner that really sucked. ;D
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I wrote a song about the common cold - and it was really catchy. ;D
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I wrote a song about a smart fish - but it wasn't very catchy. ;D
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I wrote a song about a one-legged dog but it was pretty lame ;D
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Damn Man "a one-legged dog" thats a smart fish i mean "vacuum cleaner" breaking down and i mean who wants to fly in a broken down airplane ah yeah talk about the common cold like, haha ;D
John Wayne ride up on a three legged limping mule on the borders of, well hell shit him and that mule didn't even know but anyway, John Wayne walks into the only saloon bar and ask for ???
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I wrote a song about counting backwards.
It went to number 1.
I'll get my coat. :p
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I wrote a song about an incomplete jigsaw puzzle.
It was a bit short.
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Haha nice idea ;)
I wrote a song about memory loss - I forget how it goes.
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I wrote a song about fishing, but it didn't catch on.
I forgot to use a hook.
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I wrote a song about a bucket.
It went down well.
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I wrote a song about a skunk
People told me it stunk ;D
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I released an album called "anagrams"
It was obvious to everyone who heard it that I'd written a load of "hits" :P
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I wrote a song about camouflage
I can't find it...
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I wrote a song about a trek in the rainforest.
It had a bit of a ropy bridge.
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I wrote a song about Astronomy - it was in the charts
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I wrote a song about a herb and a fish, but this isn't the thyme nor the plaice...
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I was pretty tired last night, kept looking at the clock telling myself it was time to go to bed but I really wanted to write a song about all the tools I like in the screwfix catalogue and their corresponding product numbers's.
In the end I decided it was just tool 8. ::)
(Just watch, I bet Pompeyjazz can make a song out of this!!)
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I wrote a song about the bird's and the bee's.
It just seemed to take on a life of its own.
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I'm writing a song about the DFS sale....it's not finished yet.
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I tried to write a song with my Strat hanging down by my knees, but I couldn't play the guitar solo.
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I wrote a song about a very convincing fake turd.
Everyone thought it was shit.
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I wrote a song about an unorthodox jeans factory. It had an unusual cord progression...
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This thread cracks me up...
BTW Guitar solo....took me while!
So anyway I tried to perform a song earlier that I wrote called 'Hands' - but I was all fingers and thumbs.
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I wrote a song about gender-swapping fashion models, but I couldn't settle on a key.
It was just a lot of transposing.
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I wrote a song about schizophrenia, no you didn't.
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I wrote a song about a coat I kept finding on the floor...it was off the hook.
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I wrote a song where I tried to copy Jagger, Fleetwood, Hucknall and Ronson, but I couldn't get the mix right.
Paulski what have you started!?
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I wrote a song that Lady Godiva offered to help me with - said she had nothing else on.
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I wrote a song once to earn money for drugs when I was on holiday in Ireland...I just did it for the craic.
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I wrote a song about dropping a piano down a mineshaft - couldn't decide on which key to play it in.
Ended up with A flat miner ;D
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I wrote a song about reroofing my barn.
It was covered twice.
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I wrote a song with a dwarf who lived in the Parisian subways. No percussion - I just played along to the metronome.
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I wrote a song while I was on a pub crawl, it was a bit long though...too many bars.
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I sit in work trying to think up new ones of these! :P I'm not very good though
I wrote a song about dry snotty nose - I did some finger picking
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Haha - these are great - we need a LIKE button!
I wrote a song about an elevator - had a good lift but it brought some people down.
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I wrote a song for a man who was cloned.
He was beside himself with gratitude.
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I wrote a song about subtleley and sensitively telling someone that they are the product of an incestuous relationship.
I thought it would be difficult but 10 minutes and Bob's your uncle, it was done.
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I've got an annoying tendency to keep writing songs about a nun whose clothing rides up to expose her bare buttocks every time she bends over.
I know, it's a bad habit.
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I wrote a song about someone who pretended to write a post on a forum just to reach their next 100 posts.
Yay 700!
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I wrote a song about a turd in a swimming pool.
It floated along nicely but no-one would pick it up.
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I wrote a song about a prison inmate who always talked down to people when he passed them going down the stairs. He was a condescending con-descending.
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I wrote a song about how Phil Collins can't even take a woman out for a coffee without sleeping with her...he's an easy lover.
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Can't.Stop.Laughing! Love the humor.
I wrote a song about astrology. It wasn't in the stars for me to become one.
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These are great! - a particular shout out for TONE's transpose
I guess I should have a go...
I have been writing quite a dark song about sadism, necrophilia, and beastiality...
...but I was just flogging a dead horse ;D
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I wrote a song about knitting. It was quite a yarn.
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Yodasdad, You shouldn't have laid down that challenge.I'm now well into writing a song based on the screwfix catalog although it's going to be more about obsession I think. Thanks for the inspiration ;D ;D
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I wrote a song about invisible ink, still cant find it
A three legged dog wrote a song call "I miss my paw"
Gets me everytime that one :(
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I wrote a song about egocentricity, but enough of that,lets talk about me! :-*
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I wrote a song about the Lacoste crocodile taking a trip in a hot air balloon...it was all based around a rising motif.
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I wrote a song aimed at Bonnie Tyler, it had a great I IV V turn around in it. I was getting a little bit nervous that she wouldn't like it and that I'd spent so long working on it that all my best years had gone by.
When I took it to her I saw the look in her eyes and I was a little bit terrified. She passed on it on principle as she was tired of me never coming round.
I'm falling apart, I've cried, I cried so loud you could probably have heard the sound of my tears.
I messed up, I totally missed from the start.
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I'm trying to write a song about the tough times I've had, about how I've tried to escape the troubling waters of my life. It's not working though, I just can't find the right bridge.
