The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: giitlesriddles on August 02, 2017, 05:58:43 PM
-
Hey Guys. I haven't even been on here since the fall. College applications, and auditions took up a lot of time, and then I found myself only wanting to play jazz for a while after that. However, I've been trying to keep my songwriting going. This song is my first song I've written in ages. I was going for a psychadelic rock kinda feel, and a simple repetitive groove that built.
&t=9s
The lyrics are
Run far away from here, My dear
Block your ears so you can't hear, my dear
Run Far Away From Here, My Dear
Ignore the turning of the years, My dear
Going On My Hear Stays Strong, So Keep Away From My Open Arms, My Dear
Not Your Fault Cause youre not to blame, Just another case of nature predator and prey, My dear
Close your Eyes for me my dear
Show me how you disappear,
Close your eyes for me my dear
And I'm not even here, My dear
Going On My Hear Stays Strong, So Keep Away From My Open Arms, My Dear
Not Your Fault Cause youre not to blame, Just another case of nature predator and prey, My dear
I hope you enjoy. But be sure to tell me why if you don't, ;)
Nate
-
I definitely got the desired psychedelic rock feel from this. Put me in mind of a Jefferson Airplane jam, that kind of late 60s vibe, which is a style I like a lot. Lyrics-wise, I couldn't really build up much of a picture of what you want to say since they are quite oblique, but nothing grated either, so fine if you want this to be more of a groove/mood piece than a narrative. Hope the applications & auditions worked out for you.
-
Guys,
Just watched your video,
Love it, wasnt sure what to expect at the start but got well into it, Great work.
Love all the guitar styles and tones, also the dude on bass just suddenly going string slapping and pulling then back to chill play. Nice
Drummer kept the vibe goin,
Its a winner for me.
Loved it.
Live too.....cant beat that.
Andy
-
Hi Nate,
Wasn't sure where it was going for a while, but it built up into a very enjoyable track, some nice guitar work, and the guy in the sombrero is super cool! nice drums too, and well done to all of you for doing a great job of playing it live.
Mikey
-
What an awesome job you guys did playing this live! Even though psychedelic rock isn't my favorite type of music, I liked it, mainly because of the great guitar parts and the steady drums to back it up. Maybe you could focus a little more on the vocal parts, which now seemed to be lacking a little volume with the louder guitar parts in my opinion - but that's just a matter of turning up the mic volume!
Good job! :)
-
Very sixties Woodstock feel..works for me, great vibe!!!love the guitar tone and rawness of this track!!!
-
Reminds me of Joy Division .Well done
-
Technicolour sombrero and stripey shorts.... I think I've got the title of my next track!
Nicely done, some tasty guitar playing, especially for someone who looks quite young.
I got a jazzy Metalica vibe at the beginning.
Liked the repetition of the my dear hook line.
Nice work.
Yodasdad
-
At first the vocal style threw me. I though that it wasn't gonna suit my tastes. But I have to be honest, after I rolled up a cigarette and let it wash over me it really began to work.
I can't place what it reminds me of, but theres something ringing some serious bells in my head.
At any rate, I really got into it, particularly the solo work on guitar.
Good job guys, I'd love to hear it properly recorded sometime and benefit from all the perks of studio techniques.
Floyd meets Dead. :P
Great stuff!
-
Hi Nate, great 60's vibe to this with shades of the kinks and arctic monkeys in places, all mixed up in a hippy mind altered sort of a way.
Looked like you guys were having fun!
Cheers
Jamie
-
Hi,
Wasn't expecting to enjoy this but I did...very much. Lovely guitar work and a neat 60's vibe especially the vocals. Reminded me of The Grateful Dead and that west coast psychedelic sound. Very cool, very relaxed and dreamy. Excellent.
M
-
Yo Nate.
I always think when someone believes in what they play,it communicates to the listener. Audiences know on a subconscious level when the players are phoning it in.
You guys believe and it make me believe too.
Love the Robin Trower touches when the univibe kicks in around the 3 minute mark. 8)
-
Turn on, tune in & drop out. Well, maybe not.. ;D
Pleasant surprise this, a tad on the long side but I guess you can get away with it given the genre.
Some very cool fretwork going on here and the backing makes a splendid work. The vocal delivery was eh, .. 'unorthodox" but works fab in the context.
Yep, I like this!
-
Hey hey,
That looks like so much fun, you have a cool setup there! Cool gang too, sombrero flexing that bass and drummer over there is smashing it up, that you on vocal/guitar too!?
All the kudos, what a lovely, accomplished and confident piece. As others have mentioned, awesome vibe, flawless - and those vocals sound way past your years, beautiful!
Don't know what I could say really - only that if you were playing live by me, I'd be sure to grab a ticket.
Keep it up, I'm looking forward seeing and hearing more!
Cheers,
Scott.
-
I like.
everything pretty good and bluesy.
one note:
it seems kinda hard for you to play guitar and sing at one time. you could improve the singing. it s out of tune and over-emotional.
apart from that: Super
-
Hi,
Nice one, liked it, good live feel.
Neat solo too
I'm hearing a bit of RHCP too.
:)
neil