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I wrote a song in the style of Elvis Presley but when I sang it for my mom she hated it. She was really nasty but she said she was sorry and that she didn't think it was very good because she couldn't even tell what the title was.
I said that's alright mama.
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I wrote a song about a guy called Pompeyjazz, he used to be a good songwriter but for some reason in the middle of his latest song he developed an obsession with DIY, gave up on songwriting and went off to start a career as an odd job man, never to be heard of again...
Strange that!
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I wrote a song about Strawberries - it was covered by cream
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I wrote a song for Crowded House called "The Elephant in the Room"
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I wrote a song called "Gathering Moss" but the Rolling Stones wouldn't pick it up.
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I wrote a song about a crane.
It was long and slow but it picked up at the end.
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Like Paul McCartney and "Yesterday" I wrote a song in my dream the other night.
Only my song was about eating a giant marshmallow.
When I woke up - my pillow was gone!
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I wrote a song about silence.
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I wrote a song about Armageddon. It self-destructed in the end.
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I tried to write a song about the titanic but I kept running into obstacles.
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I wrote a song about Hitler. The first 2 attempts didn't work but the 3rd was all reich.
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I wrote a song about a very big lock...it needed a major key.
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I wrote a song about a guy I used to know who just kept repeating the same thing over and over again..his name was Austin Arto.
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I wrote a song about a Chinese gang...it's full of triads.
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I wrote a song about 2 weeks ago.
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I wrote a song about how I quit my job selling teflon frying pans..I just couldn't stick to it.
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I wrote a song about a surrealist
It was a banana :P
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I wrote a song but it never got fini
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I wrote a song about my struggle to lose weight. I've tried really hard but it doesn't matter how little I eat I just don't seem to get any thinner, I can't underst hang on a minute, I think I've just heard the ice cream van, back soon...
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I worte a snog abuot luzing a spilleng b
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II wwrroottee aa ssoonng aabboouutt aa sstttiiiccckkkyyy kkkeeyybbboooaaarrrrddddddddddd
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I WROTE A SONG WITH A LOT OF SHOUTING IN IT!!!
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I wroet a snog aduot dislexikal.
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I wrote a song about a flatulent eagle, it was taken up by Bette Middler.
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A mixed up song I wrote.
About yoda's father it was.
The intro for the outro I should switch people said.
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I can write a song about compulsive self gratification with one arm tied behind my back...oh, no I can't.
(Oh no, he lowered the tone)
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I wrote a song about when Boydie took over the forum...he lowered the Tone. :D
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I wrote song about a guy who rides upturned grand pianos like a go cart down a snow covered mountain, it's called Paulski.
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I wrote a song about a problem I had back in the 80's when I worked in an office. Every time someone sent me a written document, an exact copy would follow immediately after it...apparently it was called a shadow fax.
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I wrote a song about a North Korea Missile and posted it on a few forums.
Problem is, all the American sites wanted to do was shoot it down.
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I wrote a song about how the Japanese didn't realise the North Koreans were firing a missile at the US, it went over their heads.
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I wrote a song about how the Americans failed to intercept a missile fired from North Korea, but it went largely under the radar.
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I wrote a song about when the world found out Who the new US president was... it wasn't very well received.
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I wrote a song about a meteor hitting London city hall.
Key? A flat major of course!
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I wrote a song about Snow White and the dim7
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I wrote one good song and it was for Alanis Morrisette, only to find that she had already written the exact same song and released it....ironic.
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I wrote a song about the advice Oscar Pistorius was given by his lawyer when he wanted to keep his spirits up but also let him know that he didn't have chance at trial...it's called best foot forward.
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I wanted to write a song about civil war but had to give up because everyone was up in arms.
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I wrote a song about superglue.
I got a lot of stick.
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I wrote a song about hemorrhoids - it really got too sore at the end.
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I wrote a song about a hemorrhoid - but some @sshole claimed it was his.
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I wrote a song about "eternity," but I couldn't figure out how to end it.
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I keep trying to write a lullaby but i keep falling asleep.
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I wrote a love song for my lover but she hated it, apparently i got her name wrong.
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I wrote a song about life getting the best of me - I had a breakdown in the middle
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I wrote a song about travelling on foot from one side of a river to the other, but I fell into the water.
I forgot to include a bridge.
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I wrote a song about Jesus walking on water, i thought about a bridge but i mean, it was a song about Jesus walking on water.
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I wrote a song about a slow fish.
Never cought on though - didn't get to the hook fast enough.
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I wrote a song called 789 - it had a great middle eight
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I wrote a song about how I overcame my pessimistic outlook.
Bet nobody likes it.
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I wrote a song about a man puking on a road map.
It hit the charts with a splash.
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I wrote a song a few years ago for Oasis. I managed to get a meeting with their publisher and played it to him in person in his office. What I didn't realise was that Liam and Noel had crept in behind me and were slagging it off.
I didn't look back in anger, you just have to roll with it.
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I tried to write a song about the dangers of prostate cancer and the need to get checked but it was a real pain in the arse.
People didn't seem to like it so I thought I'd play it to my doctor in the hope that he could relate to it, he just gave me the finger.
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I was going to write a song about wild fungi but I don't have mushroom left on my hard drive.
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I wrote a song about the wonder bra, it's very uplifting.
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I wrote a song about a little bluebird that visits my garden, its going cheep if anyone wants to buy a copy.
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I wrote a song about compulsive lying...or did I?
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I wrote a song about the bicurious metronome, it swings both ways.
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I wrote a song about the FBI (Finest Beans in Ireland) i even got the world acclaim farting choir to help me with the chorus, okay they stank the place out but i have to admit, i never thought farting could sound so beautiful.
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My boss wrote a song once about a syncophant - best I've ever heard!